Peaceful
Lilly.
He looked so peaceful as he slept. He was perfect even in the morning when I looked like a ghost with a birds nest for hair. Jake, on the other hand, looked like an angel. But, he was far from it, and I had been full to let him in despite knowing that. He was the second worst male devil I knew, first being Kyle.
I kept making the same stupid mistakes. But, I was done. No more. Reaching out, I shook Jake awake. He opened his eyes, and smiled when he saw me.
“Good morning, baby.”
“You need to leave now, Jake.”
He frowned, sitting up. “What’s wrong?”
“Just go. I can’t do this. I can’t pretend that everything is okay after what you did.”
A few minutes after we broke up, he had gone off to Catalina Island with a woman that wasn’t me. If Jake thought I could act like that never happened, it meant he thought I was a total idiot. I was tired of being a fool for a man.
“There are so many things I need to tell you. I can explain everything.”
I shook my head, not wanting to hear it. “Jake, if you still have any respect or affection for me, you have to leave. Last night was a mistake that should never happen again. Let’s call it goodbye sex. It’s done, it’s over. Now leave my house or ill eave you here.”
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“I don’t want to,” I yelled, in frustration.
It seemed like running off with women was a pattern to him. The first time we kissed, he had gone off to Illistra where rich men went to party and sleep with hot models. Because we had not been an item then, I had understood. But this time, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to listen to his excuses because I knew there was a possibility of me forgiving him. That was not a risk I wanted to take.
Jake quickly realised that I was not in the mood for explanations. He got out of bed and went into the bathroom. After seeing his erect member, I was hot and bothered. I wanted to jump his bones for a quickie but took some deep breaths, trying to calm myself. It didn’t work. When he returned and started putting on his clothes which I had placed on the lower part of the bed, it took all my will power not to rip off my clothes and do him. I turned and faced a different side because the temptation was strong. When I saw a glass of water on the bedside table, I grabbed it and drunk all of it. It didn’t take the edge off but I tried to think it help.
“Listen to me,” Jake began.
“If you try to talk to me one more time, I’ll call your mother to pick you up.”
Last night, he had called his chauffeur to pick his car and pack elsewhere. I didn’t ask but I knew it was because of his mother. He didn’t want her to know that he was with me. The fact the he couldn’t even stand up to her for the sake of our relationship made me angrier. All he could do was run away with the kind of women his mother approved off. I wanted to hate him so much it hurt.
“Oka, I’m leaving.” He said when he was fully dressed.
“That’s good,” I said, standing up.
I watched in pain, as he walked out of my bedroom. It hurt so much to see him go. Love sucks. Why did I have to fall in love with the biggest jerk that ever lived? I waited until I heard the main door close before sobbing. The pain was real. It felt like a stab to the heart.
Sleeping with him again had been a huge mistake. It cut open the wounds that had been healing. Now the heartache was fresh again and it sucked. I wanted to call in sick but decided against it. It was better for me to go and slave away at work instead of spending the whole day crying for some silly man who was not worth it.
It took about an hour for me to get my act together; the first forty five minutes were spend sobbing, crying and regretting all my life choices. By the time, I was done, I had to go and rewash my face and change clothes because everything I had on was tear stained. That day, I decided to apply more makeup, hoping it would hide the depression eating me from the inside. When I was satisfied that I looked normal, I left the house.
Although I tried to hide my sadness, Leah noticed. She had to. We knew each other like the backs of our palms. She pulled me aside and asked what was wrong.
“I made a terrible mistake,” I confessed. I needed to let it out to someone or it would drive me crazy. “I slept with Jake.”
“Oh sh! t,” Leah said, her eyes going widened. “What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking, but I kicked him out in the morning.”
“Oh dear, letting him into your apartment was a terrible mistake. You should have called me. I would have told you to stop. No wonder you’re such a mess. You know what? You can go and stay home. I’ll handle things for you.”
“But I need to be here. It’s better than being alone at home.”
Leah stepped forward and hugged me. I wrapped my hands around her, hugging her tight because I really needed it. “Thank you for understanding me,” I told her.
She pulled away. “You should stop thanking me for things because I’m your best friend. Just doing my job. Anyway, I have an idea. You wanted to be single for a while, but it seems that won’t work with you. It’s like you always need someone else to focus on. You need to start therapy so you can learn to love yourself enough to be comfortable alone.”
I stared at her for a few seconds without saying anything. “That might be a good idea.”
“Yeah, it’s either that or you can try things with that dude you couldn’t stop talking to at the resort.”
I rolled my eyes. “Leah, how do you give me good advice one minute and bad advice the next?”
Leah chuckled. “Let’s get back to work before Athena kills us.”
“Good idea.”