Pain and Jealousy
I turned away and went to my room. Once inside, I unleashed my anger on everything in it.
“Ahhh!!”
I threw everything I could see.
I was on the verge of losing my mind searching for Tali, and now I find out it was all a lie? That there really is no Tali Dela Cruz because she is Thaliana Tangi Dela Vezca?
“Damn it!!”
“I love you so much! I love you so much, and yet, why?! Why!!”
Thaliana’s tearful face came to mind, while she was apologizing. She asked for forgiveness several times.
I slowly sat down on the bed. I lowered my head and cradled it in my hands. When I touched my face, I realized I was already crying.
“I love you… I love you… b-but why? Why did you fool me?”
I was staring blankly when Manang entered my room. She was crying while quietly cleaning up the mess I made. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I didn’t notice what time I fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, I felt the pain in my neck and arms.
I got up and sat on the edge of the bed. I glanced at the clock. It was already night.
I sighed heavily. I ran my fingers through my forehead. When I closed my eyes, Thaliana’s face, crying and asking for forgiveness, came to my mind. I clenched my fists. I thought it was just a dream. But it really happened.
“Sir.”
I turned to Manang when I heard her voice. She was standing in front of the door.
“P-Please, sir, try to eat even just a little, so you can take your medicine.”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.
“I am not hungry, Manang.”
“S-Sir, it’s been more than a week-”
“I said I am not hungry, Manang,” I said in an angry tone.
Manang Selya nodded and left my room. I looked out the window. After a few minutes, I heard the door open again. I sighed because I already told Manang I didn’t want to eat, but she came back.
“Manang, I said I don’t want to eat. How many times do I have to tell you-”
But it wasn’t Manang standing in front of the door.
Anger surged in my chest when I saw who it was.
“What are you doing here?”
I grabbed my cane from the side and faced Thaliana. I felt anger and pain as I looked at her.
“Which part of what I said last night don’t you understand? Miss Dela Vezca?”
“R-Rozzean… Manang told me you haven’t eaten since this morning. I-I cooked some food for you-”
I walked towards her and flipped what she was holding.
“You don’t care if I don’t eat, who do you think you are?”
I spoke continuously out of the anger I felt.
“I made a mistake… but I regret it, Rozzean…”
“I introduced myself as someone else, but everything I showed you here in your house is true. Even my feelings for you, I love you. I love you so much-”
I shook my head and spoke angrily.
“Shut up! just shut up! you made me look like a fool! you played with me, and now you’re telling me you love me? love me so much?! that damn love!”
“Were you happy?”
I felt extremely furious. I also saw fear in her eyes as she looked at me. We wouldn’t be in this situation if she hadn’t deceived me. If she hadn’t made a fool out of me.
She knew how much I loved Tali.
I proposed, and she even accepted it! She continued deceiving me even though there were so many opportunities to tell me the truth. If it had only been a few days, I might have understood, but no. It lasted until even my brother found out about her deception!
Even Luther conspired with her and deceived me.
“Were you happy while you were playing me in my own house, huh? And what kind of love are you talking about?”
“N-No… not like that, Rozzean. I made a mistake, I regret it, but please don’t question my love for you.”
It was hard for me to believe her, considering the anger I felt.
“I love you-”
How could she say those words to me, as if she did nothing wrong?
“Don’t f*cking say those words to me, Miss Dela Vezca. If you love me, why did you deceive me?”
“If you love me, why did you make a fool out of me?”
“R-Rozzean…”
Even how she says my name.
“Leave.”
“L-Listen to me… please… I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have done that. I-I’m so sorry… I know it’s wrong, I just found it hard to come back and explain everything because I couldn’t bear to leave you.”
I turned around and shouted Manang’s name.
“Manang!”
She fooled me. If I forgive her, she might just deceive me again. She did it once, and she can do it again.
“S-Sir…”
“Let her out.”
“T-Tali, are you okay?” I heard Manang ask.
In the corner of my eye, she looked down at Thaliana’s arms and hands. I wanted to face and look at her, but I stopped myself because I didn’t want to show any interest in her.
“I-I’m leaving now, but I won’t stop until you fully forgive me. I-I just hope… I just hope you’ve eaten, Rozzean. P-Please take care of yourself.”
When I heard what she said, I faced her again. My eyes dropped to her reddened arms and hands.
I felt self-directed anger when I realized I had hurt her. The food was hot, and when I flipped it earlier, it spilled on her.
Damn it. I was so mad earlier! so mad!
I turned to Manang to dismiss the concern I felt for Thaliana. Even though I was furious and found out she deceived me, I still felt worried. Damn.
“Throw away the food she cooked, Manang.”
“S-Sir?”
“I don’t want anything related to her in my house.”
As I was about to turn away again, I paused because I heard Luther’s voice.
“Thaliana.”
His eyes were on the floor. After the food had scattered, he approached Thaliana. I clenched my hands on my lap, especially when he held her by both arms.
Seeing Thaliana hurt in Luther’s grip, I cursed myself. I didn’t realize that the food was hot. I-I was not paying attention to it. I was so mad.
“Thaliana…” I heard Luther call her name again.
“What happened?”
Why is he treating her this way? What’s going on between them? Why is Thaliana letting Luther be this close to her? Why is she letting him wipe away her tears?
When Luther looked at me, I saw anger in his eyes.
“Rozzean Cyron.”
This was the first time he got angry like this again. Why? I should be the one getting angry because they deceived me.
I was just watching how close they were and how Luther wiped Thaliana’s tears again. I don’t like what I am seeing, and I feel… jealousy.
“We are going to leave; I will take you home. You can’t drive with the burns on your hands and arms,” Luther said to Thaliana.
I was left there, wondering what kind of relationship they have.