Chapter 20
Flashback Continues…
Phoebe Point of View
“Are you sure you are alright, Nicco?” I asked for the umpteenth time but like always the only response I got is a nod.
“Yes I am.” I sighed long time glancing to and fro from the young cowboy and my heart’s cowboy.
Nicco, after returning from Belgium with a bag full of delicious chocolates and few antique jewelry for me, he wanted to take me to horse riding because he liked it when he visited a farm in Belgium. He also bought the chocolate factory which he wanted to partner up with two years ago. After coming back from his little trip that day, he told me his plan to take over the chocolate business in few years and true to his words, just like he planned, his father messed up the deal so badly that they needed Nicco’s money to save the factory.
Along with it, he got interested in a farm with horses and loved the rural life there so he wanted to try it here in New York with me.
He said he wanted to try riding horses with me and frankly speaking, I just loved it. The experience, the memories we made were never going to erase from my mind. They are imprinted in my mind and heart.
It was going all well, we were riding on a horse together, then when I got used to riding I and Nicco raced too, it was going well until the cowboy here started to eye me with admiration.
If it was just admiration then I don’t think Nicco would mind much but the boy was looking at me with lovers affection in his eyes which ticked Nicco to great lengths.
If I thought my Nicco was a sensible person then I am going to reevaluate about it again because right now he is the silliest person I have ever seen.
“No you not. Why are you ruffling my hair and putting the dry hay on me?” I asked closing my eyes to prevent any dirt to go into them. I am trying to free myself from his hold and clean myself but he kept on putting hay on my hair and on my clothes.NôvelDrama.Org exclusive content.
“Because you look beautiful in your cowgirl look.” He stated shortly like it would explain everything.
Is he really getting jealous of a stranger boy? I wanted to hit his head to knock some sense into him but dear, I want to laugh at him too. This is the first time ever in these ten years I have seen him like this. Usually he is very composed and laid back. There were many times men took an interest me and there were many times he was jealous too.
But never did he act this childish.
“Nicco, you do know that you are acting weird, don’t you?” I asked in a small voice shaking my head. He is still obsessed in making me ugly at this moment so whatever I said is not going through his ears properly.
“It is no way weird for your boyfriend to act this way when another male is looking at you.” He responded while gritting his teeth and rubbing some sooth like dirk on my cheeks.
Argh, I am getting itchy with all the dirt on me. Why is he behaving like this so suddenly?
“You didn’t behave like this before when some other men looked at me. You were so calm and composed. You didn’t even blink an eye before.” He looked at his art work on me and smiled a little feeling very satisfied with the result.
I must be looking like a mummy cremated centuries ago. This must be the first time ever in the history that a man is glad to make his girlfriend ugly.
He shrugged, “Because all those men looked at you with lust but this boy he is looking at you with affection.” Okay… so?
“And that is a problem?” I asked in confusion. I mean isn’t adoration better than lust?
“Yes because looking at you lustfully is better than looking at you with warmth and love. Lust is wanting physically but love is a want for you completely and only I can look at you with such warmth and love.” He explained pecking my lips. “That guy is competing with me for your affection. And I don’t take competition lightly.”
Weird… his reasoning does make sense but this boy is who I met today and after today I would probably not meet him at all and Nicco is getting jealous of him.
Sometimes I wonder how many angles he has. The more I think I understand him the more he reveals a new thing to me.
I chuckled at him and wiped away the dirt from my cheek using his shirt to which he scowled. “Don’t clean your face.”
“But I look dirty.” I retorted with a whine. It’s a little hot here and we have been active from morning so I’m feeling filthy right now. With the addition of new dirt makeup from Nicco I desperately want to have a long hot shower.
“You look beautiful to me even if you tumble in a mudflat.” He smiled widely at me with sparking eyes. He said so sincerely that made my heart skip several beats.
How did I get so lucky to have him in my life? He is looking at me with such mesmerized look as if the grim and dry hay on me doesn’t matter to him at all.
“And I don’t care who find me beautiful. I only wish to find that look for me in your eyes. The most beautiful I feel is when you look at me with those mesmerizing eyes like you did not see such attracting person anywhere.” I whispered wrapping my hands around his waist and looking into his deep eyes. “You make me feel beautiful, Nicco. Your eyes are like my personal mirror, whenever I look into them, I find myself very attractive and gorgeous. I just love to see myself from your eyes.” I whispered placing a kiss on his hard chest.
Nicco pulled me to him hard, plastering my body to his. He looked sideways for a moment and kissed me roughly. He pushed me back to the pillar and pressed himself against me biting my lips roughly.
God, what has gotten into him suddenly? He is not a person who likes public display of affection but seems like things change in desperate situations.
“Damn, why do I feel aroused when I imagine you naked lying on the dry hay in the barn?” I blushed red at his raspy seducing whisper.
“Enough of kissing, the boy went away.” I laughed when Nicco’s eyes softened in relief.
“You don’t need any other man in your life, Bella. I will fill you with so much love that you don’t have to find it anywhere else.” Nicco whispered genuinely kissing the side of my head. I passed him a fake smile when Sienna’s words came to my mind.
‘What about him? What will he get when you leave?’
Time and again, when I remember her words, I get anxious regarding what future holds for us. I want to be with Nicco forever if it is possible but I know it is not possible because one day I have to leave him. I have to free him from the tainted relation he has with me. I need to hand him over to a woman who is capable of taking care of him and stay by his side with head held high.
I tried to hint him about the business dates he had to go with his young women partners and the daughters of his other partners. I tried my hard to show him my support in dating someone of his standard but I don’t know if he did not get the hint or he deliberately avoided it.
There were times when I asked him straightforwardly about his dates in a friendly teasing manner and forced him to tell me what kind of girl he met and how he felt for her. However, all I received was cheesy pickup lines from him for me. He either says that I am most beautiful woman in his eyes or he would tell me that no one can interest him as I did.
I died in pain and jealousy whenever he went on those business dates. Though I know my Nicco can never like another woman like he does to me, I wish he consider loving someone else.
Though it pains me, it is nothing compared to his happiness. I will bear all the pain with a smile if he is happy in his life. Sometimes I wonder if being with him is a hindrance for him to move forward with someone else.
I wonder if I was being the reason for him to not find liking in someone else.
I wonder if I am holding him back with me.
Love should make a person happy and encouraging but his love for me is only pulling him back into the void of darkness. Our relationship has no future whatsoever. One day we are bound to part ways and I want to see him happy in the arms of a person who can stand beside him with dignity.
Should I try to pair him up with a good girl who can take care of Nicco with her whole heart?
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