Loving You Too Long

Haisley rests her forehead on Nathan’s shoulder again. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, never letting go of her embrace around his neck.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers softly. Nathan also falls silent and chooses to listen. His hands are clasped at Haisley’s waist, and he places his chin on top of her head. He, too, takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“No need to apologize. I’m the one who should apologize here,” he responds softly. And those words make Haisley feel breathless for a moment. “I asked too much from you, yet I’ve never given you anything. No kindness, no hope. I haven’t planted a single goodness all this time, but suddenly I’m asking for all that goodness from you. I have no shame,” Nathan says with a sad smile on his face. “But I want you to know, I’ve fallen in love with you. And perhaps you can say this is some kind of punishment that God gives me because I’ve wasted you all this time. So now, He wants me to know that this has been your feeling toward me.

“At least you reciprocate by treating me well, not in a rough way like I’ve shown you all this time,” he scoffs, mocking himself. “I just want you to know that I’m in love with you. I love you, Haisley. Whatever your answer is, I won’t force anything. I won’t ask you to wait. I can’t let you go to someone else because I have no right to do that. You’ve never been mine to then give to someone else.

“But I will sincerely pray for your happiness. I promise that,” Nathan says again.

Hearing all this, Haisley feels as if all those words are a farewell statement. She knows that Nathan has made a decision, and she can’t do anything except offer him support. Although in her heart, she feels something unsettling, she can’t let Nathan leave her so soon.

She wants to keep Nathan and bind him to herself.

But she’s not sure about her own feelings.

All of this is confusing for Haisley. She can’t express the contents of her heart with words.

Is there someone who can help her? Express what Haisley really wants right now? Because she herself is overwhelmed with confusion about her own feelings.

Oh God, help me. Haisley screams in her heart.

The sound of knocking made Haisley look at Nathan with fear.

“That must be G,” the man said calmly.

Haisley got off his lap, allowing Nathan to go and open the door for whoever was knocking. As Nathan suspected, it was indeed Gilbert who came with Dean. Both men carried a large plastic bag in each hand.

“Are you okay?” Gilbert and Dean almost simultaneously asked. Haisley looked at both of them with a raised eyebrow, confused. But then nodded.

“I was just afraid he might have assaulted you,” Gilbert casually replied. He placed the shopping on the bar table before sitting on the sofa, a bit far from Haisley, followed by Dean, who sat next to him. “You know how he is, so it’s natural for me to worry,” he added, still with a casual tone.

Meanwhile, Nathan seemed busy with the shopping bag Gilbert had just brought. He put some items into the fridge and neatly arranged the rest on the kitchen table.

“Are you sure no one followed you?” Nathan asked after finishing his task, sitting next to Haisley. His arm lifted, possessively embracing Haisley’s shoulder. Gilbert and Dean nodded in response to Nathan’s question.

“But it won’t be long, Nath,” Gilbert finally said. Haisley could feel Nathan’s body freezing beside him. “Loretta is like a madwoman. When she found out you both disappeared, she went crazy. She searched the entire inn area, then to your residence, Haisley.” Gilbert’s words sent shivers down Haisley’s spine.

“She didn’t do anything strange, did she?” Haisley asked, imagining Loretta ransacking her room and interrogating everyone to find out her whereabouts.

Gilbert seemed to shake his head. “Not so far,” he flatly replied, knowing very well that ‘not so far’ would soon become ‘very soon’. “She bombarded us, accusing us of hiding both of you, even though it’s true. Then she tortured the person who followed you in front of us. She also threatened to report you to the police if you didn’t show up in front of her soon,” he added again.

Haisley was once again filled with fear. “How could she?” she asked both Gilbert and Nathan in turn.

“Of course, she’ll use your hit-and-run report as an excuse,” Gilbert replied again. “If she reports you and hands over all the evidence she currently has, making you a fugitive, she can ask for help from the local police to arrest you. Or she might ask the police from England to come here and look for you. You know she can do that,” Gilbert warned. “Now it’s all up to you, Nath. Whether you’ll stick with your decision or not,” Gilbert added.

Haisley looked at Nathan again, seeing the hardened expression on his face. The color seemed to drain from his face momentarily. Haisley knew that Nathan was nervous and scared right now. She reached out and touched Nathan’s hand, clenched tightly on his thigh.

“What did Papa say?” Nathan asked again.

“Papa said he still hasn’t found any evidence,” Gilbert replied wearily. “Even by contacting people he knows, Papa still hasn’t found a way to free you from that crazy woman’s clutches.”

Nathan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I have to go back to England and surrender,” he said a few moments later, shocking Haisley to hear it. So soon? He was still enjoying the time when he felt Nathan’s love, but how could he say this heartlessly about leaving her?

“You can’t just leave like that, Nath,” Haisley protested softly.

Nathan finally turned his face to Haisley, seeing the girl’s eyes now warming up and becoming teary. “I have to do it, Haisley. If I go and surrender, the punishment I’ll receive will be lighter than waiting for them to catch me. And surrendering at least makes me not a coward like I’ve been all this time.”

Haisley shook her head, refusing to let Nathan give up so easily. Nathan showed a gentle smile, lifting his hand and gently stroking Haisley’s hair.

“Just pray for me, Haisley. Hopefully, the court won’t sentence me too harshly,” he pleaded with a melancholic face.

Later, Dean and Gilbert left them after dinner. Haisley spent more time in silence, refusing to join the conversation between Nathan, Dean, and Gilbert. And the three men didn’t force her to stay involved.

“Everything will be okay,” Gilbert said, gently rubbing Haisley’s head. Dean did the same before following Gilbert out.