Beyond Beta's Rejection

(Harper’s POV)All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

My shifting for the first shift wasn’t fun. It was long; it was hard, and it was painful as hell. I remembered back a couple of weeks before my fifteenth birthday; I had started to get a fever. I had been so unwell and couldn’t understand why my parents seemed so excited about it. Around a week later, I had started to feel the aches around my body adjusting. I had been confused because I had watched my sister’s first shift, and it had seemed like a disappointing event. My parents had gotten excited, of course. Shifting for a wolf is one of our most treasured abilities and is always celebrated. But after my sister had shifted, something had changed in the family dynamic. Before her shift, my parents would dote upon her every word, and she could do no wrong. I had always felt a little out of place, the second child that no one really wanted but had gotten, anyway. I wasn’t mistreated or anything, but it was obvious who the favourite was. That changed with my sister’s shift.

So when I realised that I was about to shift for the first time, I had gotten upset. Despite the wedge it had put between Susie and me, I had really enjoyed being seen for a while. And so, when I was told I was going to shift, I had started to cry. It was earlier than most, too, as first shifts normally happened closer to the sixteenth birthday, and I felt cheated out of my spotlight time. And then I was confused because my sister’s shift had been easier. One day she was a pre-shifted wolf. The next, after a painful few hours, she was a full-fledged werewolf. I vaguely remembered my uncle Tommy’s being similar, although his had happened a few years before.

The night it happened, I had been dizzy and in pain. I couldn’t keep anything down and had awful headaches. Tommy had basically slept in my room for the whole week. He had argued with my father about it, something about responsibility and honour. I had asked about it, but no one would give me an answer. On the night in question, six days before my fifteenth birthday, I started to feel so much more worse. My uncle had taken me to the woods behind our house and had sat with me for the six hours it took to finally shift. My parents and sister had been there too but sat on the sidelines just watching. It had been the worst night of my life.

It wasn’t like in some movies where shifting was instantaneous and fluid. It would be eventually, but the first time you shift, your body has to get used to the massive physical transformation that is going to occur, and it can be enough to send you into shock. I had screamed and cried and declared I didn’t want to be a werewolf and to take it away for the first five hours and then laid there drenched in sweat, exhausted for the sixth hour. I had cried to Tommy that something was wrong because this didn’t happen to Susie. All he had done was tell me that I was special and it would be worth it and would get easier. When it finally happened, the actual change took a little over ten minutes. It was ten minutes of pure agony. I felt like my throat would be raw from screaming so much. But it happened, and I finally rose on shaky legs—a brand new werewolf. And to my surprise, I was grey. My whole family had chocolate brown fur, but mine was grey. My parents were so happy. Later, Tommy had said that after my eighteenth birthday, my fur would actually turn white. He told me that every few generations, our family line produced a white wolf. I had asked why, but his only response was that I would find out soon enough.

The more I shifted, the easier it got, and I was pretty proud of the fact that I could shift with ease, in seconds with no pain. Of course, now that I hadn’t shifted in over ten years, I wasn’t surprised that I was here on my hands and knees, almost naked and in a substantial amount of pain. I looked up at Elias, who was sitting next to me, stroking my back as another wave of pain eased off.

“What’s taking so long?” I snapped, and he chuckled.

“It’s only been about ten minutes,” he said, which earned him a glare and a growl.

“Only ten minutes. You try going through this and tell me ONLY ten minutes,” I snapped again, and he chuckled again.

“You got this, baby, I know you do,” he said as he continued to stroke my back.

I could feel another wave coming on and braced myself for the pain seconds before it hit. It didn’t do anything, though, and I screamed out as my fingers dug into the ground beneath me. I felt my nails lengthen into claws before retracting again, and the pain disappeared.

“Trust the process,” Elias whispered. “Trust me to protect you and let go of the control.”

“You trust the process, dickhead,” I snapped, and he just smiled. Of course, I knew he was right, but I didn’t have to admit it. I sighed and closed my eyes. I could feel Elias’ hand up and down my back and the gentle breeze caressing my skin. I could hear the wind in the trees and the distant sound of the party still going on at the pack house. I could taste the b***d in my mouth when I bit my tongue a few pain waves ago. And I could smell the night and Elias. His sea salt and mint scent caressed my skin even more than the wind. It wrapped me in a warm, safe cocoon, and I focused on that. I allowed myself to absorb his touch, scent, and bond into me, to let it take over me, and I submitted control to my inner beast, knowing that Elias was there to catch me if I fell.

