BREAKING POINT

“I’m just worried about you” Audrey said, knowing that her friend wasn’t fine as she said. She gazed at table as she spoke. “Joey and I are worried about you. You spend most of your time in here, except when you go for a walk with Howard. And you don’t even paint anymore. I know you have been very hurt, I understand that, but it’s been a month now. You should find a way to move on.”Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

When Audrey stopped speaking and looked up at Penny. She saw that she was sobbing quietly. No longer trying to fold the clothes, but she tossed them carelessly into the drawer. Audrey could almost feel her pain as she watched her, and she had to fight back the tears that clouded her eyes. Penny needed her to be a source of strength for her, and she had to be strong for Penny. She rose up and went to her friend, pulled her into her arms and they sat together on the bed.

“You will be fine. I promise” Audrey murmured as Penny sobbed on her shoulder. “We are here for you. You will find happiness again and soon this won’t hurt anymore. It will be nothing but a memory. It’s the way life is, Penny. Pain is inevitable. But suffering, that’s optional. You can’t control bad things that happen, but you can control how they affect you. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. We have all made mistakes because we fell in love, but we don’t let the bad memories ruin us, we learn from them and move on. But you will be happy again, honey. I know it. I know you will. In time you will see it too”

——————–

“That’s a beautiful painting”

Penny turned around quickly at the sound of the voice and dropped her brush.

“Joey, it’s you” she said, and brought her hand to her chest.

Joey stopped moving and raised his two hands. “Whoa! I’m sorry, Penny” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I actually thought you heard me come in”

“I didn’t. But it’s okay, I just didn’t know you were back from the hospital and my thoughts were just so far away” she stooped to pick up the pen and when she straightened he was by her side.

“Uhm, in that case, Penny for your thoughts?” he asked, grinning at her.

Penny got the joke immediately and smiled back at him and Joey felt his heart clench. It had been six months now since Penny and Jeremy broke up. For the first two months since she returned, Joey watched her try get over the hurt that Jeremy had caused her.

It was not easy for either of them. It had hurt him greatly to see her going through so much pain, and it had hurt even more knowing that there was nothing he could do for her. So he done as Audrey requested. They had both given her time and space to heal, all the while showing her that she had them…. That she was not alone in this.

And as Audrey said, and to his relief he watched Penny get back on her feet. He watched her focus all her attention on little Howard, who was nine months old now. Watched her return to her painting and sketches. She had even resumed taking walks with him. And most times when he would say something and she would throw her head back and laugh so loudly, he would think, ‘Damn, she is beautiful’. He was glad that she was better now…. Honestly he was.

But Joey was still very much in love with Penny…. Loved her even more with each passing day, but he knew that even if Jeremy wasn’t in the picture anymore, Penny still saw him as a friend, and he hated being in the friend zone. Although he was glad that she was better now, his joy wasn’t complete because there was something he knew deep inside him…. He knew she was supposed to be with him. He knew they belonged together.

But he wasn’t sure if this was the right time to bring up the topic of his feelings for her again. Was she ready to date again? He wanted to ask but he was scared of what her reply would be. And if she was ready to date, would she even go for him? Did she even find him attractive? Was she still in love with Jeremy? She never spoke about him. What if she still haboured feelings for him inside her. He knew how much she had loved Jeremy. Would she be able to love him that way?

The many many questions in his head almost drove him crazy.

Right now as he stood beside her and watched as she smiled at him, all he wanted to do was lean down and kiss her. He was seriously thinking about it. What would happen if he did kiss her? Would she push him away and ask him what the hell he was doing, or would she wrap her hands around his neck and pull him closer? God, he hoped it was the latter.

Sometimes he didn’t understand himself. When Penny was still with Jeremy, somehow he was able to keep his feelings for her in check, knowing that he could do nothing about it, but now, for some reason, the feelings had gotten more…. intense.

He had this urge to provide for and protect her and Howard. She wouldn’t get hurt again for any reason, not on his watch. He wanted to look after her and love her. He saw her as family now. She belonged with him.

He lay awake most times thinking about her… Mostly with a hard on. Yes, it had gotten to that point he almost couldn’t control it. He had masturbated a hell of a lot more times than he could recall in recent memory. Each time he reassured himself that he had finally got her out of his system, he would see her or hear that sexy voice of hers in his head, And he’d be rock hard all over again. He knew maybe he shouldn’t think about her in that way but he couldn’t help it.

It was ridiculous how thinking about her made him feel. It was ridiculous how he felt his heart race anytime she was close to him. It was ridiculous how much he had to fight his urge to grab her and kiss her every damn time he was around her. Ridiculous how calling her name while he jacked off in the shower felt so bloody right and hellishly wrong at the same time.