Our Shared Bedroom:>>16
The rest of the shower was less eventful if you ignore the very sensual part of getting to shower naked with your sister. If I hadn’t already cum a minute ago, seeing her as she stood under the shower and watching the soap bubbles slide down the curves of her butt, I would have seriously considered consummating our relationship right then.
But as it was, I did have to finish up and get to work, so the rest of the shower was just very, very stimulating. She decided to stay in the shower, but hugged me tightly before I stepped out to dry off.
Although it was the best morning a guy could get, it just made the rest of my day at work even more unexciting. I couldn’t wait to get home and see Jen again. But I had a hard time thinking over the sex question.
It really should not have been an issue in my mind, considering that we had technically had sex once, if only for a second, and had done just about everything else in our experimentation. But Jen was asking for more than sex, really. She was asking that we do it out of more than just lust, or fun. She was asking me to have sex with her as though she was my wife. To become one with her, not just by the act, but by a choice.
Something about that gave me pause.
It was a little confusing, really, and I’m afraid that my work that day was pretty poor as my mind was devoted to this issue. I really did love Jen. She was an awesome sister and a great girl. I trusted her like I did no one else. She was beautiful, sexy, fun. I loved being around her. I was proud of everything she was becoming. She was probably the most special person in my life. Why in the world would I hesitate to have sex with her as though she was my wife?
By the end of the day, I had come up with no good answer. I had come up with hundreds of reasons, but none of them really fit how my heart felt about it. I was frustrated, because I didn’t want to just give in and have sex with Jen and have a lingering doubt in my mind. If I did it, I wanted to make love with her honestly.
I left work just as frustrated as when I had entered, and drove home.
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When I got home, my mom was just setting the table for dinner and Jen wasn’t home yet. I wearily went up to my room and changed into some jeans and a t-shirt, then laid down on the bed. The room seemed like it was spinning around me as my mind kept going over my worries about Jen and I.
Jen got home and we all had dinner together. Mom and Dad talked most of the time as I couldn’t come up with much to say and Jen was strangely silent as well. She did catch my eye and the look on her face was of someone hopeful. She wanted to know if I had an answer. Seeing that I didn’t, her face became a little more troubled and she seemed to focus more on her mashed potatoes than someone should really need to.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the evening was over and I was back in my room getting ready for bed. I sat down and waited patiently until I heard the soft knock I had been anticipating all day.
Jen came in, wearing her loose pajamas and I made room for her to sit on my bed with me.
It was obvious that she was worried and didn’t want to bring it up, but she asked, “So did you think about it today?”
My heart started to ache.
“Yes. All day.”
“And have you decided?” She asked.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. She sighed in frustration and had turned her head away from me.
After a moment of silence, she looked back. Her eyes were filled with tears.
“How could you dare to do all these things with me-” she sobbed, “-and not do this?”
My heart crumpled and I embraced her. She cried silently into my chest.
I cried too; my tears falling into her hair.
Time turned into a hazy fog of sadness.
Things didn’t seem real. It was just she and I, crying together, because we were so in love but so confused.
It took a while, but eventually we both calmed down. She sat up and I pulled over the tissues and we wiped our eyes and cheeks, giggled softly as we blew our noses, and regained our composure.
I sighed heavily. “Jen, you know why.”
She looked in my direction, but kept her eyes downcast.
“I couldn’t love you any more than I do right now, but we both know we can’t build a life together like we were married. I… I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t rob you of the joy of meeting someone else that you really love, getting married to him and having kids with him.”Text © owned by NôvelDrama.Org.
She turned her head away slightly, but was still listening.
I continued. “There’s just something different about it, and I know you know it too. There’s something good about leaving your family and starting a family of your own. And if we did that together, we wouldn’t grow like we should, and we’d be hurting each other in a way.”
She sighed.
“And I just feel like if we stopped fooling around like we have been, and we got serious, we couldn’t break free from each other. I know I wouldn’t be strong enough to. I could never leave you.”
She started to cry again.
Looking down at the crumpled tissue she held in her lap, she muttered a sad, “I know… I know.”
Then she got up, gave me a quick hug, and left my room.
I felt like my heart had just been torn out.
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The next several weeks were, well… depressing. Jen and I eventually recovered and were able to continue on. We still joked around a good bit, we still talked, but it was all a little strained. It was like we both didn’t feel like we could be as open with each other as we had been before.
Then, there was the night I heard her come home and go to her room around five in the morning after a date with James. I wanted to throw up. The rest of that week, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Jen would hardly look at me, and when she did, it was like someone who felt like they had completely betrayed you.
The next week, I took Michelle out dancing. I got she and myself very drunk and we spent that night in a motel room. Michelle is blond, but that night all I could see was Jen’s brown hair. And when I got back home the next day, I couldn’t look Jen in the eye, and I could hear her crying in her room late at night.
In fact, I don’t think things could have been more wretched.