45
The same way she felt when they were sitting watching TV in the evenings, and Kaleb would leap to his feet and say that he was going to do some work in his room. But he’d say it in such a growling kind of way that she found herself wondering if she had offended him.
Still, she wasn’t going to find out by attempting to read his mind, and after a week she decided that they needed to talk. She waited until Tilly, who had come to visit, had gone home after one particularly busy afternoon, and found Kaleb sitting in the living room, doing some paperwork of his own. His eyes looked sleep-depleted and he badly needed a shave-so how come he still looked like the most desirable man she had ever seen in her life?
He looked up as she walked in, and frowned. “Everything okay?” he asked.
“Not really.”
He was on his feet in an instant, his face a fretwork of frowns. “Is it the baby?”
“No, it is not the baby!” said Sasha crossly. “Every time I feel tired or have a negative thought it doesn’t mean that I’m going to lose the baby!”
“Don’t be so bloody flippant, Sasha.”
“I’ll be flippant if I like!” she retorted, knowing her voice sounded wild, but blaming it on the hormones which were raging remorselessly around her blood-stream. “I’m the one who is actually carrying this child.
Remember? I’m the one stuck with this bizarre situation of having you living here with me like some… some…”
“Mmm?” He raised his eyebrows, instantly on the alert. “Some what?”
“Some… stranger!” she blustered.
He smiled. “Very mild, Sasha. I was expecting much worse than that!”
“Now who’s being flippant?” The icy stare had thawed a little.NôvelDrama.Org owns this text.
“Sit down,” he suggested softly. Now why did Kaleb suddenly sound like the host? Sasha pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down. “Tell me what you want, sugar,” he said gently.
She wondered how much she dared say, and then realized that she had nothing to lose by being honest. “I can’t see that you living here is going to work if you’re just going to cook for me and bring me cups of tea all day and then hide away in another room. Like some old-fashioned retainer! Or a paying guest who isn’t paying!”
“You mean you want rent from me?” he asked, dead-pan.
“No!”
Kaleb laughed. “Okay. That’s what you don’t want. Now tell me what would please you.”
Sasha swallowed as she studied her hands, which were neatly folded on her lap-it seemed easier that way than having to meet his eyes. He could please her just by existing. But there was being honest and being foolish, and you didn’t tell a man a thing like that-especially when he hadn’t shown the slightest tendency to come near her-let alone make love to her.
She sighed. “If you’re here in body, but not in spirit, then I’m getting all the disadvantages of having someone share my house-with none of the advantages.”
“Such as?”
Sasha shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know! The late-night chats over a cup of cocoa-”
“But you’re not allowed late nights-remember what the doctor said?”
She pulled a face at him. “Okay. The soul-searching, then.”
This drew a smile. “You want to search my soul, do you, Sasha?” he mocked.
“Yes, I do,” she murmured. “If you’ve got one! You’re the father of my baby, Kaleb-and I don’t want you to be a stranger to me! Or to the baby. I want to be able to answer questions about you, when he or she is older.”
The smile disappeared. “Questions in my absence, you mean? Isn’t that rather assuming that I’m not going to be around to answer them myself?”
“But that’s the whole point! I don’t know! We haven’t discussed it, have we? We haven’t discussed anything.
How much of a hands-on father are you intending to be?” She stared at him intently. “You can’t just move in and pretend that nothing is happening. Something very big is happening, and we need to talk about how we’re going to deal with it.”
He was silent for a moment. “Don’t you think we should take things slowly?”
“That’s rich-in view of how we got ourselves into this situation in the first place! We didn’t think about taking things slowly then! And there’s a difference between taking things slowly and never getting off the starting block!”
Kaleb sat back in the chair, “We can’t possibly predict how we’re going to react to this baby when it feels like we’re making everything up as we go along. Doesn’t it?” he probed.
“I guess it does.” She gave him a look which she knew was helpless, but she was past caring whether or not she appeared vulnerable. Right then she felt vulnerable. But she was pregnant-so she was allowed to! “Maybe it feels like this for all parents-to-be.”
“Maybe.” He stared down at the yellow roses which stood in a crystal vase on the desk. Sasha must have put them there this morning. “What we can do is to make the most of the present and see where we go from there. The relationship we forge together during these next few months is going to be the foundation for the future.”
“Some foundation,” she murmured, “when you’ve been actively avoiding me.”
He shook his head. “I haven’t been avoiding you, sugar. I told you. I was giving you space. Trying not to upset your life even further-”
“Kaleb!” She leaned across the desk. “About the only thing which could upset my life further at the moment would be to discover that I’m to give birth on national television!”
“Ah, yes,” he said gravely. “I’ve been meaning to speak to you about that!’ Their eyes met across the desk and the sparks of humor which flew between them were unbearably erotic, Sasha thought, smoothing her cotton dress down over her stomach, as if to remind herself of the consequences of erotic thought.
“Tell me what you want to know,” he said.
“About you, mainly,” she said simply.
Kaleb nodded, almost to himself. He’d wondered when this might be coming. He met her gaze with a mocking smile. “I gather you don’t want to hear about the highs and lows of my life” he said.
He saw her frown, then before she could respond, he added, “You want to hear about the other women?”