Planned Baby

Chapter 70 PROPOSAL

“Ellie, my brother committed suicide.”

“W-what?!

Kaela didn’t say anything. She just kept on crying. My heart was beating so fast

“Kaela please tell me you are kidding. Ulie did what?” I said a bit shaking.

But again Kaela did not answer and just kept on crying. My children started to ask me what happened because my tears are flowing again. I took a deep breath. I need to gather myself together because my children are with me. I can’t tell them about what happened

I shake my head and smiled at them. “Nothing. Your Aunt Kaela just wanted me to see your dad.

They just nodded but I know that they are not convinced by my answer.

We went straight to the hospital. I called Luna and asked her to go to the hospital because I needed her to take care of my children. When we reached the hospital Luna was already there.

“I heard what happen. How is he?” She said upon seeing me

“I don’t know yet. I need to talk to Kaela first. Can you get the kids and take care of them?" I asked.

Luna nodded. “Don't worry. Just leave the kids to me and go to Ulysses. He needs you. And please find it in your heart to forgive him.” I just showed her a forced smile and nodded at her. “Thank you.”

Then I went to the information booth and ask for Ulie’s room.

When I reached the VIP room, I saw Kaela and Quen outside the room. Kaela was crying hard while Quen was comforting her.

Seeing Kaela and Quen made me more nervous. I was silently praying to God to make Ulie safe. I might lose my sanity if I lost Ulie too. I just learn to let go of my parents after so many years. And the thought of Ulie and my children as my new family help me to finally let go of my parents.

Please Lord keep Ulie safe. My children needed their father. I also needed him. Please almighty God saves him

I did my best to gather myself and walk in their direction. Kaela saw me, she runs towards me and hugs me tightly. I tap her back to console her. “How is he?” I asked

She broke from the hug and wipe her tears. “He is stable now as per the doctor.”

Hearing that Ulie is now stable made me a bit at ease. I thank the Lord immediately.

Kaela grabs my hand and squeezes it. "Please Ellie, help us. We don’t know what to do anymore. I know it's hard for you because you lost your family, but please help us with my brother. I don’t want to lose him. I can kneel here if that's what you want.” She said sounding so desperate.

My tears fell again after hearing those things from Kaela. They did nothing but good to me. They don't deserve to be hurt like this.

“You don't need to kneel at me, Kaela. No one is at fault. It was an accident. And I should be the one apologizing to Ulie and your family because I blame him and call him names he doesn't deserve."

“I was so selfish and only think about myself and my suffering. I did not consider how difficult it is for your brother to carry the guilt that he doesn't deserve. I was about to go and reconcile with him because finally, I realize that I was wrong but I was too late.”

Kaela shakes her head. “You are not late. My brother is stable now. You can still reconcile with him and be happy. Thank you, Ellie, for giving him a chance. He loves you so much that he wanted to take his life to give you justice.” She said while her voice was breaking.

“But that is not the justice that I want,” I told Kaela.

She nodded. “I know.

When Kaela and I settled, I took a deep breath before I decided to go inside Ulie’s room. I saw his parents crying beside him. I swallowed hard. I feel nervous, I am not sure if they will still accept me for Ulie. I was the one who causes him pain. “Auntie, uncle,” I called them

They both look in my direction. Auntie Adelia went to me and hug me. I can feel the warmth of her hug. I can't believe that they can still hug me after all the pain that I caused their son. I am surely blessed to have the Escarrer family in my life.

“Thank you for coming Ellie. My son needs you right now. You are the only person who can convince him to stop doing this to himself. We are all afraid that if he woke up, he might take his life again.” Auntie Adelia said while sobbing.

“I’m sorry Auntie, I was the one who pushes Ulie to do this. If I did not hate him that much-” I was not able to finish what I’m about to say because Auntie cut me off already.

“We understand where your anger coming from. You lost your parents at an early age. You suffered for many years. We already expected your reaction but we believe that someday you will find it in your heart to forgive my son and you will give my son a chance.” Auntie Adelia said

I smiled at Auntie Adelia. I can’t believe that I am hearing this after what happened to Ulie. I look at Uncle Laertes to see his reaction. He just smiles and nodded at me.

I was left alone with Ulie. He was sleeping peacefully. I look down and saw her wrist covered with bandages. I touch his hair and caress it. I remember the things that my parents told me about Ulie’s inner struggle.

“Baby, listen to us. Stop blaming Ulie for the accident. He never wanted it to happen. He suffered enough. You need to help him to let go of the guilt that he was carrying for years.” This was the exact word that my mother told me about Ulie's inner pain.

My mom also told me that his mind couldn’t take the pain that he is feeling at that time, the reason why his mind shut his memories about me and the accident

I may have suffered from my parent's death, but Ulie also suffered from it. The guilt did not leave him even if he lost his memory of the accident. He was always anxious whenever we reach any stoplight. I finally know the reason why he was always like that.

