Chapter 92
Chapter 92
26 Grief and Strength
Cayden POV
I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m not even in my body right now. Even before Lily and the doctor came out, I knew she was gone. Our bond as twins broke the minute she took her last breath. I don’t know how to live in a world without Clara. I had truly hoped that killing that ba**ard and driving that witch away would save her from what my father had said in my vision. I feel arms wrap around me but I can’t even respond. “Cayden”, my mother’s soft whisper breaks me even more. I may have lost Clara, but I had eighteen years with her. She has lost her twice and this time she is never coming back. I look into the eyes of this woman that gave us both life and I break even more when I see her pain. I step back and turn to face the doctor, who looks broken. I can’t bring myself to care about how she feels right now. My sister is dead. “Take me to her now” I demand. She looks past me. I’m sure seeking someone’s permission, which pisses me off. “She is my sister. Take me to her now.” She turns and I follow her down the hall. I can hear footsteps behind me and I know it’s my mother.
When we reach the door, the doctor steps aside and I place my hand against it. Once I walk inside, it’s real. I push the door open and when my eyes land on Clara’s body I just stare at her. The air in the room is still. There is no rise and fall to her chest. No warmth surrounding my beautiful sister. My mother walks past me and wraps my sister’s body in her arms. Her sobs break me and the tears that wouldn’t fall streak down my cheeks. I walk over and take her hand in mine. Her skin still feels warm. I bend laying a kiss on her forehead. “I’m so sorry Clara. I wish it was me lying here. You deserve to be happy with your mate and your pup.” “Cayden, don’t do that” my mother says through her sobs. “It’s the truth. She deserved to have time with her pup and Eli. Please bring her back and take them” I start to plead with the goddess as I fall to my knees. I’m again wrapped in my mother’s embrace. “Your sister
would not want to hear you say that.” “My sister can’t hear anything because the f**king goddess took her from the people that loved her.”
“Cayden, I’m angry and broken, but we need to be strong for Clara, Faith, and Eli.” “I was strong and I couldn’t save my sister from the goddess’s fate.” I manage to get to my feet and my mother places her hands on my face. “Cayden please” she pleads, and I wrap her in a hug. I don’t want to cause her more pain, but I can’t stay here. I can’t pretend that everything is alright when it isn’t. “I have to go. I love you mom, but I have to go.” “Go where, what are you talking about? Faith is here and our pack is here.” “I can’t be here without Clara. Maybe someday it will be different, but right now it’s not.” I see fear and panic in her eyes, which I know makes me the biggest a**hole but I don’t know how to breathe here. She pulls me into a hug again and I hold my mother. I know I will see her again, but I need her to know that I love her. She pulls back and she pulls my head to place a kiss on my forehead. “Fine, but we need to bury your sister first before we leave.” What the hell is she talking about? “Mom” I start to say and she stops me. “I will not lose both my pups again. I am going with you and when it’s time we will return because this is our home.” I want to fight her but honestly, I need her as much as she needs me right now.
Lincoln POV
Talon runs following Eli’s scent. As soon as we reach the trees near the border, I’m broken. Eli is lying unconscious on the ground. I shift and rush to my pup. His breathing is shallow and his skin is cold to the touch. Losing our fated mates when we are bonded is enough to kill us. Faith cannot lose Eli now that she has lost her mother. Losing Clara feels like losing one of my own pups. I push my own grief away as I manage to lift my son with Talon’s help. I reach the hospital and the waiting room is empty. I can’t even think about where everyone has gone as I yell for the doctor and nurses to help my son. They rush over and I place him on the gurney. “Alpha, I will do everything I can but the fight to live is up to Eli and his wolf.” I know what she says is true. I lean down, “Eli, I know it would be easy to follow
Clara, but your daughter needs you”, I say before they wheel him through the double doors. I feel myself give into the loss of our daughter and the block I’ve had between Amelia and I crumbles.
“Lincoln, how could this happen? How can this precious pup never know the wonderful mother she had?” “I wish I knew love. I pray to the goddess we will all understand how this could happen.” “Where is Eli? Where is our pup?” Before I can answer, she is standing in front of me. I see Lily holding our precious granddaughter with pain on her face. I know she is blaming herself for not being able to save Clara, but she can’t. This is no one’s fault. I pull Amelia into my arms and she sobs “Eli is strong. I know he will come back for that little girl.” She squeezes me tighter and I pray to the goddess I’m right. The door opening gets both of our attention. Evelyn and Cayden walk toward us. Amelia wraps Evelyn in a hug and I can’t help but pull Cayden into an embrace. He stiffens at first but relaxes and I can feel the movement of his chest as he cries.
I never expected it when they say they will be leaving after we lay Clara to rest. I don’t agree with them leaving, but I know by the look on Cayden’s face, there is no talking him out of it. “Please promise to keep in touch and return not only for Faith’s sake, but for us.” “You are not only pack, you are part of our family now” Amelia says and she wraps them both in a hug before they head out of the hospital. The doors open again and it’s the doctor this time. “Alpha and Luna, I can take you to Eli.” The doctor’s guilt is palpable. Before I can say anything, my beautiful mate approaches her. “This is not your fault. You did everything right. We don’t always understand the goddess’s plans, but you need to let your guilt go because you have no blame for what happened.” The doctor bursts into tears and Amelia holds her rubbing circles on her back. My mate is truly amazing. When the doctor pulls back, she smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you, Luna. I will try to believe that.” She leads us to the room where our son is lying motionless in a bed surrounded by machines. The beeping that signifies his heart is beating gives me some comfort. Talon whimpers again seeing our pup broken and barely hanging on. Amelia walks over and slides in next to him like she did when he was just a pup. She is whispering in his ear about Faith and my heart squeezes in my chest. I grab a chair and sit down on the other side of theUpstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g
bed, taking his hand in mine. I say a prayer to the goddess despite how hurt and angry I am to bring Eli back to us, back to Faith.
