My Child..
RYAN’S POV
“What happened?” I murmured as I stirred in bed, my head pounding with a headache. It was aching so much it felt like it was going to fall off my head. “Finally, you’re awake,” Tana said, walking into the room. “We need to talk about last night.” She said as she walked to where I was. Confused and exhausted, I wondered what she was on about.
“What do you want, Tana? I’m so tired,” I sighed as I turned to the other side of the bed. I tried so much to remember what had happened but I had no idea, I guess the booze I had taken last night was pretty too much for one day as I had no memories of anything that had happened.
” I want an explanation for what last night was about?” She asked as she glared at me, obviously ready for a fight that morning. As she moved closer to the bed and sat down, I realised I had no idea what she was talking about, and I was not prepared to chat that morning, so I decided to completely avoid the conversation by not responding to anything she said. I stared at her blankly without saying anything and that annoyed her even more.
“You should start talking, Ryan, for both our sakes.” Tana’s voice filled the room, cutting through the heavy silence and I turned to look at her even more confused than before. ” What happened last night?”
I questioned myself as I tried so hard to mask my ignorance. I believe I failed since Tana saw right through me as I could see the satisfaction in her eyes as she watched me struggle to comprehend what was happening.
“You really thought you could get away with it, didn’t you?” she sneered. My heart raced as I tried to remember every detail of last night, but it was all a blur. How did everything go so wrong? What had really happened?” I wondered.
As I wracked my brain, trying to piece together the events of last night, Tana’s expression turned malicious. “You underestimated me, Ryan. I am sure you know what I am capable of.” she hissed.
Tana was not one to throw empty threats, she could hurt someone to get what she wanted and that scared me. ” I wish I knew what she was talking about.” I mumbled as I glared at her. ” You want to go searching for Sophie again, after what happened the last time.” She yelled and I felt a sudden excitement. ” Where did she see Sophie?” I asked myself and I turned to ask her about it.
” Sophie?” My eyes brightened as I sat up; do you know where she is? I questioned hoping that she knew where Sophie was. “You can not hide how excited you are to hear her name; I am ashamed of you, and I am sure our son is.” She said as she burst out bawling.
I understood immediately away that I had made a mistake and needed to save myself as soon as possible. I knew Tana and had seen what she was capable of.
I did not want her to go after Sophie or the child who was probably mine, so I drew close to her and held her, reassuring her that there was no such thing as any woman more or less Sophie, but she shoved my hands away, “Leave me alone, you slut. All you have ever brought me was pain.” She said as she sobbed uncontrollably.
“But… emmmm, I love you!” I said banking in the fact that it might calm her down. “If you truly love me, why can not you let go of Sophie? Our son is ill, and all that is on your mind is Sophie?” she said and the more she spoke about our son, the more hurt I felt. I knew that child was not mine and her pretence infuriated me but now was not just the time to deal with that.
The room filled with silence as the weight of Tana’s words hung in the air. I knew she was hurting, and my heart ached for both of them. Slowly, I moved closer to her again and wrapped my arms around her tightly. “I’m so sorry for everything,” I whispered into her ear. “Let’s find a way together – one where all of us can be happy.” I said again in an attempt to soothe her
Tana pushed me away again, her tears soaking my shirt. The pain in her eyes was unbearable, and I knew that no words could undo the damage that had happened. I knew she loved me but now I wanted a child of my own, and knowing she could not have a baby, I couldn’t possibly let the slightest chance that Sophie had a child for me pass by.
My mind raced as I thought about what she had said – about our son being sick. Suddenly, a wave of guilt washed over me like a tidal wave. “Was I selfish?” I asked myself, besides, Sophie was my past, but my family – Tana and our son -was my present and future.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.
” But her son was not my family, he was the bastard son of who knows who.” I muttered reassuring myself I was doing the right thing and that Tana was the one who hurt me first even though I had pretended not to know.
” But how did I let myself become so consumed with thoughts of Sophie? I thought, ” This is not about Sophie but your child.” I muttered to myself as I consoled Tana who was calmer now.
She turned to face me and when I looked into Tana’s tear-filled eyes, the pain in her gaze pierced my heart. I love Tana, but I loved my child too and I was not going to let my love for her get in the way of my relationship with my child. I was going to find her and make things right. But first, I need to erase every doubt off Tana’s mind.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered again, my voice cracking with guilt. “I’ve been selfish and blind, but I promise you, from this moment on, everything will change. Our son is sick and he needs us both. Let’s find a way together – one where all of us can be happy.” I said to Tana and she stared at me skeptically and dried her tears.
I stretched my hands to hug her, Tana hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding her head, her tears still streaming down her cheeks as she embraced me. I smirked, happy that I was able to convince Tana not to go in search for Sophie till I knew everything that was going on and for a moment there, my mind was at peace for Sophie.