Teacher's Girl (Aflyingwhale)

Chapter 11: Breaking Bad 

Damn you, Mr.Hayes! Damn you and your charming good looks and your piercing brown eyes and your delicious kisses.Damn you!

All weekend long I was haunted by thoughts of Mr.Hayes and our car ride together.The worst part was that I couldn't tell my two best friends about it.If only I could discuss the situation and talk my feelings out with them, I wouldn’t be so tortured.

I met up with Tiff and Carrie the day after the party.It was Saturday afternoon and we were getting food at the mall.They were filling me in on things that I missed out on while I was on the second floor master bedroom playing seven minutes in heaven.And then I told them about my make-out sessions with Ryan, and how I wasn’t ready for anything too serious.

They thought it was because I haven't moved on from Zach.But the truth was, I couldn't move on from Mr.Hayes.

I didn't say anything, though.I let them think what they think.I didn’t want to get Mr.Hayes in trouble and I didn't want to jinx any chance that we might end up together.

Wait, does this mean...I like, like Mr.Hayes? Like, like him-like him?

"So, what are you gonna tell him?" Carrie’s voice broke my daydreaming.

"What? Tell who what?" my eyes snapped immediately.

"Ryan.What are you gonna tell him when you see him at school on Monday? He probably thinks that you still have the hots for him," Content is property © NôvelDrama.Org.

"Yeah, especially looking at all those hickeys on your neck.Damn girl,"

I blushed instantly at the mention of my neck.I woke up in the morning and saw various, and I meant numerous, hickeys all over my neck.The worst part though, was that I wasn’t sure who gave it to me.It could Ryan, or it could be Mr.Hayes...or both.

"I guess I'll tell him the truth,"

I sighed before continuing, "The kiss was a spur of the moment thing, and I’m not looking for anything serious, and that I don't see him that way,"

"Aw, poor kid’s gonna get his heart broken," Tiff commented.

"But it's better than stringing him along," Carrie replied.

"Yeah, just be quick and clear about it, Em.Put him out of his misery,"

After the car ride with Mr.Hayes, I realized how much I didn’t have real feelings for Ryan.It wouldn't be right to just leave him hanging, especially when he was nothing but nice to me.He kept texting me all day, asking me where I was and how I was feeling.I figured the best way to do this was to talk to him at school, face to face.

I just had to tell him quick and clear...

"Hey, Ryan.Listen, you're an amazing guy.You're funny, and sweet, and you're really cute.But the thing is, I don’t feel that way about you.I’m sorry if I led you on.But I just have to tell you, I'm not looking for anything serious right now and I just don't see you in that way.I'm sorry,"

I was practicing that speech all morning long as I made my way to school.My plan was to talk to Ryan during lunch, and avoid him at all costs before that.After dealing with Ryan, I figured I could start sorting things out with Mr.Hayes.

I didn’t even know where to begin with Mr.Hayes.

What would he say about that kiss in his car? Did it mean something to him? And would it be enough to risk everything in his life? I was just walking aimlessly to my lockers, when I saw Ryan walking my way on the corner of my eye.

I wasn't ready to face him right now, I quickly turned to my heels and took the nearest exit before he could see me.

I was too busy running away from Ryan, I didn’t realize I was walking towards the art studio.

I hid behind a large pillar so that Ryan wouldn't see me as he walked by.

I let out a relieved sigh as soon as he went away.

"I had a really good time last Friday night," suddenly I heard a familiar voice.

I whipped my head around and I saw Ms.Diaz standing next to Mr.Hayes.They were alone in the art room, and I managed to keep myself hidden behind the door so they wouldn't see me.Ms.Diaz was beaming at him, batting her eyelashes ferociously.Mr.Hayes drank his coffee and gave her a small smile.

"I'm glad you did,"Mr.Hayes replied, though his tone was rather polite.

"It was definitely different.I was still sore all weekend long,"

She purred seductively and Mr.Hayes remained quiet.

She walked around him to grab her things, purposefully brushing her body to his elbow.

Flipping her hair back, she eyed him from head to toe like she was hungry for something.

"We should do it again sometime," she said lowly, but I could hear it. I made sure I was out of sight when Ms.Diaz walked out of the art studio, sashaying down the hallway.

Suddenly, I felt a pang in my chest and my lips tasted bitter.

Of course, they went on a date Friday night.

Of course, they probably had sex.

They were two gorgeous, consenting adults.

Of course they would.

I saw images in my head of the two of them together.

Maybe he pinned her against the wall like he did to me.

Maybe he said the same dirty words and kissed her with the same urgency.

My eyes turned watery and air was escaping my lungs.

