A Love Restored

“Hi, Papa.” I sigh, engulfing my father in a hug. He wraps his arms around me. I haven’t seen him in a while. It will be nice to live with my family for a few days.

Papa, Gabriel and I spend the day talking and playing board games. Papa takes a nap, and Gabe and I discuss possible names for the baby. They arent excited for my wedding. Not as excited as I’d expected them to be. But its fine, I suppose. I’m not that excited, either. I just want to get it over with.

“Ginny, what do you want for dinner?” Papa asks me, emerging out of his room after his nap. “You won’t be eating much of my food now.”

For some reason that makes me burst into tears. Its probably the pregnancy hormones. Papa sits down beside me. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly,

1 shake my head. “I’ll just miss you, that’s all

He chuckles. “You’ll still work at the tattoo shop. We’ll see each other regularly.”

I smile. I know. I’m so stupid.

“Nien is a good man, Ginny. And you have known and liked each other for years now. I’m glad you’re marrying him.

I nod. “He’s lovely. He’s good to me.”

Il him. He

He chuckles. Pastrami it is, then

“I want a pastrami sandwich.” I tell

Papa whips all three of us sandwiches. They’re yummy as always. When I was younger Papa would make these all the time. They had been my mom’s favorite, too. God, I missed my mom. She would have helped with me all this.

rea

After dinner, we watch a movie, then we all go to our separate rooms. I curl up in bed. Tomorrow is to be a long day. Gabe had wanted to throw me a bridal shower, We have it at our place, and then lunch.

1 reply to a text from Nico, then keep my phone to the side. Just as I’m about to fall asleep, it buzzes with a text. Its a number that’s not saved, but one I know very well.

one out for a bir?

I’m outside your place, Can you come out

My breath catches in my throat. I know I shouldn’t go out, I know I should ignore the text and go to sleep. But stupid, stupid body. And stupid, stupid heart. I’m already getting out of bed, pulling on sweats and changing into a long sleeved tee.

I pad slowly down the living room and get out of the house, shutting the door softly behind me.

Julian is standing outside. Just outside the main gate, leaning against his car. He’s wearing a black sweatshirt and jeans. He has his hands in his pockets. When our eyes meet, its like I can’t breathe for a moment. I walk over to him gingerly, focusing on my breath.

“Hey, I mumble..

He fidgets with his hands. He’s so close to me. Barely a foot away. I could reach out and touch him. He could reach out and touch me. But neither of us

does.

“Hey.” He says softly. He looks different. His beard is darker. His hair are longer.

“What are you doing here?”

He shrugs.

The silence its awkward, but its also su terribly painful. Its like someone has stabbed me in the chest and cut me open, and left me out to bleed. I have

been bleeding for months now

“Well

“And the…” He trails off, looking g away from me for a second, taking in a sharp breath. When he looks back, he reaches out and touches me gingerly on

my stomach,

ΤΗ

“The baby

“Good.

He nods, taking his hand away. I feel the loss in my bones. “I’m glad”

“And how are you?”

“Good.” He scratches the back of his head. “Um, I’m going to Italy, tomorrow.”

July?

“Oh, for work?

He nods fast. “I’m going to stay. Take over the work there. I’m not…coming hack

Oh

“What about Nua?” Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

“She’ll come, too. Eventually”

I give him a small smile. That makes sense.”

I see his fingers flex. He clenches and unclenches his fist, then mutters under his breath, “Fuck it.”

I don’t see his hand coming, but I feel it on the back of my neck, as he pulls me into him, and smashes his mouth to mine. He kisses me tenderly, but it is rushed and hard and desperate. His hands move up and down my hack, and I grab his hair, pulling him forward, kissing him with all I have. This is the last time get to kiss him. To touch him. To still love him and not be betraying someone.

“Come with me.” Julian whispers..

“Anywhere. Please, just for tonight.”