I felt the shift almost before it happened. The next wave hit me with a powerful force, and I screamed as my bones broke and reformed and my skin tore and healed. I felt as fur sprouted across my skin, and my hearing and sight improved. I lay panting for a few minutes as I became accustomed to my wolf body again and called out to Maia, who had been quiet through the experience.

“Maia?” I called in my head.

“I’m here,” she said, her voice louder than ever before. I nodded my head, knowing she was there. I was still in control of our body, so I tried slowly to get to my feet. I was shaky, and I stumbled a little, but as soon as I did, I felt arms around me and turned my head to see Elias still sitting next to me. He helped me stand on my feet and slowly let go while staring at me. I turned and nudged him with my snout, and he stroked my fur.

“I don’t know why I would be surprised, but you are beautiful,” he said, and I yipped in response. I tried to walk a little, and Elias jumped up and followed close behind as I circled the perimeter of the clearing, getting used to the feel of my new body. I got to one side just as the moon came out behind a cloud. I dashed into the moonlight and heard a gasp behind me.

I turned to see Elias staring at me. I opened my mouth and tried to frown at him. What the hell was wrong with him?

“My goddess!” he exclaimed, and I padded my paws at him and huffed, and he laughed.

“Okay, baby, I get it. Baby, look at yourself. You’re not just white. You are glistening!” he exclaimed. Glistening? I looked down at my paws, and just as he said. My fur was white as snow, but in the moonlight, it sparkled and glistened. Not obviously, but enough that there was almost a sheen across my fur. I looked back up at Elias and huffed again, and he came closer and ran his hand through my fur.

“Absolutely beautiful,” he said.

“Maia?” I said in my head, “Why am I glittery?” I heard her giggle and then, to my shock, heard something else. It sounded like another laugh. I jumped around, expecting to find someone behind me, but there wasn’t anyone there.

“Maia?” I asked again

“It’s not time yet,” she said. “We aren’t at full strength yet, but soon.” I wanted to ask more, but Maia had a question of her own.

“Harper?” she suddenly asked quietly again, and I nodded in response. “Can I play with Jax?”

“Jax?” I asked. “Who’s Jax?” And then I saw Elias’ head lift, and he looked our way. He looked like he had his own conversation. I realised then who she was talking about. Oh, Jax must be Elias’ wolf. I huffed at Elias, and he looked over at me, slightly confused. I was starting to get annoyed at not being able to communicate, so I circled him a few times and bit at his ankles, and then yipped. He c****d his head to the side and then laughed.

“Oh!” he said. ” Are you sure, baby?” I bounded into the woods and then back to him, and he laughed again.

“Ok, give me a moment.” He headed into the woods on the other side, and a minute later, a big black wolf came bounding out of the trees. I knew instantly it was Elias and Jax, and he bounded over to me and nuzzled against my fur. I marveled at his size and the deep black color that looked almost blue. Maia was already yipping in my head, and I grinned, the best I could as a wolf, at Elias before handing full control over to Maia. I saw the shift in Elias as his golden eyes shifted through, and he had also given control to Jax. The two wolves bounded together and chased each other around the clearing for a few minutes before Maia yipped at Jax and nipped at his legs. Jax playfully growled at Maia, and she bounded off through the forest. We could tell without looking that Jax was on her trail. I knew I could stay here, present in the moment and enjoy the feel of the wind and experience the wolf. Still, since I had had control of our body for so long, and this was Maia’s first run for so long, I decided to retreat into the dark and allow her to experience this herself. She felt what I was doing straight away.

“Thank you, Harper,” she said in our head, so grateful.

“Just no mating for now, please,” I said, and she laughed

“I know the rules.” It was an unwritten rule that a werewolf mated and completed the bond in human form before wolf form. Werewolves in wolf form are lifetime partners, and it was the ultimate almost unbreakable bond. I smiled and allowed myself to slip into the dark so Maia could have her fun with Jax.

I wasn’t sure how long it was before I was pulled back into my body again. But as soon as I did, I felt exhausted. My whole body ached, and I barely felt myself shifting back to human form before falling asleep again.