Chapter 57
Taking my clothes off and finding the white box Rafael had mentioned was easy, but following his directions was not. My self-control is put to the test as I battle between following Rafael’s command or not.
Part of me wants to disobey, but something tells me to keep my hands to myself and wait, so I spend the next however many minutes tossing and turning in bed.
Rafael takes his sweet time in the barn, which only floods my body with more adrenaline. I’ve had enough partners to know what I like in the bedroom, but I have a feeling Rafael is going to put those ideas to the test, starting with whatever the hell is in the white box.
It can’t be bigger than a shoebox and weighs about the same as a pair of boots. I thought it could be the vibrator from my search history, but I’m starting to have doubts.
Special lube? A set of butt plugs? Maybe some anal beads or nipple clamps?
My mind goes wild, thinking up all the possibilities until a door slams in the distance. The hairs on my arms stand up, and my skin tingles at the sound of footsteps. Goose bumps spread across my arms as I pull at the sheet and readjust my position on the bed.
My heart outpaces Rafael’s heavy feet stomping up the stairs, although I can hardly hear him stepping inside the room over the sound of the blood rushing to my ears.
“You didn’t take a peek inside?” He pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor before yanking off his shorts. He stands in front of me in nothing but a pair of briefs that do little to hide his erection.
“Did you look inside?” he enunciates each word.
I shake my head hard.
“Are you sure?” He presses one knee onto the bed, followed by the other. The mattress dips under his weight as he crawls over my body.
“I wanted to, but I didn’t.”
“That’s my girl.”
I never knew how much I wanted to be his girl until he said it. My heart goes into a spiral, the beats climbing so fast that I become concerned about my cardiac health.
He kisses me hard then. No precursor or warning glance. No teasing, biting, or longing stares at my mouth. Just his lips crushing against mine until the whole world goes dark behind my eyelids.
Our mouths fuse together, and my thoughts scatter until I’m only thinking about him. He breaks away at one point to get rid of the sheet between us, but his mouth is back on mine in seconds like he never left.
The way Rafael kisses me is almost as addictive as the way his fingers roam over my body.
His touch is comforting yet possessive at the same time, and I’ve never felt more cherished than I do as he crawls backward until he is positioned between my legs.
He brushes his hands over my thighs with such softness, it makes me feel precious. Like he will spend the rest of my life showing me how he finds me a masterpiece.
Not broken, like I had once labeled myself, but loved.
He may not have said those three big important words yet, and I don’t expect him to anytime soon, but I can tell by looking into his eyes that he is feeling it.
And so am I.
My chest warms as he takes his time drawing my pleasure out. Rafael drives me to the brink of madness with his tongue only to yank me back from the edge multiple times before I’m writhing beneath him, begging for him to do something.
“Make. Me. Come,” I say between heavy pants, and he grins up at me.
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“You’re a fucking tease.”
He chuckles before sucking on my clit hard enough to dull my vision. My cry for him is rewarded, and he plunges his fingers inside me. I push his head down, keeping him right there while his fingers pump into me at a punishing pace.
His head is trapped between my thighs, and they apply enough pressure to keep him in place until he finally curls his fingers and presses on my clit to make me come.
My pleasure is a wave, rolling through me in a rush of warmth. Rafael doesn’t stop touching me until my body finally goes lax underneath him.
I can hardly hear anything over my heavy breathing, but the telltale sign of a condom wrapper ripping piques my interest.
“I thought you got a vasectomy.”
“I did.” A look passes over his face, and I hate that I’m the reason for it in the first place.
If he wants to be extra cautious about not having any children, that’s fine. I don’t blame him after his last incident with an accidental pregnancy.
Instead of asking him any more questions, I slide off the bed and grab the condom from his hand. He begins to protest, but the words die on his tongue as I get down on my knees in front of him.
Never in a million years did I imagine I would be kneeling in front of someone I once had a crush on, looking up at him while he stares down at me with hooded eyes and a smirk that could put the devil’s to shame.
“Mi belleza.” He cradles my cheek affectionately, and I melt into his touch before his fingers slide through my hair.
I lean forward and plant a kiss on his thigh. His muscles strain, so I repeat the same thing on his other leg, earning a little sharp inhale this time.
