Chapter 48 – To truly gain control, you must relinquish it.
” I’m sorry to startle you. I would love to speak with Mr. Braxton if you don’t mind.” She spoke flawlessly, her eyes were fixated on Asher.
Mrs. Adams has zero ideas of what was going on. She hadn’t felt so out of words in so long. ” Mr. Braxton is a little bit out of sorts now, Ms. Steele. If you could give him a moment-”
” I will see you in my study, Emma,” Asher spoke, cutting off Mrs. Adams.
Emma hadn’t expected to be given such attention, at least not immediately. She suddenly felt a wave of fear brush through her. Maybe not necessarily fear, but cold feet. She immediately resorted Ms. Adams, who shared a look that said, ” well, here’s your chance!”
Before she moved, she noticed Asher was well over the staircase and headed down the hallways. He didn’t even bother to look back. Or check if she was following.
” Go! ” Mrs. Adams urged in a silent tone, making her bolt for it in return. It was now or never.
Asher took long strides to his study, half expecting to see Emma beside him. He had taken the quickest link out because he felt he needed some time alone to figure out certain things that plagued him. He didn’t understand what it was with the Steele lady. She was a puzzle piece. One he hadn’t been given a chance to figure out.
What did she want from him? Did she hear him ask after her? What were her intentions?
Asher pushed the doors open and headed over to his seat behind the table. He turned on the desk lamp, giving a soft glow to the ambiance of the office. Soft knocks were heard and he muttered a soft come-in, having expected her for a moment.
Emma walked into the office with her head bowed. She couldn’t fathom where the previous bout of energy she felt disappeared to. She felt like one walking into the territory of a wild beast with zero confidence in her ability to successfully carry out her mission. Honestly speaking, being in an enclosed environment with the famous Mr. Braxton felt bone-chilling. She wasn’t even prepared! She felt like she’d entered a sword fight depending on her fists.
A tad bit too dangerous if you asked her.
” Have a seat, Ms. Steele. ” Asher’s voice took her out of her reverie.
” Thank you,” Emma said and softly did as instructed. She willed herself to look at him and at that moment, she realized that nothing could have prepared her for what she saw or how she felt. A particular word described the plowing of her heart through her ribcage, her increased pulse, and her wavering confidence.Content © copyrighted by NôvelDrama.Org.
Intimidation. Emma felt intimidated.
What deluded her into thinking she could do this? As the seconds trickled by, she was reminded of how much of a failure she had become. She wasn’t even worthy to approach such a level of success. Not messed up she was and not after how rudely she’d treated him.
Heck, it was a miracle she still had a roof over her head. She was banking on another miracle to be able to convince such a hunk of a man.
” I believe you wanted to speak to me? ” Asher spoke again, his voice was taut and once again brought her out of another fear-induced reverie.
” Uh- I just wanted to um-” Emma was inebriated. It shouldn’t be so hard to speak.
Asher was no patient man. The more she spoke and stuttered, the thinner his patient got.
” I-I-I just-”
” I am a busy man, Emma. ” He spoke again, his frustration was more visible.
Emma immediately took the plunge. There was no great way of saying it. There was just one way to go, one way to say it, damning all consequences. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?
” I want to marry you.” She said, and as though just realizing the velocity of her words, she added, ” I mean, only if you want to, I’m not going to force you or anything, You requested to marry me so if that offer is still on the table, I’d like to declare my interest.”
Asher couldn’t comprehend what he’d just heard. Surely, she didn’t just ask him to marry her. He kept on waiting, for the moment she laughed and announced it was a joke. Seconds trickled by, and the reality of her words gained flesh. His eyes widened and his mind screamed one question in particular.
” Why? ” Asher didn’t realize he’d asked aloud until she spoke.
” Why not? ” Emma wasn’t too keen on sharing her life goals and at that moment, it seemed about right.
Asher cleared his throat, trying to regain control, ” Unless hell froze over, you couldn’t have made such a drastic turn from your previous disposition.” He remarked studiously.
” I don’t recall saying no to your proposal, Mr. Braxton. ” She said, trying to smart her way out of the question.
” I don’t recall you saying yes to my proposal either, Ms. Steele.” He pointed out.
” Let’s just say I thought it over and decided to give it a shot. Just with slightly different conditions.” She said with an awkward laugh.
Asher let out a sigh. “As I said, I’m a busy man, Ms. Steele, and unless you have something serious to say or answer my questions, I’m going to ask you out of my office.”
Emma couldn’t understand why he wasn’t over the moon about her decision. Unless he lied to her, this was a solution to his problems as he put it. Why was he so interested in her reasons?
” I don’t get it. Why is my reason so important? You need this even more than I do.”
Not expecting her defiance, he sat up straight and addressed her. ” Motive, Ms. Steele, motive. And yes, I need this more than you can ever imagine but I’ll gladly find another alternative if it means full control over my business.”
” Full control? You speak like I’m after your money or something.” She said with a huff. As if!
Asher’s silence confirmed her words.
” You don’t mean that. That’s so rude to think!” She bellowed. Not too fond of the idea of being thought of as a gold digger.
” I said nothing. But if the shoe fits-‘
” Don’t even dare. Look, I know this might seem rushed but I’m in no hurry. If you don’t feel secure tying the knot with me, I understand. No need to think horribly of me.”
” Again, I didn’t say a word.” Asher reiterated. ” I do not think of you as a thief but you must understand my reservations about your proposal. I’m having enough headaches from not having full control and I would most definitely prefer to have full control in every decision relating to everything. Most especially, my business.”
” You must know there’s no such thing as full control. Sorry to break it to you, but shit happens. I would know, I speak only from experience.” Emma said in a reflective tone, briefly losing her claws while Asher observed accordingly.
” Of course. But we can’t help but attempt to gain as much as we can.” Asher said, feeling resolute. At that moment, his decision was made.
Emma couldn’t fathom if they were still talking about the proposal. She suddenly felt exposed. So much that she felt at loss for words all over again.
As she stared into the dark orbs of Asher, she wondered if she had already given him an answer in an attempt to play smart. The conversation about control was one she didn’t expect to indulge in. She couldn’t even refute his last sentence.
When one was plagued with the disease of having little to no say over their life in general, it brought the inexplicable urge to have total control over everything. No matter how little, not to talk of making such life-altering decisions. Be it forever or for a contracted period.
For example, when a child gets exposed to sexual molestation or abuse, a certain percentage, if not given appropriate rehabilitation and therapy may end up indifferent to the idea of sexual relationships, even with their significant others.
While on the flip side, may end up with a dominant complex, never allowing themselves into such a setting and pacifying themselves by taking back the control previously lost.
Emma’s case was quite similar. She had been caged and stripped away of her rights at a very young age. The only difference was she’d gone through that process, hoping that one day, she’d finally be given control over her life but was met with a shocking reality.
No one was given control. Control was a virtue only acquired by gain. That is, You take control. An art she decided to practice from now henceforth. The only setback was the one question that had the power to transport her back to that point.
One thing was clear. Her phenomenon proved lacking. There was a secret she stumbled upon. In order to gain control, You must relinquish control. That fact was ironic yet life-altering.