Love’n’Lust

A few minutes later, his assistant returned to his office but he didn’t stop what he was doing before she walked back in.

“Sir, I know you asked me to cancel all your appointments but I just went through it again and you planned to see…” Ben stopped typing and set his eyes on her like before, making her keep shut suddenly.

“You seem to be tired of your job lately.” He told her but she shook her head in disagreement. She wasn’t tired of her job, she just had to tell him something important.

Jenna was here to see him so she wanted to know if to tell her that Mr Larkson didn’t want to be disturbed. The last time she told Jenna that he was too busy to see her, he wasn’t happy about it.

“I just want to let you know that…” Jenna walked in before the assistant could mention her name.

“You were taking so long, I had to let myself in.” She told the assistant then came to sit on one of the chairs opposite Ben.

“Leave,” Ben told his assistant and watched her walk out the door hurriedly.”You didn’t let me know you would be coming here.” He gave his attention to Jenna, closing his laptop.

“I decided to take proper protocol and fix an appointment with you,” she told him with a smile before setting her purse down on his desk.”Are you okay?” She decided to ask when she noticed that he hadn’t smiled since she walked in.

“I’m not,” he replied honestly, as always.

“The company?”

“No.”

“Wow,” Jenna expressed her surprise, amazed to find out that it wasn’t the company issues making his mood sour. Her mind immediately went to someone.”Belle?” She asked and heard him sigh.

“Yes.”

“What happened? Is she okay?” Jenna became scared for her because the last time Ben was this worried over her, she was missing.

“She is.”

“What then?” Jenna asked but didn’t get an immediate response, she just heard him sigh again.

“I can’t just get her out of my mind since last night,” he tapped on his desk lightly as he started to speak.”I try to imagine what it would be like if she leaves, and I can’t because somehow, I’ve woven her into my life so tightly that I don’t want her to leave.”

“Leave? Was there a relationship? Were you…?”

“No.” He answered her questions before she could ask them all.

“You said ‘leave’, I thought you meant she was leaving the secret relationship you both had.”

“There wasn’t a secret relationship. It was supposed to be a sexual adventure with her, nothing more, but now she says she is done, ‘done’, I can’t let that be.”

“Ben, you don’t just expect that things would go on between you both and no one would catch feelings.”

“We talked about it, I told her what I wanted from her.” He made sure to mention.

“Did she agree to it?” This question had him silent for some seconds.

“Not verbally, but she didn’t object to all we’ve been doing.”

“Of course, she didn’t object, it’s you; girls are crazy for you. She’s probably gotten over your charm and doesn’t want to…”

“You don’t understand, Jenna.”

“What don’t I understand? She has the right to stop whatever you two were having.”

“I know she does but…” He paused his words and slouched on his office chair, sighing simultaneously.”I don’t want her to.”

Jenna watched him confess. It was the first time she was seeing her cousin brother this down for a woman.

“Why?” Jenna asked him.

‘Why?’ Ben replayed her one-word question in his head. Why did he not want to let Belle go? He didn’t know, but he knew he wanted her more than he had ever wanted any other woman in the past.

“Do you love her?” Jenna asked again but saw his eyes squint with a silent no.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

“It’s not love, Jenna. Not everything is about love.” She heard him say conceitedly; she knew before now that his pride wouldn’t even let him a chance to consider that he was in love.

“So you don’t love her?”

“I don’t.”

“What then do you want from her? Just sex? Did you really think she would permit that till whenever you wanted?”

“It’s not just sex, Jenna, her body? Her body is…”

“I don’t want to hear any of that,” Jenna stopped him before he could describe how beautiful he thought her body was.

“I don’t think another would be able to pleasure me like she. She can’t leave.”

“What if she wants to? It’s not like you could stop her.”

“I can, and I will.” He told his sister. He would stop her, he planned to.

****

Late evening.

Belle left the office of her new boss, sighing as she could finally leave. Unlike Mrs. Johnson, editor Khan liked to work overtime.

She stood outside the building, hoping it hadn’t become too late for a taxi to show up. Standing there while tapping her feet, she remembered that she hadn’t gotten a call or text from Ben.

She knew he wasn’t a texter but she expected he would want to know how she was doing since last night.

