Chapter 20
Chapter 20
Sasha
Kirk was staring at me with wide startled eyes. I swallowed past the large lump that formed in my
throat. Pain from the past poured through my heart as I remembered him coming at me with those
vicious hate-glazed eyes. I was trying to move, to do something, but I was glued to the spot.
“Sasha?” he asked, like he didn’t recognise me, the fucker.
Dexter began to shift next to me and his eyes took in Kirk. My ex-boyfriend had short brown hair and he
was wearing a suit. He looked sophisticated and it seemed that after a year, life was treating him pretty
well. This wasn’t fair and I wanted to vanish. I grabbed Dexter’s elbow. Panic was invading me quickly
like an unexpected avalanche, washing over my body, threatening to suffocate me. Dark thoughts
began rippling through me as I stared at the man I had been in love with for years. It had taken him
only a second to betray me.
“We need to take the stairs, right now,” I hissed.
“Sasha, wait. I want to talk to you. I’ve been meaning to call your mother,” Kirk said, taking a step
towards me. The corridor was slowly closing in on me; the panic attack was approaching as my heart
rate escalated. This wasn’t happening. He wasn’t here, he couldn’t be. His voice had haunted me in my
dreams until this day.
“Sasha? What the fuck is going on?” Dexter snapped, annoyed. I couldn’t just stand there like that and
let Kirk manipulate me into a conversation. I span a hundred and eighty degrees and started marching
away.
“Hey, wait. Come on, Sash, I think I deserve at least a minute of your time.”
I felt his hand on my shoulder and nausea hit me. The pain washed over me, reminding of that fatal day
in our flat when I was trying to make amends, to understand why he did it, picking up the pieces from
the past four years. Then came the humiliation and his hidden cruelty when he began turning everyone
against me, kicking me while I was still down.
“Don’t fucking touch me, you piece of shit!” I screamed, whipping around.
In the next moment Dexter was right in front of Kirk’s face, shoving me aside. In other circumstances I
would have told Dexter to mind his own business, but seeing Kirk again drained all my energy and
courage from me. My whole body was shaking and I knew that I had to get out of this building;
otherwise, I was going to start screaming.
“Sasha, who would have thought. You got yourself a body guard, how ab—”
Kirk didn’t finish what he wanted to say; Dexter had him pinned against the wall, his face a couple of
inches away from Kirk’s. My ex wasn’t weak. He was taller and bulkier than any other man I knew. I
gasped when I saw Dexter’s face. He looked like a madman, his eyes filled with escalating fury.
“Say one more word to her, shitface, and I will rip your tongue out of your mouth!” Dexter growled and
shoved his elbow over Kirk’s neck, pressing it until my ex-boyfriend’s face paled. There were other
people moving through the corridor and Dexter was making a scene. Bile rose in my throat. I couldn’t
get him involved—not then or ever.
“Dex, please. He’s not worth it. Let’s just go,” I said quietly and touched him.
He listened, letting go of Kirk, who slid down the wall like a sack of potatoes. I was going to throw up,
but then Dexter grabbed my hand and started dragging me away, heading for the stairs. All the while
he was talking to me, but I wasn’t really listening. The voices from that night were alive in my head. I
felt like the new confident part of me had died and I was left with my old mousy self.
“Listen, stay here for a second, I’ll be right back,” he told me in the car. I knew that he had to go back Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.
and check out.
Shivers tingled down my spine as memories of previous encounters pushed right through my head.
The stabbing panic threatened to seize control of my brain. I didn’t know how much time passed, but
eventually Dexter came back. He shoved something cold into my hands.
“Eat. This should make you feel better.”
I looked down and saw that he had brought me a mango sorbet like the one we had shared last night.
Tears threatened to splash out of my eyes, but somehow I managed to push them away. Several deep
breaths later I had my body under control, but my mind still wasn’t functioning quite as well as normal.
“Sasha, seriously, eat. Otherwise I’ll feed you. The sorbet will distract you from whatever the hell is
going on in that sassy head of yours.”
I sighed loudly, counted to ten and looked at him. Dexter grinned. I couldn’t let him see me like this,
broken and shattered. Kirk was a psycho and I should have known better; we were back in Glasgow. I
didn’t even think that I could bump into him—the city was massive—but fate was a total bitch.
I lifted my hand and started eating. As my taste buds registered the amazing sensation, my brain
started to switch off. Dexter was right; the sharp taste of sorbet could turn any negative thoughts away.
I emptied the bowl within minutes. My breathing was coming back to normal. Maybe there was still a
chance for me.
“Nice one, Sasha. You didn’t even offer me a bite,” he grumbled.
“Shut up, you didn’t say that you wanted any.” I inhaled slowly and let his eyes travel over the tight
white top that I’d worn today. When I met his gaze, instead of desire I saw troubled concern, and that
put me on edge. I didn’t think he cared about my feelings.
“Who was he?” he finally asked, switching on the engine.
I’d told him something that I hadn’t shared with anyone else before, but my past was fucked up and
very complicated. I was afraid that if I told him the whole truth, he might not look at me the same way.
“My ex-boyfriend,” I said.
Silence stretched on for some time until Dexter began to drive off the car park. I assumed that we were
going back to the complex. The wild adventure was over.
“I could kill him for you if you want,” he offered.
I glanced at him, smiling widely. “And what would you do with the body?”
“Barbie, why are you even asking that question? I’ve enough money; I would hire someone to do the
dirty work for me. I’m too good-looking to be messing with shit like that.”
