Chapter 190
Chapter 190
Chapter 190: Loving Silas
Cassie.
Finn's words were not expected, and staring up into his eyes, I was almost sure he was going to kiss me. Yet, instead of the kiss on my lips that I expected, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead, catching me off guard before quickly stepping away. The action wasn't what I would have thought typical for a man like him, and without another word, he turned with his guard and disappeared back down the street from where we had come.
'’Cassie, come with me..."
The deep voice behind me sent shivers over my spine as I realized Silas had seen the entire interaction. Turning slowly to face him, I took in the hazel eyes filled with fire as his narrowed brows loosened slightly and a heavy breath escaped his lips.
"What are you doing here?' My voice was shaky but without hesitation, he took my hand and pulled me gently behind him, back up the path from which I had come earlier on in the evening and through the doors that would eventually lead me back to my apartment.
"I felt your powers, Cassie. It seems that it isn't only your anger that triggers you..."
Gasping at his comment, I stopped dead in my tracks, causing him to stop as well. He glanced over his shoulder at me with a frown upon his lips. 'You think that he caused something to happen to me? That wasn't why my powers went off, Silas."
"It doesn't matter, Cassie. It's time for you to retire.'
Dismissing me the way he was pissed me off more than anything. I may have been a lot of things, but I didn't deserve to be dismissed when he was making assumptions about me that weren't true. "I was
harassed by a man out there while enjoying the festivities. For your information, Finn saved me from destroying him or anyone near. Something that you should have done, but choose to ignore me instead.'
Anger lurked within his gaze as I ripped my hand from his and brushed past him towards my room, barely making it past the doors to the building before I was stopped yet again by Silas'touch.
"Don't you dare walk away from me.'
Staring at him dumbfounded, laughter escaped me as I shook my head. “You have got to be kidding me? You're not my husband or my partner, so you don't get to tell me what I can and can't do. You made it clear how you view me, Silas."
Snatching my hand, he dragged me down the hallway with determination as he made his way with me straight toward my room. Never had I seen such action from Silas as I did right now and as soon as my large doors came into view, he didn't hesitate to push them open, pushing me in.
"Silas... would you stop!"
The moment the door was closed, he spun and gripped my throat and pulled me close. The tension between us was overwhelming but unlike the way Lucas touched me, or even Finn, there was something about Silas that made my body want to melt against him.
"Why should I, Cassie?" he all but purred with his lips inches above mine, “isn't this what you wanted? You talk about me not doing shit and constantly give me these looks as if to say you want me but hate me at the same time. Do you know what it does to me?"
Pulling me tighter, he leaned into my ear causing me to moan softly. "Tell me..."
I was asking to be punished but in all honesty, with the way the alcohol from this place affected me, I did want to be punished. I wanted him to do things to me that only he had been able to do before. Yet as I stood there with him staring down at me, I didn't know what was going to happen.
"I don't see how you don't know how crazy you make me. How much I wish I could be by your side all the time but I can’t. Why do you think I have been pushing you away, Cassie?"
I didn't know what to say to him. I hadn't really thought about any of that kind of stuff. But now that he was standing here telling me he wished he could be with me, I didn't know what to believe.
"You have a real funny way of showing people that you care."
My sarcastic comment was just enough to push him over the edge and before I knew it, I found myself caught within his grasp. His lips smashed against mine as his hands tore at my clothing, pulling it from my body bit by bit.
There was no sweet, soft passion to the way he was handling me and when my back met the cool wall, I knew I was about to be ravaged in more ways than one. He took me without hesitation, his pants had dropped to the floor, the long length of his erect shaft pushing against my core as the head dove deep inside me.
This was exactly what I wanted, and now that I had him fucking me like a bitch in heat, I wasn't about to do anything to stop it.
Gripping my hair, he yanked my head to the side, running his nose up the length of my neck as his hips continued to thrust roughly against me. His long, thick, spiked cock massaged the inside of my tight cunt causing my body to shake with pleasure. “You like this don't you, Cassie?“
"Yes-" I gasped, "please, don’t stop-'
"Stop?" He laughed. “Oh, I'm going to make you scream in more ways than one.'
'Prove it."
Two words were all it took for him to completely lose himself as his lips crashed upon mine with his tongue diving deep into my mouth. His fingers gripped at my thighs as he lifted me up high onto the wall, fucking me harder and harder.
It had been so long since I had slept with a man, and having Silastake me was beyond mind-blowing. The harder and faster he moved, the more I clawed at his back crying and moaning for him to give me everything. Begging and pleading for everything. Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
With eyes bright as gold and red as fire as if from the pits of hell, he held me tightly in place, claiming my body for himself as the ridges of his spiked cock latched inside, causing me to scream just as he tipped me over the edge and spilled himself inside of me. The moment was more than I could have asked for as we both panted, dripping in sweat as we stared at each other.