I had never felt this angry before, even more than when I caught Zach cheating on me in his college dorm.

I knew this was a bad idea, but my feet had stepped towards the art room and my hand pushed the door open.

Mr.Hayes was shocked to see me, his eyes widened and he almost spat the coffee in his hand.

"Emma?"

"Did you sleep with her?" I asked point-blankly.

"What?" he noticed my glistening eyes and his gaze turned from shock into worry.

"Ms.Diaz.Did you sleep with her?"

My tone was firm and serious.

Mr.Hayes sucked in a deep breath before letting out a long sigh.

"What does it matter, Emma?" he said finally.

"It matters to me.Please answer the question,"

"We...did have sex,"

"Was that before or after you kissed me in your car?"

"Emma — slow down,"

"Tell me,"

"It was after,"

"Why would you even do that? Why would you have sex with someone and kiss another girl five minutes later?"

"Emma, she was — and you were—" he stopped to take his hair in frustration and then he continued, "

“Emma, listen.You're a great girl and I won't deny that I have feelings for you.But this is wrong and that's that.We don't have to talk about this any longer.It is what it is.What I do with Ms.Diaz or with anyone else for that matter is none of your business,"

His tone was flat and cold.

And with every word, I felt my heart shatter into tiny little pieces. "So the kiss...it didn’t mean anything to you?"

"It was...a spur of the moment thing," he paused for a moment before continuing, "Emma, please, try to understand”

"Oh, I understand," I said as I choke back the tears.

"Emma..."

"I was just some play thing for you, aren't I? It was fun having the around, wasn’t it? The fact that we're not allowed to be together excites you—"

"Emma, stop it.I mean it," his tone was stern and he sounded angry.

But I couldn't help myself.I was upset too.

"Right.Because what else would it be?"

I wiped the single tear that fell to my cheeks and turned to my heels.I didn't want him to see me like this.All weak and teary eyed.

"Emma," he called out for me once more, but I was already out the door.

"I was a stupid, stupid girl.”Why would someone like Mr.Hayes think twice about a girl like me? Of course it meant nothing to him, of course I was nothing but a random stranger he fucked once behind a bar.

"Girl, what happened to your mascara? Are you okay?" Tiff asked worriedly.

Tiff and Carrie found me minutes later by my lockers.I was trying my hardest to hide the fact that I was a sobbing mess, but of course my best friends would know.

"Was it Ryan? Did he say something to you?" Carrie was being her normal protective self.

"No, it wasn’t him," I croaked.

"What happened?" Tiff and Carrie opened their arms and I went to hug them, letting my tired face rest on their shoulders.

"I'm just...really...sad.I liked him, I really, really liked him.And now I got my heart broken for it..."

"Aw, baby," Tiff cooed

"Zach really doesn’t deserve you,"

"He's an ass.You'll find someone better.Someone who will treat you right.I promise," Carrie added.

They were stroking my hair, calming me down.

I wasn’t talking about Zach, but this worked too.

"It’s only been a couple of weeks since the whole Zach debacle.You can’t get over a guy overnight, Em.You can give yourself some more time, it’s okay,"

"Yeah, Carrie’s right.Time heals everything,"

"You'll be okay.You have us,"

I nodded my head meekly at their words.

I never even realized that someone I barely knew could hurt me this much.

Somehow I felt like this hurt more than what Zach did to me.

I was such a fool to think that our silly one-night stand could mean something more to him. He was older and he had probably done it a thousand times.

I was just a dumb virgin who expected too much.If I should be angry at anyone, I should be angry at myself for my idiocy.

"Oh, a group hug in the middle of the hallway?"

We then heard Mark’s voice and saw he opened his arms wide to hug us all.

"Okay, this is getting weird," Tiff commented and all of us Paee away.

I stifled a laugh as my friends smiled at me.

Before long, we all burst out into wild laughter.I was feeling much better now, thanks to my friends.How could I ever survive the world without them, I'd never know.

The second bell rang just in time and we gathered our things and went to class.

Tiff had her arms around me, Carrie squeezed my hand, and Mark had his arms around Carrie.

As we were walking, I glanced past the art room and saw Mr. Hayes standing by the door, his face look distraught.

My stomach felt like it was kicked in the guts every time I saw his face.Not wanting to give it any more thought, I whipped my head around and shoved away all thoughts of him completely.

I just have to fake it ‘til I make it.

This morning I came to school thinking that I was going to break someone's heart.

I had a speech prepared and everything.

But life was unpredictable all right, turns out the joke was on me.

The only heart that was broken that day was my own.

Damn you, Mr.Hayes.Damn you.