“Too good-looking, huh? How are you so sure?”
The car stopped at the traffic lights and Dexter leaned over and kissed me, deeply and sensually. “I’m
sure. I’m the best-looking man in Scotland and probably England too,” he said, pulling away.
I couldn’t stop laughing, trying to hide my uneasiness.
“Kirk was the father. He did care when I got pregnant, but then things went downhill fast.”
“Why do you hate him so much?”
I was staring down at my fingers, aware that Dexter wanted the real answer. We weren’t in a
relationship, but I wasn’t done with sleeping with him yet. I didn’t want to dive straight back into the
gloom, like my first few months in London, where I was the loneliest person on earth, broken and
battered
“He hurt me, but I don’t want to talk about it. I know that I never want to see him again.”
“I can still hire a hit man to kill him.”
“If you kill him, that means that you care too much about me, Dexter, so cut it out.”
I didn’t need to look at him to know that he didn’t like my statement. The light changed to green and the
car moved forward. The silence was awkward, but at least he had done a good job with lightening my
depressive mood; his, too, for that matter. I still had no idea why he’d behaved so strangely when we
woke up.
“I do care about you, Barbie; more than you realise. This isn’t a fucking game anymore.”
His words rang in my head, spreading warmth down through me, igniting my body with heady
emotions. Neither of us said anything else for the rest of the drive, but I was wondering if he really
meant what he said. Was Dexter sending me some sort of encrypted message? Was this more than
just sex between us? He was so cold, and the next moment he was Prince Charming.
I was hoping that the prescription would give him some relief from the pain. There were many causes
of migraine. Dexter used a lot of other drugs and he smoked; this wasn’t a good combination.
An hour and a half later, we arrived back to the complex. I was in a much better mood. Dexter was
quiet. I had another pole-dancing training session tonight and I needed to take it easy before the class.
I was hoping that he’d had enough sex today and would let me rest.
Unfortunately, there was a sour surprise waiting for us outside the entrance. Victoria stood by the
doors, looking even better than the last time I saw her. She wore a tight red summer dress that showed
off her figure, high heels, and barely any make-up. Fuck, I really wanted to smear mud all over her
face. It hadn’t taken her long to come back.
“Well, well, well. Who do we have here? A mouse and a prince,” she said
Dexter
“Get the fuck out of my property,” I said, stepping right in front of Victoria. I thought that I had settled
this with her the last time. I wasn’t in the best of moods today. Sasha had woken me up and it didn’t
take me long to realise that I had snuggled up to her in my sleep. When she’d disappeared into the
bathroom I felt like I was ready to explode. I was scared, afraid that I was getting too close to her, and it
was time to abandon the sinking ship. Then our encounter with the ex, and now I had to deal with this
crazy bitch again.
“I’m going inside, Dexter,” I heard Sasha saying. Victoria was staring at me with that stupid smile on her
face.
“So, you and the chubby blonde? What are you now, a charitable shagger? No one would fuck her, so
you offered?” She chuckled.
I lost it then. It was the combination of anger from earlier on and something else… the darkness that
inflicted more violence. I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the entrance doors. Hitting
women wasn’t my thing, but she turned me into mad Dexter.
“It’s not your fucking business where I stick my dick, so get the fuck out of here before I stop
remembering that you’re a woman,” I growled, pressing her hands over her head.
“There’s a video that you should see. Check your e-mail lover. And start treating me well; otherwise, I
might accidentally leak it to the authorities or the press. I bet they would be very interested in what I
have to say,” she whispered and then licked my ear lobe.
I stepped away from her. Video? What the fuck she was talking about now?
“You have five seconds to get your ass out of here; otherwise, I’ll call the police myself,” I snapped and
then went inside.
Five minutes later I was upstairs, scrolling through my e-mails. Victoria’s was on the top, so I opened it.
A shudder began moving through my spine. This couldn’t be good, but I had to see what she was
threatening me with. The screen was black at first and the sound quality wasn’t too good, but I instantly
recognised myself in one of the bedrooms at the party. Loud music was blasting in the background and
I instantly knew that song.
“Fuck, babe, you’re so tight, so fucking tight.”
I didn’t remember fucking anyone at the party. Victoria had invited me and when I got there I was in
really shitty mood, so I started drinking heavily. The camera was shooting from the side while I was
fucking someone in the missionary position. A blonde girl. I didn’t recognise her or remember her
moans. Nothing rang a bell. She came and then told me that it was the best night in her whole life, but I
was already out, snoring next to her.
She giggled to herself, then got up and took the camera with her as she walked to another bedroom.
She brought the camera to her face. “Hi. My name is Jenny Rogers and I’m fifteen years old, and this
was my first time.”
I fucking lost it then. I threw the laptop from the table and roared like my head was going to explode. A
ton of bricks dropped into my stomach. I started pacing around the room, trying to remember
everything I’d done that day, but my mind was blank.
I hated crowds, loud fucking music and socialising, but Victoria had insisted on going. We met at the
train station and she picked me up. I hit the bottle instantly, because I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
Everything became blurry when I took some pills.
Sex with an underage girl—hell, even I wasn’t that stupid, but the video seemed authentic. I couldn’t
get my head around it. I was breathing deeply through my nose. After a few moments I started going
through the photos on my phone. The party was almost four weeks ago.
I scrolled through and then stopped, and the colour drained from my face. I saw my own selfie with the
blonde girl from the video.