Falling For The Man I Married

Chapter 62: The claws of the truth

I went home that night carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've never felt so numb in my entire life not even when I found out that my father has his first family and that we're just his second, or when I learned that we don't have the same mother with my siblings, or even when I realized that I can't have a whole family that I dreamed of like every other child would like to have.

The pain I felt when he threw the bomb in front of me was incomparable to what I felt when I was still young. When I was bullied and everyone treated me like trash. Because with what he said, it felt like poison to my blood. It was killing me slowly but surely. It made me think of my worth that no matter what I try to do, I can never be enough. I can't have him and I will never be able to call him mine.

He will never be mine.

My mind was screaming and my heart was wailing inside my rib cage and I hate it when my mind was telling me to stop loving him, but my stubborn heart couldn't let go of those stupid feelings. I couldn't breathe and couldn't think straight in those past few days.

I was like the girl who I was just watching in a drama series who seemed to be happy on the outside, telling jokes, smiling, having fun but what everybody didn't know, I was dying on the inside. They didn't realize that I was hurt and tired at the same time. Tired of not being good enough, and tired of being just the second choice.

But honestly, I don't want them to know about my pain. I don't want them to think I'm weak, and an attention-seeker, so I'm keeping it all inside. Playing the role of being the best actress and acting like everything's okay and perfect, especially in front of him, but cries every night asking the stars and the whole universe how to stop and kill the pain I have inside.

It's been a week since he broke the shocking news to me and since then I've been trying to distance myself from him just to breathe. I don't know if I'll stay with him and help him with his plan or stay away like what my friends always tell me.

There were lots of happenings in these past seven days and one of them was when Noelle and Sandy tried to cheer me up, so they asked me to come with them to the mall and have some girly moments. But to my one of a shity day, I encountered the queen of the bitch inside of one of the boutiques.

Stacey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NôvelDrama.Org (C) content.

Flashback...

"Ohh... hi, Madi."

I turned to see who greeted me and my eyebrow automatically knew its way up.

"Are you shopping?" she asked, smirking.

I sneered. "Nope, I'm honestly trying to find some cure and ailment for someone's itchiness... which I have heard now needs to be scratched."

"Oh, Madi... Madi... Madi.. tsk.tsk.tsk." she said shaking her head. "Don't you think I don't know the truth?"

I scrunched my eyebrows. What truth is she talking about?

"That Gabriel married you just to make me jealous and get me back."

I laughed at her, even though deep inside, she had pressed my already injured heart.

"And who told you that bullshit idea?"

"It's not really important. What important is that I already knew the truth, so you can stay away now with my Gabi."

I suddenly felt my temper rising to my head.

"And who are you to tell me that bullshit idea? I am the wife! I am the legal wife, so just keep your nonsense thoughts in your shity mouth! And whoever told you that lies, for sure he or she has enormous envy with us for doing such a thing!"

"Lies? Are you sure that's just lies? Because if it's true, then why did Gabriel always following me everywhere I went? He kept calling me and asking me if I'm okay like in the old days? And why did he choose to stay with me than to be with you almost every night?"

I gulped, forming my fists. I wanted to punch her shity face... if she's not just pregnant.

"And may I add.. why aren't you got pregnant, if you're saying you're the real wife?"

I gasped with her last question.

"Why did Gabriel choose to give me his time? And oh, look at me! Yes, I'm not the wife, but I'm the pregnant one." she proudly stated before giving me her demonic laugh.

"Oh, really, you're pregnant? Who can tell if that's Gabriel's child or not?"

"What are you talking about?" her laugh died as she started to glare at me.

-'Now it's my turn to laugh at you... bitch!'-

"Like I said.. who knows if that's Gabriel's baby? I mean, knowing you the shity-bitch who opened her legs to everyone. What are you a canteen or a restaurant which is always open to those who want to eat? To eat something fishy between your legs?"

"How dare you------" she tried to slap me like in our first encounter in the restroom of their friends' event, but I caught her hand before it landed on my face.

"I told you, don't you ever put your filthy hand on my face. It's eww, and I have no alcohol here to clean and kill your bacteria!"

She took her hand out of my grasp.

"And never give me an excuse that you're pregnant not to slap your face and push you hard on the floor because I don't 'fucking care! Stay away from my husband!"

And then I walked towards the entrance of the boutique, but then I remembered one thing. I turned around and went back to where she was.

"I'll say it for the last time--- stay away from my husband! Back off unless you want your next period to come out of your nose! Oops, you're pregnant... I forgot! Let's rephrase my sentence... 'Back off unless you want your baby to come out of your nose instead of your pussy!"

She gasped with my last words, but I left her in that state and walked out of the boutique.

