BREAKING POINT

“Enjoying life, huh?” asked Penny.

“Not as much as I should. There’s some talk of research work and I may find my self working with a new partner. That will make me a senior, which would be a step up financially”

“I’m glad. You deserve it” said Penny.

He looked at her with an emotion he was trying hard to repress.

“Penny, I want make it clear to you that I’m in good position to look after you and the baby. I know you are worried about being in this alone. I do nothing but think about you. I know the position but he won’t be here before the baby is born, that’s certain ”

Penny turned away. All the old feelings of insecurity and despair shivered through her.

“No. He won’t be here” she said in a low voice.

“Then how about you stay and let me be here for you…. Till Jeremy comes”

She looked at him, her face crimson, her lips trembling.

“Oh God, you would even do that for me? I don’t know what I have done to deserve it”

“That is beside the point. You are worried about being alone. I want to take that away. I hate to see you worried and hurt”

“You are too good to me” Penny said in a choked voice. “But the whole idea is impossible. You are a good person and i couldn’t possibly place you in such a situation even if I wanted to. I have already hurt you and getting so close to you could make things worse. I know it’s scary, but lots of women have babies alone. It’s hard, but they get through it somehow”

“Well you don’t have to do it alone, Penny, and I’m so dammed fond of you, I tell you I’m willing to do anything to make things better for you and the baby”

Now Penny said in a voice of despair : “I’m beginning to see that i have don’t the absolutely wrong thing in not telling Jeremy about the baby”

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“But I didn’t, I didn’t” she moaned and put her face in her hands.

“Then call him or text him and tell him now”.

Joey put a hand on hers and pressed it. “Tell him the position. Be brave, Penny darling”

“No I can’t. I don’t have the courage. I know Jeremy. He would be so furious he would think it’s best to stay away from me for good and all”

“Oh for God’s sake” exclaimed Joey. “if he is as rotten as that, you are best rid of him. You would be better with me. Why the hell can’t you see that?”

“He won’t want the baby…” she was crying now. “I can’t text him about it. Whatever happens i must tell him the truth when we are together… when he comes home. Oh and try to understand, Joey. Oh, Joey, you are so good to me and I’m so mixed up. I can’t bear to go on. If I do, it will only be because of the baby and I’m not going to let you be involved. I won’t. I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you have offered to do ”

He turned her round to face him and at the sight of the tears rolling down her cheeks, the remnants of his control left him. He gathered her into his arms.

“Baby, don’t cry. Please don’t. Penny, baby, my darling. Please don’t. Stop crying honey. Please stop”

She relaxed against his shoulder as the sobs tore and choked inside her. She could taste the salt of the tears mingled with the spray on Joey’s coat. His arms were very comforting and she allowed her weakness to rest against his strength. Then she heard his voice, felt his lips against her hair. She felt something she didn’t quite understand, then realized that this must not happen again… Ever. She drew away slowly, and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Joey held out to her.

“I’m sorry Joey” she said. “I haven’t cried since… Since Jeremy left. Please don’t think I’m ungrateful but it is best for both of us to try and forget all this. Don’t let’s talk about it again, Joey. It’s no good. I just can’t do as you ask. Let me work it out my own way”

“All right, my dear” Joey said quietly. “just remember that i am here whenever you need me. It does my ego a power of good to think you do need me sometimes”

“I need you most of the time” Penny said quickly. “You are wonderful, Joey. I owe you and Audrey so much more than I can ever repay either of you”

“Payment doesn’t come into it”

“You help so tremendously, Joey. You have no idea how much I lean on you. I don’t know what I would have done if you and Audrey hadn’t offered me your home. It does not bear thinking about it”

“Wouldn’t your uncle and aunt have let you stay with them, Penny?”

“I couldn’t stay there” Penny said. “You don’t know them, Joey. They are both quite old now. Aunt Ann was my mother’s eldest sister. Ten years her senior. She and uncle are both Seventy. They would not understand… One can’t expect them to. I love them both dearly and I think my aunt is one of sweetest women I know, but she and uncle are very old fashioned. Such a situation would horrify them. Deep down inside me, it horrifies me too… Sometimes ”

” Try not to think about it too much. It will all come right in the end ”

“That sounds like aunt Ann” Penny said with a smile. “She always quotes wise sayings. I have never known her to be at loss for one suitable to any circumstance. I was brought up on them. I suppose one is never prepared to take anything on trust. One always has to learn in the end by bitter experience”

“Life is a series of experiences” Joey remarked. “If we reacted entirely according to a book of rules, there would be no progress. The only point in life is to learn and, without the incentive to find out things for oneself, one would be of no more use to humanity than a cow”

Penny smiled and rose to her feet.

“This cow needs a cup of tea” she said. “I expect Audrey will be wondering what has happened to us”