SLOW HANDS

“Gotta go now. You take care of yourself… And be safe” he said.

Chloe nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Last night was… Amazing” he continued. “I had a great time. I will call you when I get home… I mean… If you don’t mind.”

This time she gave him a small smile. Not knowing what to say… Or at least not knowing the right words to say them. He seemed to understand because he planted a kiss on her forehead before grabbing his phone from the nightstand and walking out of the room.

Chloe continued to sit on the bed after he left. She couldn’t understand why she was so upset when she was the one who had turned him down. This was crazy and she needed to get her brain checked, she thought, but it still didn’t stop the tears from falling from her eyes. She wasn’t in a relationship with Timothy, but she knew for sure now that she couldn’t be in one with Matthew either. Her head was filled with thoughts of Timothy and she knew that it wasn’t going to be fair to Matthew to stick with him when she was thinking of someone else. She would tell him tonight on their date.

Oh…. The date!

She held her head in her hands as she remembered that she was supposed to go out with Matthew that evening, and she had just spent the night in another man’s arms. Oh… She hated this, but she had to do the right thing, then take some time to get over all of this drama..ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

———–

Chloe dreaded that evening. But as much as she hated it, evening came and she had to get ready for her date with Matthew. He had even called her that afternoon to confirm if she was still coming…. And she had told him that she would. She considered calling things off with him over the phone, and while that idea was very appealing because she wouldn’t have to face him and say things to his face, she knew that the best thing to do was to see him and tell him personally… Because if she were in his shoes, that was what she would have expected him to do.

Matthew wasn’t just some guy who had asked her out. He was a friend, and a good man too. He had his flaws, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t deserve to be treated right. She respected their friendship, and even if she wasn’t dating anyone else, she knew she couldn’t be with him because she didn’t love him and she wasn’t attracted to him either. To date him was just going to be torture for her and disrespectful and hurtful for him.

She dressed in a purple gown that stopped at her knees and applied a little make up to her face. Her eyes were still a little swollen after the tears that morning, and she just wanted to get this thing over with. Matthew had offered to pick her up, but she had insisted that she wanted to drive to the restaurant. Knowing that after their date, she would be returning home alone and would need her car.

It was a beautiful restaurant, and Chloe was shown to their table where Matthew was already seated waiting for her. Their table was one of the best in the house. Semi private and ambient but with enough of the see-and-be-seen vibe that appealed to her. If she was actually into him, she would have loved this date, she thought.

Matthew smiled as she reached the table. Chloe avoided eye contact with him as she took her seat. This was ridiculous, she thought. This wasn’t even the worst part of the night… That part was coming.

“You look beautiful,” Matthew said, still smiling. And a little… I don’t know.. Pale.”. His smile faded, replaced by concern, making Chloe hate herself even more.

“Are you alright, Chloe?” asked Matthew.

Chloe managed to nod. “Yes. I’m fine” she said.

The sommelier approached with their menus, and Chloe’s mood was spiraling downward with an emotion she wincingly recognised as shame. She took it, looked through it and ended up asking for a glass of water instead. Matthew gave her a confused look, then went for his favorite Chilean Pinot Blanc.

“You don’t want to drink anything?” he asked.

Chloe shook her head, “No I don’t really. I feel like I had enough alcohol at the party last night, and I’m still a little bit hungover. I’d rather not.”

Matthew stared at her for a while. He looked like he wanted to say something else about it, but changed his mind. Their waiter arrived soon after that and Matthew definitely knew that something was up when she didn’t order any meal too. He made an order for the both of them anyway, and after the waiter left to get it, he faced her. His expression shifted from concerned to angry.

“Okay. Tell me what the hell is going on here Chloe” he demanded, almost slamming his hand on the table, but catching himself immediately.

Chloe’s gaze moved from his fist to his face. “Calm down, Matthew,” she said stiffly. “You are going to cause a scene”

“I don’t make scenes” Matthew replied. “I just want to know why you are being like that. Come on, we barely started the date and you are…. I don’t know… Ruining it. Are you not well or something? You could have simply told me if you weren’t in the mood to go out. We couldn’t reschedule…. instead of doing… This. It’s not fair”

Chloe did not like his tone, but she decided to ignore it. The last thing she wanted to do was to fight with him as she was the one wrong here. The earlier and faster she did this, the better for the both of them. The waiter returned with his drink and her glass of water, which she grabbed immediately as her throat felt very dry at the moment.

“I’m not ordering anything because I won’t be staying, Matthew,” she said hurriedly. After drinking, she set her glass down firmly on the table, her eyes fixed on his.

Matthew’s eyes narrowed. “You are not staying? Why? Is there something wrong? Did I do anything wrong?”

Chloe shook her head, hating this very moment and wishing that the floor would just open and swallow her. She had never been in this position before. She had never broken up with anyone before and even if this technically wasn’t a break up, it still felt like one and she was doing a very terrible job. She hated that Matthew thought he was the problem when it was her.