End of flashback...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And earlier, I got a call from Greg. At first, I was reluctant to answer it because knowing Greg, he'll just become like Sandy and Noelle when he knows about what happened. But in the end, I decided to answer to take his call. He said he wanted us to meet, have a casual talk. Eat somewhere and then go home, and I agreed.

I drove to the coffee shop he said and since Gabriel was nowhere to be found inside the house, I decided to leave a message outside my bedroom door. I didn't bother to call or send him a message because I don't want him to know where I am going. I don't want him to reply and ask me who I'm going to meet and what time I'm going home.

I saw Greg sitting at the side of the coffee shop next to the glass panel. I smiled and walked over to him.

"Greg,"

He immediately got up when he noticed me in front of him.

"Madi," he smiled and pulled me into a tight hug. He also kissed my forehead which he has always done since college.

"Sit down," he said pulling the chair for me.

"Thank you,"

"What do you want to eat?" he asked once he's already seated.

"No, thanks, but I'm full."

"Nope! You will eat unless you want to order all the cakes that they sell and make you pay for them all, including this one."

I gasped at what he said and he even pointed the piece of cake in front of him.

"I hate you, Greg Anderson!" I said, giggling.

"So, you'd better pick a good choice. Will you eat or pay for all of their pastries?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Why don't you just let me buy the whole store?"

"Oh, that's a good idea! Wait, I'm gonna talk to the owner," he said getting up and I glared at him.

"Greg!"

"Why? I know you can buy the whole store!" he returned to his seat and laughed at me

"Fine! I'm going to order now! Happy?" I playfully narrowed my eyes on him.

"Very happy! That's my girl!"

I rolled my eyes when he winked at me.

When the waiter put my orders in front of me, I almost drool at the smell of chocolate oreo cake.

"Hmm.." I closed my eyes when my nose hit the smell of the delicious aroma of my chocolate latte and the cake in front of me.

I heard him chuckle from across the table. "No... I'm still full." I glared at him when he mimicked my words earlier.

But I just huffed and ignored him. I was in the middle savoring my oreo cake when he opened his mouth again.

"How are you, Madi?"

My mouth stopped munching the cake as I looked at him.

"I'm fine," I simply answered and took a sip of my latte.

"I can see it. I can see it clearly," he said seriously as he leaned back in his seat.

"Greg..."

"Don't you think I don't know the truth, Madi?"

"Greg... I - I ---"

"Did he tell you the truth about Stacey?"

I sighed. I knew this would happen once I agreed to meet him. And I don't even have to ask him where he got the news.

"Yes,"

I looked down and continued to eat. It's my favorite flavor so I'm not going to stop eating just because I'm upset at hearing the bitch's name.

"So how did you accept the truth--- just like that?"

"Can I eat this first? Or do you want to pay for all the cakes they sell here? It's not a problem with me going home with a lot of cakes in my car."

And that worked. He stopped talking but started laughing.

"Then go eat faster," he said shaking his head.

I smiled but it didn't reach my ears.

When I finished, he repeated his question looking me directly in the eye.

"How did you accept the truth when he told you about Stacey's condition?"

I shrugged. "Hmm... the way you think I supposed to accept it. Be cool and relax."

"Madi?"

"Greg, I'm not in a position to question him about his plan. I was just helping him--- I am just helping him and I don't have the right to ask him, because I'm just his fake wife." I took the glass of latte and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Madi, has anyone told you that you're the most terrible actress of the century?"

"Ouch!" I faked my hurt expression outside, but actually, it hit me inside.

"You can lie to them, but not to me. Your eyes tell exactly the pain you are going through."

I bit my bottom lip, avoiding his gaze.

"Madi, why don't you let go?"

I looked at him with tears forming around my eyes. I hate this topic and the question as well. 'why don't you let go?' 'why don't you leave him?'

"It's not easy, Greg."

"Even when you are in pain? Even he's now being unfair and causing you so much pain? Why don't you get out of your marriage, Madi? Think of yourself first."

"I - I don't know how, Greg."

He took my hand on top of the table and put a white handkerchief over it. I smiled bitterly.

"You know what, it hurts to see that the one you really love, loves someone else. I experienced it eight years ago... until now."

"Greg...." I held his hand as tears blurring my vision. I know what he's talking about.

"But you know what hurts the most? It's when you found out you were just their bridge to cross over to their loved ones."

A loud sob escaped from my throat. The pain of the truth is unbearable. Its claws were digging into my heart... ripping and tearing it apart. I wish I could turn the table and turn back the time. I wish I could

teach my heart to love this man in front of me who is always there for me, even he knows that I am crying for another man and not for him.