Arranged Mafia Marriage

Elsa

I run my palm down the fabric of my dress. Why am I sweating? I didn’t do anything wrong. Whatever I did was to protect my child. It’s what any mother would have done.

And you almost got him killed. I raise my hand to knock on the door of the hospital room, then pause. I flatten my palm against the door instead. My husband’s in there. Is he still my husband, after everything that happened, or is this like the shortest marriage in history? No, that accomplishment belongs to Britney Spears and Jason Alexander, who were married for fifty-five hours. And didn’t a couple in Kuwait stay married for just three minutes? And why are these random facts popping into my head? No doubt, it’s Summer’s influence. Not only was she a movie buff but she also loved to quote random trivia facts, something which rubbed off on me. It’s also where my Keanu Reeves obsession comes from.

We lost touch when I married Fabio, and while I feel lucky to have met Theresa, the fact is, she married into the Cosa Nostra, as well. If only I could speak to someone like Summer, who has nothing to do with this life. Maybe that would provide some perspective on my situation. She must be very busy though, for the last I heard, she’s happily married to Sinclair Sterling, once the most notorious playboy in London; now, by all accounts, her loyal husband. I saw a photo of them in the tabloids, where one of the paparazzi had clicked them attending a Christmas party at one of their friend’s places. They both seemed very happy, hand-in-hand, big smiles on their faces.

No, it wouldn’t do to disturb her.

“Elsa,” Massimo says gently from behind me, “you ready to see him?”

No.

No.

“Yes,” I nod.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

He reaches over and knocks on the door. “Go on,” he says in an encouraging tone, “I know he’s looking forward to seeing you.”

I take a deep breath. Here goes. I push the door open and enter. My gaze is instantly drawn to the man on the bed. His shoulder is swathed in bandages, and his left arm is in a sling that goes around his neck. The bandages are stark white against the tan of his skin. His big body dwarfs the bed. Surrounded by the white sheets, he seems so out of place there. You put him there. It’s your fault he was hit. Your fault he’s hurting now.

He watches me with a brooding gaze as I move toward him. My knees tremble, but I force myself to put one foot in front of the other. I come to a halt in front of him. This close, I can see the dark circles under his eyes; the hollows under his cheekbones are more pronounced than I remember. There are new creases radiating out from the edges of his eyes that I don’t recall. Somehow, that only adds to his sexiness. Even wrapped in bandages, he’s the most virile man I’ve ever met. I’ll never love anyone else like I do him. And I lost him. The band around my chest tightens, a ball of emotion twists my stomach with such force that I am sure I am going to be sick.

“Seb,” I clear my throat, “Seb, I’m so sorry.”

His features harden, then he firms his lips. He peers into my features as if searching for something. He holds my watery gaze, and I want to look away. I try to lower my eyelids and not allow him to search through my emotions, but I can’t. I owe him this. I stare into those golden-brown orbs of his, now dulled with pain. A pain that I caused. My stomach hurts. My knees tremble. I grab the back of a chair and steady myself.

“Seb… Avery… I…”

“I forgive you.”

“What?” I gape.

“You’re a mother first, Elsa. You’d do anything to protect your child. It’s the first thing I noticed about you. How you’d hold her close and never take your gaze off of her when you were with her. And more than anything, I wanted that. I wanted your attention just as focused on me, to the exclusion of anything else. The fact that you could put her before anything else, even yourself… It’s that complete selflessness that drew me to you. How can I now blame you for following that instinct? How can I hate you for putting your child first, when it was that very quality that drew me to you?”

“Seb?” My heart seems to expand in my chest. At the same time, the hair on the back of my neck rises. What have I done? Did I actually think I could hurt this man and live with myself afterward? Couldn’t I have found a way to safeguard my child and also spare him from being hurt? How was I so weak I allowed Fabio to manipulate me into doing something I didn’t want to do? Couldn’t I have trusted my husband with the truth? And now, it’s too late.

“Oh, Seb.” My voice cracks, and I lower my chin to my chest. A tear drop squeezes out of the corner of my eyes, and goddamn it, I’ve had enough. This crying, sniveling mess I have become, who bends too easily to other people’s will, is not me. I may have allowed Fabio to use my weakness-Avery-against me, but that ends here.

Seb had done that, too, though. He’d used the fact that I’d do anything for Avery’s happiness to cajole me into marrying him. The only difference is, I’d known what I was getting into. Known that this would help me set him up so Fabio could get access to him. I feel so dirty.

“I had no idea that he was going to shoot at you. If I did-”

“You’d have still done it.”

This time, I glance away. He’s right. I didn’t have a choice, though, did I?

“I would have helped you.” Seb curls the fingers of his unbandaged hand into a fist. “All you had to do was tell me what he was forcing you to do, and I’d have found a way to protect you and Avery.”

“He has Avery with him during the week. Every time I drop her off, I’m convinced it’s the last time I’ll see her. There’s nothing stopping him from never allowing her to see me again.”

“I would have found a solution. I would have done anything it took to ensure that you never had to see him again.”

“He had. Avery. With him.” I grip the back of the chair so hard that the edges of the wood dig into my palms. “How could I risk going against him, when he had my daughter in his grasp?” Anger licks through my veins. “It’s so easy for you to ask me to trust you, isn’t it? So easy for you to wave a hand and get your people to take care of the situation.”

“I never would have asked anyone else for help. I would have taken care of this personally.”

“I couldn’t risk it, don’t you understand? He had Avery in his home, under his roof. What if he did something to her?”

“And yet, you don’t want me to kill him?”

“God knows, I do… But he’s still her father.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “When she grows up and asks me about her father, what would I tell her?”

“That I’m her father.”

I snap my eyelids open. I see his face, take in the clarity in those gorgeous eyes of his. Oh, my god, I’ve been such a fool. This man… He would have done anything… Anything for me and my daughter. He would’ve died before allowing anything to happen to her. He never would’ve allowed Fabio to hurt her. He would’ve used everything in his power to ensure that Fabio would never see her again. He would’ve ensured I had full custody of her, just like he had promised. He actually loves me. He loves me. And while I’d told him I loved him… I hadn’t fully internalized it. I didn’t love him enough to trust him. The pressure behind my eyes builds, and I blink away the moisture. I will not cry, not again. Shit. I’m doing it again. I tip up my chin and meet his gaze as tears stream down my cheeks. “I am truly so, so sorry, Seb.”