Chapter 96
But of course, time does pass, and we do eventually stop kissing when things again get heated. Because what Jackson said before really was the truth this is not the time or the place for it.
–
Somehow we separate ourselves from each other, though we’re never really more than an inch apart, and we take a moment to get comfortable, organizing our supplies and taking inventory before Jackson passes an apple to me.
“Here,” he murmurs. “Eat, please. And then you should probably get some sleep.”
I take the apple but laugh at the suggestion that I’m going to get any sleep. I mean, I just confessed my deepest secret to my mate what, does he think I’m going to just curl up and take a nap?
–
“I’m serious,” he growls, though I wave a hand at him, dismissing the implied danger in his voice that probably makes other men quail. We’re both well aware that he’d never hurt me. “You should rest, Ari.”
“Well, so should you!” I protest. But when I look up into his smirking face I scowl, shaking my head. “You seriously just don’t need it?”
“Nah,” he says, shaking his head and reaching for the canteen. “The water I need, we have to share that. But food and sleep that’s all for you. I’ll keep watch.”
–
“I’ll rest,” I say, hesitant. “But Jackson….there’s still a lot we need to talk about. And I’m not going to be able to sleep until we…come to terms with some stuff.”
“Okay,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me tight to his side. I smile up at him, pleased that he’s not fighting me on it, but then I realize that he’s….well, he’s got a ton of questions, doesn’t he?
But before he gets to those…I have to start.
“Jackson,” I murmur, turning more fully to him now and taking his face seriously in my hands, gazing at him. “I am so…so sorry that I’ve had to keep this from you.”
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“It’s okay,” he says, instantly willing to forgive, his broad hand coming up and wrapping around my wrist like he wants to be touching me all the time.
A little smile takes my lips as I shake m easily, Jacks. You were tortured by this
head back and forth. “You shouldn’t forgive me so I know you were.”
“Well, yeah,” he says, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “But now that it all makes sense – why I could catch whiffs of my mate’s sense all over the castle, why her trail always seemed to lead to you. I mean, I get it now.” He frowns a little, lowering his head to my neck and taking another long sniff. “Is that..Jesse? Has he been scent marking you?”
Quickly I nod. “My cousin,” I whisper, seeing the possessive question already in his eyes. Slowly he nods, believing me. “Again, Jacks, I hope you can forgive me for it, over time. It wasn’t easy but…I didn’t have a lot of choice, not if I wanted to stay in the Academy.”
“No, it’s okay,” he says, giving an easy shrug, already over it. “I don’t care. I didn’t mind waiting, Ari – I just wanted to know that you were safe.”
“You should care,” I say, smiling at him but still feeling a little guilty. Luca’s response in some ways made more sense he punished me, a little, and rightfully so. I lied to him for weeks. But Jacks he’s so instantly ready to move on.
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“Nah,” Jackson replies, wrapping me up closer in his arms, pulling me cozily into his lap. again and against his chest as he presses a kiss to my hair. “It’s all worth it. I don’t want to make myself feel mad just because I should. I have you now, don’t I? It’s all that matters.”
I find myself feeling quite touched, and a little overwhelmed, as I lean against his chest, tucking my head for a second beneath his chin, cozy and warm despite the chill in the night air. Because…maybe he should be mad. There is…there is more coming, after all, that he’s not going to be pleased about it’s actually not so simple as him having me now.
–
And if he just forgives me at every turn, even though none of it is my choice either, even if the Goddess herself gave us this path…
Well, who is going to watch out for Jackson’s heart, in the trials to come?
We are, my wolf growls, fierce.
And I set myself to the task, immediately agreeing. Jackson he’s big, and he’s powerful,
–
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but he’s quite tender, beneath it all, isn’t he? And..
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As sad as it sounds, Jackson is a bit more desperate for love and affection than I’d like him to be. He’s willing to wipe away all the offenses against him, just to have me in his arms.
God, he’s too good, to pure and sweet. I press my eyes shut, begging the Goddess for strength so that I can be as good to him as he deserves.
“What?” Jackson murmurs, nudging me with his nose, and I realize that I’ve gone quite still and rigid in his arms.
“Nothing,” I murmur, lifting my face to look into his. “Just…thinking about a thousand things.”
“Well, don’t worry about them,” he says with a little frown, like it’s so easy to just not. I grin at him, laughing a little. “We’ll figure it all out. It will all turn right.”
I smile at him, unable to stop myself as I reach up to stroke his hair, tucking it back behind his ear over and over again. “Jacks,” I murmur, as he looks down at me with such tenderness in his face, his expression. A tenderness that is…not totally unfamiliar, if I’m being honest because he has looked at me that way before, even if he thought I was a boy. “Did you really not know?”
His face bursts into a grin and I can feel him laughing all around me in his chest, in the way his arms shake. My smile widens and I find that I quite like being all wrapped up in him. “Ari, I definitely did not know. It was the shock of my life when you pulled your shirt. up and I saw you had a girl body under your uniform.”
“Really, though?” I ask, laughing outright now, shaking my head a little in disbelief. “Like. no hints before? No inklings nothing about my face, or my mannerisms? I was just…all boy to you?”
–
—
“Ari,” Jackson sighs, shaking his head, growing a little more serious even as he smiles. “I have… absolutely no context for any of that. I don’t know any girls everyone I’ve met is a guy. So, if there are social cues that I’m supposed to pick up on to be able to tell that you’re a girl? I just don’t know them.”
I tilt my head, considering him, remembering what Ben said about me reminding him of his sisters. “Ben says I laugh like a girl,” I blurt out, saying the words as I think them.
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Jackson grins. “I like your laugh,” he murmurs. “So, if that’s how girls laugh, then…I guess f
like that.”
“Were you attracted to me?” 1 hear myself ask, curiosity getting the better of my mouth.
Jackson’s smile grows. “No.” he murmurs, shaking his head.
1 squeak a little, sitting up straight, indignant.
“I mean, I am now!” he says, laughing as he works to correct himself.
“What, just because I show you my stomach and you realize I’m a girl suddenly you think I’m pretty!?”