I think Ulie suffered more than me seeing him trying to take his life. Dealing with guilt is hard. And blaming him when he was already dealing with his guilt made it harder.

‘I'm sorry Ulie for bringing you more pain. I'm sorry for doubling your guilt. I will make it up to you once you wake up. I promise.” I whispered to him then I kiss his forehead.

When I was about to move away from his face, I saw Ulie’s eyes open. I startled. I didn't know what to say to him

“Ellie?” Ulie said then he looks at his surrounding.

‘I failed? I didn't die?” He said to himself.

A moment later, Ulie started to sob. He looks at me.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I failed.” He keeps on saying those words.

My heart breaks seeing him crying and apologizing to me because he failed to die. I feel like I'm the worst person in the world “What are you saying?” I said to him because I can't take what he just said

He looks at me, full of tears in his eyes. “I'm sorry because I failed to die. I’m sorry for being alive.”

I couldn’t help myself, I slap him a bit hard. I want him to wake up and realize what he is saying to me right now.

“Are you serious with what you are saying to me now?! How dare you kill yourself!” I shouted at him.

I can't stop myself from being mad at him “Did you ever think about the kids when you did this?!

Ulie lowered his head. “It was the only solution that I could think of. If I will die, then you will have sole custody of the kids without them hating you.” My eye widen. I can’t believe what I am hearing from him. Did I push him this much? Am I that evil?!

“If you are that guilty, then MARRY ME!” I said.

Ulie still looks so down. I guess he did not absorb my proposal yet.

“Of course, I should do that- wait! W-what?” Ulie reacted when he finally realize what I just said.

I look at him with coldness in my eyes. "I said if you are that guilty, then marry me.”

"W-why? I thought you hate me.” He said a bit lost.

I sighed and touch his face. “I did. You know how much my parents mean to me right?

Ulie nodded looking so guilty.

I smile at him. “When I learned about the accident, the only thing that came to my mind was to blame you. For so many years, I've been looking for something to blame for my parent's death. I was not able to mourn properly before.”

“And now that I found someone to blame, then I finally allow myself to moum for them. I blame everything on you and even called you a > murderet. I'm so sorry Ulie. I'm sarry becaus@'! doubled the guilt that you are carrying for years. I now Fealize that-what I did to you was wrong afd evil. You didn't deserve to hear those words from me. It is not your fault” I told him while my tears keep on flowing.

Ulie holds my-hand that touches his face and caresses it. “Your feelings are valid. kam at fault. I was the one who caused the accident. I was the reasomwhy you lost your parents. wasthe one who caused yowso nah pain. I was the murdever.”

My heart is breaking with every word I heard from him. I shook my head.

“You are not a murderer. It was no one’s fault. It was an accident. And you never want that to happen.” I made that clear to him. “But I was the one who caused the accident.” Ulie keeps on insisting on himself.

I glared at him. “I said stop blaming yourself! It was not your fault. It was meant to happen because my parent's time is already up.”

I finally said it. For many years I can’t accept the fact that they left this world this early. But now I finally accept it. I finally learn to accept and let them go. I’m sure they are proud of me now.

I looked at Ulie again who was still absorbing everything that I told him.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

“I dreamed of my parents last night.” I confessed.

Just like what my parents told me, I should tell Ulie about the things that they told me.

Ulie didn't utter any word. He just looks at me and waited for me to continue.

“We were in our old mansion. We had our barbeque in the garden just like the old times.” I can’t help but smile when I remember that dream. “They are the ones who made me realize that what happened to them is an accident and I should not blame you or anyone for that.”

I held his hand and gently squeeze it. “My parents knew your inner pain and suffering. And they are so worried about you.

“They did not hate me?” Ulie asked a bit surprised.

I smile and shake my head. “No. As I said, they are very worried about you. They want you to know that they never blamed you for what happened. They knew that it was already their time.”

“Tell him that we never blame him for what happened. And we thank him for loyitng you since then until ~ now. Evéo though he lost his = << memoes of you, he was still able to find. you and be with you.- This was thezexact word of my momfor you.” It8ld him.

Ulie’s tears fell. He cried so hard. But compare to before, he was better now. Maybe these are the things that he needed to hear to finally forgive himself for what happened and to move forward.

Again, I thank God for that dream. The dream that I had last night is not only for me but also for Ulie. We both needed that dream to be able to let go of the past and move forward

I went to Ulie and console him “Thank you, Auntie, Uncle. Thank you.” He keeps on saying while hugging me back.

I break from that hug and I look at his face. “Stop blaming yourself. Let go of the guilt now and marry me.”