Finding Forgiveness

“You’ve met Andrea. He’s ruthless. He doesn’t have a single hint of mercy. If he realises you are trying to outsmart him, he will kill Cato without hesitation,” I replied. “I know that you aren’t used to following other people’s orders but this time, we don’t have a choice.”

“There’s nothing I can say or do to stop you is there?” he asked with a sigh.

“No,” I replied quietly.

“When Cato is safe, I’ll come for you,” he said. “And if you are already gone, Andrea will die. For real this time.”

“That’s if I haven’t killed him first,” I replied.

“Death seems to good for home,” Leo said. “I’d rather-”

“Leo,” I interrupted in a stern tone as I realised what he was insinuating. “I didn’t spend years trying to install morals in you for them to disappear the second I leave. Don’t stoop to his level whether you think he deserves it or not. Doing more than is necessary to end his life is immoral. Remember that.”

“Nothing like a lecture about treating the literal devil with morality,” he said. “You’re too good for your own good, Ella.”

“Just promise me that if I’m not there to keep you in shape, you won’t slip back to your old self, Leo,” I said. “Please.”

“I promise. But you are coming back,” he replied. “You’re a cockroach, remember? No one can kill you.”

“Yeh, I’m a survivor,” I agreed.

He laughed a little before sniffing his own tears back.

“We’re about to take off,” I said. “I have to go.”

“Call me when you land, okay?” he said. “I can’t say goodbye yet.”

“But just in case, I love you, Leo,” I said more tears falling down my cheeks.

“I love you too,” he replied before I had to hang up.

I couldn’t deal with anymore for fear of running off the plane and straight back to him. I wiped the tears off away before leaning against the window as we were all told to turn out phones on aeroplane mode.

Shortly after, we began moving along the runway. I noticed what looked like a security car speed up to the plane and a couple of security officers pile out. Leo must have had something to do with that but they? were too late, we were gone.

With the relief of a successful escape, I closed my eyes and le the powerful effects of the pill take over.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

Hours later, I awoke to the sound of the plane thudding on the runway. I bolted up right from the shock of the rude awakening and looked around me to see all the other passengers excitedly awaiting their vacation to Mexico, or getting ready for a boring business trip, or thrilled to be visiting their families.

Not me. I wasn’t in for nearly such a fun time. As soon as we were allowed to turn our phones off aeroplane mode, I called Leo.

“I’ve landed,” I said as I followed the busy crowd off the plane. “Am I going to have trouble with security here? I saw a car of officers try to stop the plan which I don’t doubt you were behind.”

“I tried but unfortunately it’s difficult to pay off security already paid off by Andrea Martinez,” he replied with a sigh. “You won’t be stopped anywhere in Mexico by the police. So what’s your plan?”

“Andrea, texted me his number. I’m going to call him,” I replied.

“So you’re just going to go along with it?”

“I figured that that is best. I don’t want to risk provoking him,” I explained.

“Ella Jones. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. Why couldn’t you ever go along with what I said?” he questioned.

I laughed before sitting on a bench just before passport control.

“Because you don’t have a gun.”

There was a breath moment of silence.

“Leo?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“I was. Very. You ignored my orders and as a result, I may never have my mate again and my kids may never have their mother again but I can’t be mad anymore. They threatened our kid and nothing is going to stop you saving him. I get that but fucking hell I’ll miss you. I miss you when I leave the same room as you. I don’t know how I would cope with forever,” he replied.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be sorry,” he replied. “Don’t you dare.”

“I’ll do everything I can to stay alive. If I don’t give him a reason to kill me, he’d rather I was alive too, right?” I asked thinking back to how fond of me (my body in particular) he was.

“I can’t bear the thought of that either, Ells,” he replied after a while in a broken voice. “Him using you for that sort of thing.”

“But you’d rather that than him killing me, yes?” I asked.

“Yes,” he stated.

“Promise me that you’ll take care of the kids,” I said a tear running down my cheek.

“Of course, Ella. Of course, of course.”

“And yourself. Miss me for a little while and then move on okay? I don’t want you to suffer forever. Find a way to be happy again. Whether that’s with someone else or whatever. I don’t care, just be happy. And make sure my Mom is okay too. She’s already lost Connor, this will tear her apart,” I explained.

“You’ll survive this, Ells. I know you will. Just like a cockroach,” he replied. “And I’ll come for you. I promise.”

“Are you ready to say goodbye yet?” I asked watching as the queue for passport control quickly died down and I was the only one left in the waiting area.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

“What about a goodbye for now?” I questioned. “We’ll meet again, Leonardo. I’m sure of it.”

Tears were now streaming down my face.

“Well until then?” he said. I was sure he shared my tears. I could hear it in his voice.

“Until then,” I whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied before he hung up and I was left all alone in the room.

I clutched my phone to my chest and screwed up my face desperately trying to hold in a howl.

Instead, it escaped in broken sobs and patchy cries as I gasped for oxygen.

Why is it that you don’t realise the extent of your love for someone until you don’t have them anymore?

I don’t think I could have loved him anymore.