I say yes, because I don’t have it in me to say no, and we get in his car. He drives us around aimlessly, neither of us saying anything, his hand tightly clasping mine. He finally stops near an empty forested area he had shown me before. We’d come here once to look at the stars. He had kissed me under the starlit sky and said, “You know this is it for me, right?

Memories fill my mind. I look at Julian. I know he’s remembering, too.

He gets out of the car, then helps me out. Taking my hand softly, he smiles at me, then leads me into the forest, and we stop at the grassy area maybe quarter of a mile in

“Come

We lay there, his arms around me, my head on his chest,

Remember when we came here last?” He asks me

“Yeah. It was nice. Julian tenderly strokes my hair, pushing a lock behind my ear,

The sky was beautiful that night. Not so much tonight”

“I remember.” I remember everything, Julian.

He sighs, kissing the top of my head.

“Do you remember the time you brought me buttercups from Donna’s garden and it turned out you were allergic?” I smile fondly at the memory. He had been sneezing when he came to see me, and thought he had a cold.

He chuckles lowly, and I feel his chest vibrate. “They were rather pretty. They reminded me of that yellow dress you wore when I took you out.”

I look up at him. He’s staring up at the sky, a wistful look on his face. I have missed this comfort, the warmth of his embrace, the grey and blue of his eyes, the depth of his voice. Maybe in another time, another place, another life, we could have this forever.

‘Do you know when I knew I wanted you for the first time?‘

I shake my head.

“At your birthday, when we were dancing.”

I giggle. I remember that. You’re a great dancer. And you were so cocky.”

“Soon you will dance with your husband. He is a fine dancer, too.

He really isn’t, but I don’t want to talk about Nico, right now.

“Come, dance with me” fullan says, sitting up, making me sit up as well. He fishes out his phone and plays a song.

He stands up, and offers me a hand. I accept reality, and he pulls me to him, wrapping his hands around me, pulling me so close, until our bodies are crushed together.

“La festa appena cominciata, è già finita.

Il cielo non è più con noi.

Il nostro amore era l’invidia di chi è solo, era il mio orgoglio, la tua allegria.”

(The just started party is already over. The sky is no more with us. Our love was the envy of who is alone, It was my pride, your cheerfulness.)

I reach up and place a soft kiss on his lips. He smiles. “I’ve missed that.”

“É stato tanto grande e ormai,

non sa morire,

per questo canto e canto te

La solitudine che tu mi hai regalato lo la coltiva come un fiore.

It has been so great and now, It can’t die. This is why I sing and I sing about you. The loneliness you gave me, I grow it like a flower.)

“Darlin?” Julian says softly. I hum against his chest.

“Does he treat you well?”

“Yes.” I whisper. He does. Its not a lie. I wish he didn’t. Then I’d have reason to hate him, reason to let myself hurt him. But he treats me better than I deserve.

“I never did. I’m glad he does. He looks down at me. “You deserve the world at your feet”

“Chissà se finiri,

se un nuovo sogno la mia mano prenderà,

se a un altra io dirò,

le cose che dicevo a te.

(Who knows if its goin

a going to end, If a new dream is going to hold my hand, if I’m going to say to someone else, The things I used to say to you.)

I am yours forever.

I still love you, I think. I never stopped, I don’t think I ever will. I don’t care how you treat me. Just say the word. I am yours. I am

is arms move from my waist in my back, and with the other he holds my hand, fingers intertwined in mine. The song is coming to an end. The music, the dancing, it feels like everything is coming full circle.

It feels like the end.

“Ma oggi devo dire che ti voglio bene,

per questo canto e canto le.

E stato tanto grande e ormai non sa morire,

per questo canto e canto te

Chissä se finirà, se un nuovo sogno la mia mano

prenderà,

se a un’altra o dir le cose che diceva a te

(But today I have to say, I love you. This is why I sing and I sing about you. It has been so great and now it can’t die, the just started party, is already over. The sky is no more with us. Our love was the envy of the ones that are alonelt was my pride, your cheerfulness. It has been so great and now, it can’t die. This is why I sing and I sing about you. The loneliness you gave me, I grow it like a flower.)

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