The only problem was it seemed realization had filled Silas because there was no smile on his face as there was on mine. He was silent for a moment as he looked down at our union and his eyes widened in fear as he quickly pulled out of me and let my feet hit the floor.
"We shouldn't have done that, Cassie.'
"Are you fucking serious right now?" I replied in anger and shock. We had just spent an amazing moment with each other, and he was seriously telling me that we shouldn't have just done what we had done as if sleeping with me was incredibly wrong to do.
Turning to face me, confliction weighed heavily on his mind, his eyes reflecting the doubts he had and the worries that seemed to weigh upon his heart. I hadn't meant for the moment between us to happen,
and it was more Silas that had caused it than me. His eyes flashed between his dragon eyes and the mundane ones that stared back at me typically.
"I can't ruin your life, Cassie. There is no future with me, and Odin will never allow us to be together. I’m but-“
"Don't say it!" I gasped loudly as I crossed the space between us placing my hand on his bare chest. The blank, ancient symbols upon the rigid muscles of his chest held some sort of story that he wouldn't tell me, but reminded me of how different we were. He hadn't had them before but seeing them now, they suited him.
A difference I didn't care about because it didn't change how much I cared about him.
"Cassie, you know what I'm saying is true. Plus, you have Lucas... and now Finnick. Those are two men you can be with."
Shaking my head, tears brimmed my eyes as I finally looked up at him again. 'But what if I don't want to choose? I care for Lucas, yes, but I also care for you. I don’t want to have to pick, and I can't imagine my life without either of you."
Raising his hand, he ran through my hair before his palm rested upon my cheek. His thumb brushed against the skin as I closed my eyes and pressed my face into his palm just a little bit more.
Only a minute ago, we were having a moment that I never wanted to stop, and once again I was left begging for more time. I wouldn't be able to have, because he was too worried about someone finding out. I didn't care about the rules. I wanted him to ravish me regardless of what others said, and instead, he was pulling away.
Pressing his lips to my forehead, he smiled at me. "I wish that things were that easy, Cassie. I really do, but we aren't in a position for things to work like that."
"What if it could, though?"
A deep chuckle escaped him as he smiled and stepped back from me, gathering his clothing as he began to get dressed. "It can't, Cassie..."
"Yes, I'm aware of what you're saying, Silas. But just humor me for a moment. What if it could? If we could be together... would you want to be?'
Staring at him, his eyes not meeting mine, he sighed once more as he pulled the black cotton shirt over his head before turning to me once again. "Yes, Cassie. If the world was perfect, I would.'
Clearing the step between us once more, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight against him. "I wish this was a world where we could choose our own stories, Cassie, but you have to understand that unfortunately, it isn’t that easy. I was given a choice once before, and I had to do what was asked of me to ensure that I was able to survive. This was the life I chose and if I had known you would be coming into my life, I would have chosen differently.'
No matter what I said, it was obvious Silas was stuck in his decision. The only thing I could do was hope for stolen moments like this one. "I understand... but it doesn't mean that we can't keep seeing each other in secret."
"Is that what you want though?" he asked, narrowing his gaze. "To keep me a secret?"
"No," I replied quickly, trying to reassure him. "I’d rather have you all the time, but having you anyway is better than none at all."
"And your love for Lucas?" he asked, making me hesitate in my next words. I had never expected the idea of loving more than one man, but it wasn't like it was an impossible feat. My mother had done the same.
"I can love you both, Silas."
Love wasn't something I had expressed to Silas before, and standing before him now, the way the gold flickered within his gaze, it was obvious he hadn't been expecting me to say that either. I expected him to laugh at my admission, or perhaps shrug it off.
What I didn't expect, though, was for him to look at me with such passion it made my heart want to leap from my chest.
Running his hand over my hair again, he lifted my lips to gently meet his while a frown formed upon his face. The silence killed me as I waited for him to say anything that might give me clarity as to what was going on.
"I have to go... but perhaps fate will show us what he holds in the future."
I had no clue what he was talking about. He pulled away from me and turned to leave me naked, standing in my room, watching him walk out my door. I couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed of myself and how we had acted.
My own emotions confused me as I tried to understand what had happened to bring me to where I was, and what I could do to get my life together.
Maybe I could love more than one, and perhaps my future wasn't much different from my mother's. At the end of the day, only time would tell if it was meant to be or if I was simply a fool to think I could have a happily ever after, just as my mother once had done.