Mi belleza: My beauty.
I drag my finger across his thigh, stopping as I get closer to his straining cock.
After he went down on me in the barn loft, we had a talk about how long it’s been for him.
Two years.
“And you call me a fucking tease.” His gravelly voice makes my body pulse.
With a smile, I wrap my lips around the head and suck. He jerks forward with a curse, and I can’t help laughing at him apologizing for accidentally gagging me.
“I’m fine.” I brush my hands down his thighs before I part my lips again, flatten my tongue, and slide as much as I possibly can of his cock into my mouth.
His thighs tremble as I slowly pull back, flicking my tongue across his stiff length. His nails scrape at my scalp, but he never forces me to speed up. Never tries to gag me or switch to a new punishing tempo.
If anything, he tugs on my hair in a silent request for me to slow down. At this rate, the poor man may come before he ever has a chance to slip inside me.
“Elle,” he rasps when I wrap my fingers around him and pump. His salty essence seeps from his tip and coats my tongue, so I swallow, which earns me a hiss.
He steps away, and I release him with a pop. He yanks me onto my feet and swipes the condom wrapper from my hand before placing me on the edge of the bed.
With a light shove, I fall backward with a laugh while he sheaths his cock.
This is it, I tell myself.
High school me might have enjoyed this, but nothing compares to grown-up me who can not only appreciate Rafael the man but also Rafael as a lover, protector, and friend.
I’m glad we didn’t cross paths until now because I wouldn’t have gotten to know the real him, and the thought of that never happening makes my chest hurt. Rafael is everything I could ever want in a partner, and now he is mine.
I’ll wait however long it takes for him to feel the same because he is worth it.
He pushes my thighs apart, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he presses his body against mine and kisses me. One hand cups my cheek while the other reaches between us for his cock.
There is a slight pressure as he pushes inside me, and his body trembles over mine as he slides deeper. His kiss becomes more desperate, and my lips tingle when he finally sinks all the way.
We both still, and a wave of happiness washes over me. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so content—so complete.
Rafael trembles as his eyes screw shut and his chest rises with his deep breaths.
“If you come first, I’m going to be really mad at you.”
“Good girls always come first. I promise.” He traces my bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.
He regains control over himself and pulls out slowly. His hands brush down the sides of my thighs and the tattoos of stars as he slides back inside. Once. Twice. Three times, and then I stop counting.
I lose track of time, space, and my very own name, gasping and moaning as he continues torturing my body with his slow pumps.
“You are the one I never knew I needed.” He pauses after saying it, and I do too.
Our eyes meet as a wall around his heart comes crumbling down.
His fingers dig into my hips as he pulls out. “I may not be the one you envisioned for yourself, but I won’t stop until I feel like I’m worthy of you.”
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t cry, but fuck, when he talks like that, I’m not sure I can control it. Still, I rally, focusing on the sensations in my lower half as much as the ones in my heart.
Rafael doesn’t fuck me. No. He takes his time, whispering sweet praises into my ear in between kisses that leave me breathless. Every stroke is a promise, and every touch is an oath.
He will take care of me.
He will love me when I struggle to love myself.
And he is the one I was waiting for this whole time.
With a pinch of my clit, my whole world shatters. The pleasure rocks me to my very core, and the world fades around me.
His pumps never stop. Not even after he finally comes with a shout. Watching Rafael come undone must be the sexiest sight I’ve ever witnessed, and I lock the memory away.
Eventually, despite his best efforts to stay upright, his body gives out, and he lies down on top of me.
I brush my hand through his damp hair and say, “You’re the one I was always meant to find.”
He wraps his arms around me and squeezes, as if to tell me he feels the same. He may not say it, but I know he does.
And that’s good enough for me.
I start to nod off only for my eyes to snap open when I have a thought. “I just realized something.”
Rafael grumbles against the top of my head.
“You never showed me what was in the box.”
His chest vibrates from quiet laughter.
“What?”
“Nothing important. I was buying myself some time to wrap up with the kittens.”
My mouth falls open.
“What did you think was in there?” he asks.
I fake a snore, only to have him shake me.
“Tell me.”
I sneak a peek at him. “A vibrator?”
His deep, dark laugh tells me it isn’t the end of this conversation.