Reclaiming My Broken Luna 2

Astrid's POV

"What is it?" I asked, feeling a knot tighten in my stomach as I braced myself.

Killian drew in a deep breath, his eyes locking onto mine. "It's about Ryker. I don't think we should tell him the truth yet."

I frowned, a sinking feeling settling in my chest. "Why not?"

His gaze softened, but his voice remained firm. "You know Ryker's condition-he's not like other children, Astrid. We don't know how he'll react to this."

"Are you asking me to wait again?" I said, my voice trembling. "I've already waited three years, Killian." My lips quivered as I spoke, the frustration and longing I'd held onto for so long threatening to spill over. Killian's expression became grave, his eyes filled with genuine concern. "Astrid, you haven't seen how Ryker responds when even the smallest change disrupts his routine. It overwhelms him. Sometimes, it takes hours - sometimes an entire day - just to calm him down."

He paused, his voice gentling but carrying the weight of his words. "Now imagine what would happen if we told him that everything he's believed about his life, about his mother, wasn't true. That the woman he's trusted and loved isn't really his mother. It would be too much for him to handle right now. It could shatter his sense of security."

My heart clenched as his words sank in. I knew he was right. As much as I longed for Ryker to know the truth, I also understood how fragile his world was.

I took a deep breath, feeling the familiar weight of disappointment settle over me, pressing down like a stone.

Killian's voice was soft but steady. "Astrid, please... just give it more time. I know it's hard, but we need to be sure Ryker is ready. We can't risk turning his world upside down before he's prepared for it. Let's not put him in a difficult situation."

His words were like a knife twisting in my chest. I had already waited so long, now that we could finally reunite again, I still couldn't tell Ryker the truth. The thought of waiting even longer felt unbearable.

I swallowed, trying to steady the emotions rising in my throat. "How much more time?" I whispered, my voice barely audible. "How long do I have to keep pretending that he's not mine?"

Killian's gaze was sympathetic, and he reached out as if to comfort me, but I took a small step back, not wanting the touch to soften the ache I felt.

"I can't say for certain," he admitted. "We just have to wait until he grows fond you. It wouldn't be long, you already managed to win his heart in a short time you've been with him.

I felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes, but I forced myself to hold them back. "I've waited for so long, Killian," I said, my voice cracking. "It feels like every day I lose more of him... more of the chance to be his mother."

He nodded, his expression filled with a mix of understanding and regret. "I know. But you're not losing him, Astrid. You're doing this to protect him, to make sure that when he does know the truth, he's in a place where he can accept it."

I bit down on my lip, feeling the frustration and sadness well up inside me. I wanted to argue, to tell him that I couldn't stand the thought of waiting another day.

But deep down, I knew he was right. And that knowledge, as much as it grounded me, also broke me.

So, I simply nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "Okay," I murmured. "I'll wait... for the meantime, we'll use the time to get to know each other better."

Killian's eyes softened, and for a moment, the silence between us felt heavy, filled with all the things left unsaid.

We both knew the weight of the choice we were making, the fragility of the situation, and how much was at stake.

But we also knew that this was our chance - a chance to build the bridge we needed to cross, one small step at a time.

As I stood there, I felt a bittersweet realization settle over me. I didn't know my own son. Not really.

I knew the boy I had seen from afar, the one who had lived his life believing Giselle was his mother, but I didn't know his favorite book or what made him laugh.

I didn't know what calmed him whennoveldrama

he was upset or how he liked to spend his mornings. And he didn't know me either - I was just another face, another presence he hadn't learned to trust yet.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper.

Although I told him that I'm okay, that I would do things the way he wanted, he still felt the pain radiating from me.

I forced a bitter smile. "I'm fine."

It was a lie, and we both knew it. But I didn't want to unravel here, not in front of him.

I didn't want him to see the mess of emotions swirling inside me - the longing, the fear, the guilt. I wasn't ready to share that part of myself especially not with the man who had caused so much of this pain

"Astrid..." he began, taking another step closer.

"No," I interrupted, holding up a hand to stop him. "I don't need sympathy or comfort, Killian." I held his gaze, my eyes hard. "I just need time."

He hesitated, his eyes searching

mine. For a moment, I thought he might push, insist on staying and talking things through, but he only nodded, accepting the distance l placed between us.

"I understand," he finally said, his voice quiet, resigned. "But if you need anything... I'm here."

I wanted to scoff at that, to remind him how many times he wasn't there when I needed him most.

But the words stuck in my throat, and all I could manage was a small nod. I turned away, taking a deep breath to steady myself as I walked down the hallway.

As I put more distance between us, I felt the familiar sense of emptiness creep in.