Chapter 32: Mere moments before the unknown
The day of the full moon, Riven's anxiety reeked all over the place. It wasn't just that he impatiently paced every room he was found in, or that he once every two seconds looked at the sky as if glaring at the sky would prevent the moon from coming today. The most obvious sign of anxiety was the way he either always touched me, or wasn't even present to the point where I had to search for him. That morning when we had both woken up in the same bed, his arms had been around me and his face had been buried into my shoulder as if to prevent me from going away. It had taken us both longer than usual to get out of the bed and when we did, Riven suggested that we'd make the food together, a habit we had picked up after the disastrous but still good pie baking.
His touches were small and subtle, but they were always there; his chin on my shoulder, his hand on mine, his hips pressed against me, a kiss on the forehead, on the cheek, on the lips. I allowed him the touches because they were better than the distance which was the second alternative to his nervousness. I knew why he was like this, even if I didn't want to think about it. There was no universe where I hadn't figured out what I knew now, that I could die tonight. Riven had told me about the beast's cries for me, how he'd felt it pull a little harder on its restraint every time we kissed, every time we touched. We'd already known that the werewolf wanted me as much as Riven did, but that was not the problem. The problem was that we didn't know if the beast was aware of its own strength. It had already happened sometimes that Riven was a little too tight on his grip or too violent with his bites (every time, Riven had apologised profusely and made it up to me in the best ways possible), so we didn't know if his beast side would be aware, or if its instincts would win and take from me one last time.
I didn't want to think about it because I had been busy finally adjusting and accepting my life. Two months in and I finally realised that I could have ended up somewhere way worse, that Riven could have been way worse and overpowered me without my consent, instead, I was stuck with a boy who was afraid that he was crossing my boundaries when he touched me too often and I knew that I wouldn't want it any other way. Death was hanging over me once again (it seemed to have been doing that a lot lately) and I should fear its breath on my neck, instead I feared nothing, and it was better that way.Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
I found Riven by the graveyard. Not crying or breaking down as I'd expected him to do, but just talking. I wasn't surprised to see the bottle in his hand as he sat in front of Xavier's grave, Theo's cross right next to it. He had given me no signs to reveal that I was watching, the whiskey in his hand usually dulled his senses, but I wouldn't be too surprised if I found out that he knew about my location. He continued talking, and I continued watching him from a distance, taking in every curve of his body and every word from his mouth.
"...and then as if the world actually hated us, we accidentally burned the outer parts of it," I recognised the description of our pie. "It was one of the worst things I've eaten in a while, but at the same time the best thing ever because it wasn't potatoes or bread with whatever source of protein we can get our hands on. You would have loved it, especially after complaining about the food merely three weeks in."
He took a large gulp from the bottle before he continued.
"What I wouldn't do to have pork again," Riven sighed. "Or perhaps rice? That would certainly be a pleasant surprise for a day."
Riven rose from the stone, and placed his hand on the top of Xavier's cross.
"I miss you, friend," Riven said. "We'll share a drink soon enough."
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He sealed the bottle and placed it in the tree trunk before turning around, eyes immediately landing on me. I held my breath as he approached, but he just smiled and intertwined our fingers before throwing one last look at the grave of his friend, sending his goodbye without words.
"Come on," Riven said as he looked back at me. "Let's go eat something before the dark closes in."
I looked up at the sky and saw that the sun was on its way to sunset, not having painted the sky yet but indicating the colours' arrival. I allowed him to drag me back to the house where he set the table, serving us baked bread and tomato soup as well as a piece of grilled meat on the side. We communicated as always and got caught up in an intruding discussion where we tried to determine what was the most useful vegetable, the squash or the tomato. I was determined on the tomato but Riven tried to convince me that he'd eaten more meals with complimentary squash than he'd done with tomatoes and I had thrown back that it was probably because he was a picky child. He had thrown his head back in laughter. When the darkness finally took its claim, we both moved to the outside, where the garden was once again illuminated by the magical moonlight. If it wasn't for the curse, this night would have been the first in many to give us a perfect sky for stargazing. It was not too chilly in the air nor was it too humid. It was caught in a comfortable temperature between and I caught myself thinking that it felt like a small blessing from the gods.
Riven pulled me into a kiss and held me there for as long as we both could master. This kiss was desperate, pleading, and revealing. It was all his emotions poured into the closed distance between our lips and I wished that I could do the same. Riven didn't want reassuring speeches, He had already told me that comforting words meant nothing without guarantee. And what he needed he'd taken in touch, not only now with his lips against mine but with every touch that had occurred during the day. He had grazed his finger over my skin and placed gentle kisses on my face to assure himself that I was real, and that this was still his.
Once the temperature around us dropped, Riven took several steps back. Hastily losing his clothes in the process until he was naked in the night. The moon above us made his skin sparkle like diamonds under its light, and even now, mere moments before the unknown, I found myself dazzled by his beauty. It took me all the willpower I had to keep myself from reaching out and touching him just to assure that he was still solid and real, and not some hallucination created by this place.
His eyes were on the sky and he stretched out his arms as if he was for the first time embracing the curse.
Then there was the sound of snapping bones.