COLD TRAP

MIRABELLAExclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

I lie on my back unmoving as tears blur my vision. I sniffle, gulping down the loud s**b threatening to break out of me because I’m tired of crying. I’m so tired of being pitied,

I’m tired of everything in general.

It has been a month, a month since I returned from the hospital, a month since I last heard from Ares and the worry I feel is killing me.

I’m tom between two worlds. A world where I’m giving my best to come out of the dark place I was pushed into; I want to forget. This past month has been me trying to forget what happened to me, but with each passing minute of everyday, a small part of my memory of the event of that night is unlocked and it kills me each time.

It’s driving me insane.

And then there’s a part of me which strongly believes that Ares has been caught up in a dreadful situation.

I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to him because of me.

The list of my troubles never ends.

One more thing on that list would be Matteo, G**d, that man drives me out of my mind. In the last month, he made certain to avoid me like a plague, made sure we didn’t cross paths and when we did, he didn’t as much as spare me a glance.

It hurts but I have a solace.

In the past month, Matteo would always sneak into my room at odd hours of the night; during the times when he believed me to be asleep. He wouldn’t touch me, neither would he say a word, he’d lay absolutely still beside me for hours with his eyes heavy on me as though searching for something and then he’d up and leave.

I don’t know what to believe anymore with Matteo so I made the decision not to concern myself with him.

He’ll come around when he’s ready to have that conversation he’s desperately running from.

“Excuse me ma’am,” Beth announces, walking into the room, gaining my come outside as he’d love your session for the day held outdoors.”

y attention. “Your therapist is here and he has requested that you

I heave out a sigh of relief, grinning from ear to ear. “My therapist?” I ask with raised eyebrows, “Ares?”

She nods, “yes ma’am. Mr. Ares.”

I nod at her in approval and she begins helping me into the wheelchair before muttering, “Mr. Matteo called the hospital to demand that your p**h**therapist be changed. He aired his discomfort about having any man around you.”

I chuckle.

That controlling, possessive, overbearing son of a b**h.

“Tell him I said that he can take his request and shove it up his a**.” I answer in a monotone and Beth chuckles nervously whilst giving me a look of “you cannot possibly be serious about that.

“Fine, I’ll write you a note” She hums.

12:19 Sat Jun

L

“Ares!” I squeal. “I was worried sick about youl Where were you?”

Ares flashes me a warm smile as he loads up the car with flowers, “I missed you too sweetheart.” He snickers, gaining a snorted laugh from

me.

He helps me into the car and I ask, “why are there so many flowers?”

“We’re going to see your father in-law and since the garden was his favorite place, I thought to bring him lots of flowers. Every kind of it”

My face contorts in displeasure. “I don’t want to go there. I cannot bring myself to go there. I feel so guilty.”

He chuckles without an ounce of humor.

“Yes you’re going, Mirabella. It’s time for you to get out of your comfort zone and since you do not wish to help yourself, I’ll make sure to give you all the help you need even if I have to force it down your throat.” He affirms before slamming the car door shut and speeding through the

estate.

“Say something to him Mirabella, hmm?” Ares rubs my back in a circular motion in an attempt to soothe me.

We’ve been here over thirty minutes and I still cannot get any words out of my mouth. What do I say? How do I say them? How do I overcome the weight of the guilt that I feel so heavily in my heart?

“I’m sorry.

“I’m so so sorry.”

I begin chanting the words in a hushed murmur as tears brim my eyes

“Mi dispiace papà,” cold shivers run down my spine as tears escape rope after rope from my eyes. “All I had to do was listen. If I had listened and obeyed your instructions then maybe, just maybe the situation would be different.”

My palms rub vigorously against my face. “Your son is suffering, your wife is suffering and Julia too. Everything is so different and lifeless without you…I’m so sorry for being the reason.”

I don’t know how but I completely lose control of myself to a point where I don’t even realize the words that are coming out of my mouth.

“I’m stupid. I’m useless. I’m disgusting and used up. Papát I’m so tired!”

I mumble incoherent words.

“I’m so tired,” I drawl. “Someone help me. I need help. Can someone pull me out? I’m so tired! I don’t know how much longer I can hold on

for

My lips quiver. “That night is all I think about papa. I begged! I swear I begged and I cried and I tried to run and I even told them not to hurt my baby but they didn’t listen! They used me up and left nothing behind. Look at me now! I’m unable to walk! I don’t like this anymore. I’m asking is for someone to help me!”

Tears blur my vision but I’m able to see Ares kneeling in front of me, large arms snaking the middle of my back, my head resting on his shoulder as I sob some more..

He soothes me gently and patiently und I’m able to collect myself. His tone too calm and cold as he speaks. “The doctor said you could walk

if you will yourself to. Have you made an attempt at that? Hmm? Mirabella? Nobody can help you until you choose to help yourself so if you’re tired of sitting down, get up and walk.”

After hours of talking to father’s grave, Ares wheels me back into the car and we head home.

