CHASING TROUBLE

“He looks so much like you,” Caroline said softly.

She was right, Nicholas acknowledged, but he said nothing. Caroline gently reached out and carried the sleeping child in her arms, then she turned to him, holding up the baby. “Would you like to hold him?” she asked.

“Of course.” Nicholas replied. But, looking at the baby, he suddenly felt as if he were facing a firing squad. What did he know about babies? He’d never held one before. Nicholas had been an only child, and he’d never exactly been the sort of man to ooh and ah over the children of friends. “How breakable is he?” he asked.

“If you don’t drop him, we won’t find out.” Caroline replied. Then she smiled. “You won’t drop him, so don’t worry.

Here.”

She passed Charlie to him. Feeling nervous, he gathered his child from Caroline’s embrace and held him awkwardly underneath the arms. The baby moved…as if uncomfortable. Having expected something light and noticeably fragile, it was a relief to feel his son’s solidity, even if it did come with additional bounce.

He laughed and met Caroline’s stare again. “He’s beautiful,” he said, awestruck.

“Yes. He is.” said Caroline, then she took a step closer, “No, er…Nick, tuck him closer to you. Under his bum.”

Nicholas tried, but he couldn’t seem to get it right. The baby apparently agreed. Charlie slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Nicholas, then his lower lip started to tremble. He screwed up his face and started to wail.

“I…I seem to be doing this wrong,” Nicholas said, breaking into a cold sweat.

“Don’t take it personally,” Caroline said, “He is just tired and hungry. He’ll soon be right again with a bit to eat.”

But Nicholas could hardly hear her words over their son’s panicked cries. He felt helpless. Useless. A bad father.

“He…I…I’ll come back when he’s not so tired.” He thrust the baby back into her arms and fled.

Or at least he started to, but Caroline called him back, “Nick, wait,” she said gently.

Nicholas stopped and turned to look at them, watching as she cuddled him close and his cries subsided to small whimpers.

“You don’t have to leave. He’s just fussy. You can wait a few minutes and then try again,” she told him.

That made sense, Nicholas thought. The truth was that he did want to try again. He wanted to bond with his child and he didn’t want to give up. Charlie started to whimper again and Caroline snuggled him close. “You’re hungry, aren’t you?” With some hesitation, she looked up, biting her lip. “Nick, I need to feed the baby. Do you mind?”

Nicholas knew exactly what she meant. She wanted him to wait in the living room so she could feed Charlie. Itching for a fight, he sat down on the blue overstuffed sofa, pretending to make himself comfortable. “No, I don’t mind at all.” He indicated the nearby rocking chair.

She stared at him in amazement. “You think I’ll do it in front of you, do you, l?”

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“You’re out of your mind.”

“What? Are you scared?” He raised his eyebrows. “You have no reason to be. I’ve seen everything you have to offer, remember?”

Although that was true, it wasn’t completely true at all. With her loose ponytail, that left tendrils cascading against her skin, she looked very different from the tightly controlled, buttoned-up woman he remembered. And even in the baggy T-shirt she was wearing he could see that her breasts were larger. They’d been perfect. He remembered them well, remembered cupping them in his hands, licking slowly across the full nipples, until she’d moaned and writhed beneath him, making love to them after he’d brought her to climax-twice- with his mouth. What were her breasts like now beneath that shirt?

He suddenly realized that he was rock-hard. He was supposed to torture her, not the other way around. He willed the desire away. He didn’t want her. He didn’t want her.

“Fine. Stay. I don’t care,” she said, although he could tell by the defiant expression on her beautiful face that she cared very much. Grabbing the diaper bag with her free hand, she set it down with a plop on the floor by the cushioned rocking chair. Rummaging through the bag, she pulled out several items before she found a blanket. A small vial fell out and rolled across the floor. He picked it up. The label was in Russian.

“What’s this?”

“Baby painkiller,” she said. “He’s teething.”

“Oh,” he said.

Her fingers seemed clumsy as she used the blue blanket, decorated with safari animals, to cover both baby and breast before she pulled up her T-shirt. The baby’s wails immediately faded to a blissful silence, punctuated with contented gulps.

It shouldn’t have been erotic, but it was. Every movement she made, every breath she took, seemed electric in Nicholas’ overcharged state. He pressed his lips together, remembering how her whole body had trembled whenever they’d kissed. The way she melted into his arms when he’d brushed his lips against hers. Every inch of his skin, every cell of his body tingled with the memory. Remembering love making so hot that it had nearly set the bed on fire.

She glanced up at him now, her eyes so cool and distant. I’m too good for you, her eyes seemed to say. She was a fantasy of ice and fire. He’d never experienced any woman like her.

Watching her now, nursing his son, he came to a sudden decision.

She deserved to suffer for keeping him in the dark. But there was no reason to make himself suffer as well. He would have her in his bed again… Soon.

___________

TWO WEEKS LATER

__________

Caroline got Charlie’s baby carrier out of the car and gently placed him in it, then she began to walk towards the restaurant where she was supposed to meet up with Nicholas.

She was relieved and also impressed that he’d chosen a child friendly restaurant. It meant that he’d paid attention and knowing that she was bringing Charlie, he’d taken the effort to suggest a place people could bring their kids to.

Caroline had made sure Charlie ate to his fill. She’d made sure he was very comfortable and now he was fast asleep and would be for a while so as not to disturb other customers and so she and Charlie could discuss whatever he’d called her there for.