Silas POV
I have never known this pain. When I left Atlas, it was agony, but I gladly suffered it because Amelia deserved a mate that loved her. A mate that put her above his own wants. I may not remember our bond, but I know I did it because I loved her enough to let her be happy with a human that deserved her. That pain was nothing compared to the feeling of my bond with Clara and Cora breaking. I don’t want to go on. My chance at happiness with my mate is over and now I pray for death to take me from this pain. I remember the darkness consuming us as we ran through the trees, but I have no idea where I am now. I can’t feel Eli, but I’m sure he is as broken as I am. “Silas” I hear a soft female voice. I turn to see a beautiful wolf. She looks like Cora, but she doesn’t. I know that makes no sense, but right now nothing does. I walk toward her and sit on my haunches when I’m a few feet from her. “Silas, I know that this is hard, but I need you to listen to me.” “Cora” I say hoping I’m right. She nods and I want to rush to her, but I feel like I can’t move.
“I know that you and Eli don’t understand why this has happened, but I promise you that it will all make sense very soon.” “Nothing about losing you and Clara will ever make sense” I growl. “Silas, you were given this second chance because of the sacrifice you made for Amelia but that doesn’t mean that life will be without it’s trials. You and Eli will not always be broken unless you choose to be. Our pup is the part of Clara and I that you will always have but we are not your future.” My heart breaks all over again hearing Cora speak about our future. We can’t have a future without them. “Yes you do, but you can choose to throw that future away and deny the gift the goddess gives you because you’re hurting. We don’t want that for the two of you. I can promise you that Clara and I want you both to be happy. We want you to go back and love our babygirl with all your heart and when the time comes, we want you to open your heart again to the goddess’s gift.” “We can’t” I start to say and she growls. “Silas, you can
and if you ever loved us, you will. We will always be watching over you both and Faith. Now it’s time for you to make the right choice and go back to our pup. She needs you.”
“She needs her mothers.” Cora walks toward me and places her forehead against mine. “You will keep us alive in the memories you share with our daughter and the love that you give her every day. I know that you and Eli are going to feel confused, angry, and hurt, but you need to accept the gift the goddess gives you. It was always meant to be this way and you will never know how happy you two have made us. Now it’s time to go back and wake up.” Everything in me wants to stay with Cora until the perfect face of our pup pops into my mind. I stare into Cora’s eyes knowing she did this. She licks my face and I close my eyes, reveling in the feeling of this wolf I love one more time before I take us back to our life. I just pray that Eli hasn’t given up.
Two Days Later
Eli POV
I come out of the bathroom and pull on my suit jacket. I look into the mirror, and I shake my self-pity away. I walk over and pick up my beautiful daughter. When I finally woke up, I wanted to run. I wanted to be anything but an Alpha and a father. I lost the other half of my soul. How could I go on living without the most important part of me? It took hours before I finally felt Silas and honestly, I thought about giving into death until visions of my daughter scrolled through the darkness. I know that he was showing me why we had to live. My mother has given me more than one get your sh*t together for your pup talks over the last two days. I would be lost without my family. I was angry when Cayden and Evelyn said they would be leaving for a while, but we all grieve differently. I carry Faith downstairs and my mother takes her from my arms. I pull my sister into a hug. I’m not the only one who has lost her, and my sister is hurting. I have to be strong for my pup and my family.
As I watch them lower my mate into the ground, I feel the loss and I give into it this time. I know I have to be strong, but I allow myself this moment of grieving. I look around at my pack members who have lost their Luna and I can see the heart break on their faces. I hold my pup tight in my arms and I promise her that she will know how amazing her mother was and how much I loved her. We head back toward the pack house to celebrate Clara and Cora. After dinner, Cayden and Evelyn spend time with Faith before they get ready to leave. “Eli, we will return. I promise you” Evelyn says, and I hug her. She is so amazing. She lost Clara twice and she is still standing. If I didn’t have Faith, I know I wouldn’t be here. I need Faith to be close, so I had her crib and other items moved to our room. I mean my room. I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I correct my thought. Larisa walks over and takes Faith from me. “Let’s go take care of Faith and get you some rest.” Larisa has moved to my floor to help me with Faith. I told her it wasn’t necessary, but my sister isn’t one to take no for an answer. Honestly, I’m glad to have her with me. We reach the floor and she helps me give Faith a bath before I feed her. When Larisa leaves, I slide into the bed that still has a faint scent of Clara and I let the darkness take me.
Lincoln POV
“Alpha, we have unwanted visitors at the southern border.” I growl that someone dare come here after we buried our daughter today. “Amelia, I have to go, apparently there is a problem at the border.” This time she growls and slips her shoes back on. I know better than to argue with her right now. We both shift once we are outside and when we arrive at the border, I can’t hold back the growl that escapes me. It shakes the trees and most of the wolves standing behind the two a**holes drop their heads. I shift as does Amelia. “What the f**k are you doing here?” I expect Grant to speak but, it’s the warlock that does. “I made it clear to the Alpha that I would be here to collect the mutts, so what his answer.” I try to walk toward him, but he stops me. “I don’t have time to play games with you wolf and I have no problem killing you and this whole pack.” “My son buried his Luna today so you can f**king leave or I will call every pack member here to rip you apart.” “Where is my Luna?” This time Amelia growls “you have no Luna. Evelyn and her son are gone and you will never see them again.” Grant growls and
whatever was holding me back lifts. I shift but just like that, we are standing alone. Lily and Pheobe appear and I know that this is far from over.