‘Why would he do that? Get your mind off it, he doesn’t love you, he has told you that himself.’ Her inner self cautioned her thoughts. She sighed. Brie was right, he didn’t care. He wasn’t even giving her a call to ignore to show that she wanted to avoid him.

A car pulled up in front of her. She wanted it to be Ben but knew it wasn’t him. It was Nathan’s car.

She saw him get out of the driver’s side and go round the car to get to where she stood so he could open the door for her. Belle hesitated for a moment before sitting in the car.

“I have been waiting so I could drop you off,” she heard him say as soon as he started to drive. Her previously tired eyes turned surprised. Dumbfounded, she said nothing.

“How was today with Khan?” She heard himself and knew now, that he just wanted to have a conversation with her.

“Stressful.” She admitted.

“He’s quite a workaholic,” Nathan smiled.”Do you want me to talk to him, to cut you off some stress?”

“No. Please don’t do that.” She didn’t want what happened with Mrs Johnson repeated.

It went quiet again after her words. Nathan got to the front of Brie’s apartment building and stopped the car.

“Thanks,” Belle made sure to say before alighting from his car. She got his smile in response.

She walked towards the entrance and stopped when it felt like she just saw a familiar sight. Taking a few steps back, she turned her neck and saw that she was right, Ben was there.

It had to be him because there was no other reason why there would be new-looking cars parked on a street like hers. He probably came with a convoy.

She smiled, involuntarily. It was an automatic smile, just thinking of him and knowing that he came but her smile stopped. She wondered what he was doing here at Brie’s place because he knew where she worked and what time she was officially allowed to leave work so he could have come to get her there not here.

She immediately started up the stairs. The door to Brie’s apartment was locked, but it didn’t surprise her much, she knew both Brie and Cherry weren’t back from work yet.

She took out the keys and tried opening the door but her hands were shaky. She paused and took in a deep breath, before attempting to put the key through the keyhole again and succeeded.

She threw open the door and saw Ben sitting there, in the living room, on the couch, his legs crossed and his eyes fixed on her like he was expecting her to walk in that exact moment.

“What are you doing here?” She asked him like she wasn’t happy to see him. She didn’t bother to ask how he got in.

“I came to see you,” he stood from where he sat and started quiet steps towards her. He came to her and stroked her left cheek with his index finger.”You look tired, should we postpone this conversation?” He asked.

“There would be no conversation, I don’t want to talk to you, or see you. You should… to should leave.” She said in a low voice, avoiding looking at his face as she spoke.

Ben chuckled rather loudly.

“We are talking then,” She heard him.

Before she could think of words to say to him, she felt a light grasp on her waist. He took her to one of the kitchen stools in front of the L-shaped counter and made her sit.

“Tell me, why did you result to your decision?” He also sat on one of the stools there

“I thought about it.”

“And did you rethink it like I asked you to?”

“Yes, my decision is still the same.” Her reply had him quiet for a second.

“Can you tell if your decisions are being influenced?” He asked her.

“My sister had nothing to do with my decision.”

“What do you want? I am willing to do anything to change your mind.” She heard him ask. She didn’t know that he was trying to get her to change her mind without having to do the other things he had in mind.

“Nothing.” Her answer hurt his composure. It was more hurtful to witness how quick her reply was, she wasn’t opting for a change of mind. He inhaled air, trying to hide a livid reflection of his anger which had disappeared as soon as it came.

“Would you rather I lie about loving you? Because I am more than willing to do that to have you change your mind.”

“Does it have to be a lie? Can’t you try giving me your heart?” Belle asked him in a shaky, quiet voice, tears in her eyes.

“I can’t.”

“You can’t, there, that’s why I made that decision.”

“Belle…,” He placed his hands on her right thigh, rubbing her soft skin to try and stop her tears. He got off his stool and went on to wipe the tears welling up in her eyes with his fingers.

“I just want you to feel the same thing I feel for you, can you really not do that? I just want you to get me flowers, and call me yours… in front of people… you know, show me to the world.”

“If I do all of that, would you change your mind?” He cupped her cheeks with his palms.

“….” She just blinked without an answer.

“I already told you, you are mine. If I get you flowers, would that change your decision?”