We arrive at the estate after a few hours and as I’m being wheeled into the mansion, I zone out completely, Pablo’s and Ares’s words echoing in my head repeatedly.

“If you’re tired of sitting down, get up and walk.”

“My body healed but my mind remained scarred.”

“It was no longer the scar of the body but of the heart,”

“Nobody can help you until you choose to help yourself.”

I blink a few times, my mouth dropping open as continuous gasps elicit my throat.

I look up at the direction of Matteo’s office window and find him staring down at me intently with furrowed brows.

I swallow and blink again.

“What I’m saying in essence is that you can cry all you want, hate the situation all you want and it’s normal that you do because it was a

think those f**s ruined terrible thing what happened to you but do not hold onto it too long hence, you ruin yourself even more than you

you”

I look down at my hands, watching as my fingers tremble uncontrollably. “Ares…”A whispery gasp slips my lips.

“I need you to wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re strong, you’re powerful, you’re beautiful…

“Ares…” another whispery sound, followed by a gasp.

“Your recovery is solely based on your mind, up here.”

“You will your mind to recover and your body will have no choice but to obey”

“Ares!” I yell out, causing Ares to abruptly stop. “Take me to the garden.” I demand.

“What? Are you sure?” I nod twice and he does.

he all the way to the part of the garden that holds the despicable memories of the event of that night.

Ares takes me all

I choke, thrashing my head as my eyes dart rapidly, tears streaming down my face.

“No…please…help me!”

“Get her up! She wants to scream? Let her scream!”

“Please…”

“So this is the Don’s wife?”

I shake my head in an attempt to shake off the memory as my chest constricts from the lack of air. “It was just a bad day.” I murmur whilst

digging my fingers into my scalp..

“It was just a bad day!” My left leg jerks up. “I’ll speak about myself correctly…” Tears pool out of my eyes as my left leg painfully slides off the leg rest of my wheelchair, landing on the ground.

I release a painful grunt, my breath shaky and ragged as more tears spew from my eyes.

I will my right leg to move. “I’m not broken! I’m strong! I’m powerfull I’m an amazing woman!”

Tears.

Pain.

My right leg lands on the ground as well and both my hands grip the armrest of the wheelchair as I attempt lifting myself off.

I look over at Ares, courage and pride coursing through my bloodstreams when he nods at me reassuringly with a look of pride in his eyes.

“I won’t stay down any longer.”

Tears.

Whimpering.

“I survived! You all wanted to bury me six feet under but here I am! Still as strong and beautifull as ever!”

I don’t care that I don’t believe the words that are coming out of my mouth, but I care that the more I say them, the more courageous they

make me.

“It was just a bad day you stupid **s! You put hands on the wrong person! How dare you all! I’m standing! Shame on you! I am standing

tall!”

My wobbly legs s move on their own accord, causing me to stumble but I’m quick to catch myself.

My laughter hysteria as I throw my head back. “fottuti bastardil”

Ares is standing in front of me in a matter of seconds and I don’t wait a second before throwing my arms around him. “I’m doing it Ares…I’m really doing it” I sob into his chest.

“Yes, you are and I’m so proud of you.”

I nod.

More tears.

ey didn’t break me. I’m standing tall. Gesu! Ares I went through a lot, you know that?”

“They

He nods, his fingers stroking my hair gently,

“I went through a whole lot. Lost my baby, almost lost my life, lost my husband but I’m here, right? I’m doing it. I’m doing great, right?”

A shuddered breath wracks through him. “Of course. You’re amazing.” He affirms.

“I am.” I drawl. “I really am.” A humorous chuckle escapes my throat. “I’m so f**g amazing!” I throw my head back in laughter and Ares does the same.

I and Ares hold each other that way without uttering a word. The silence is as comforting as can be but there’s something stirring in my

system.

Him.

Matteo.

He’s here.

I can feel his eyes burning through my skin and I can smell him very strongly,

There’s no mistaking his cologne.

I subtly tip my head to the side and those dangerously intimidating hazel eyes lock with mine, gaining a loud, startled gasp from me.

kes an attempt to break the hug but I hug him tighter with my eyes still fixated on Matteo’s.

“Are you okay?” Ares asks as he makes an

tay the way you are.”

“I’m fine. Just stay

Matteo stares at me with a face void of emotions. Only his gaze is somewhat soft when it’s on me but extremely dangerous when it’s on Ares. And I can only imagine the audacity of this man, thinking that he’d lay claims to me after he left me alone to pull through this all on my own.

Possessive, idiotic bastard.

“Ares?” He hums, “please take me inside. And inform the maids that I’d like to move back into my room upstairs.” He hums and does as he’s told

I feel reborn.

Anew.

Like a whole new life is waiting for me.

Ares succeeded in wrecking havoc in Russia which gives our organization more chance at fame.

I’m able to stand on my feet and in no time, I’m certain I’d be running around like a one year old who just learnt to walk,

I cannot wait for this next chapter to begin for me.

曲

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