The Impact of You

Chapter 23

Jase

I clean my room twice, even maneuvering the clunky vacuum up three flights of stairs, because I can’t remember the last time I actually used it, which means I’m probably due.

By the time I’m done, there are vacuum lines on the rug beside my bed, and the room smells like citrus furniture polish.

I can’t ever remember feeling this way about a girl before – it’s kind of intense. Avery and I are opposites in every way, yet still I love being around her. But maybe that’s why we work well together – I’m outgoing and she’s closed off; I’ve lived and taken chances where she’s been guarded; I pull her out of her shell and she keeps me sane. She gets my sense of humor; she hit it off with my mom, and last night… Fuck. Last night is in a category all its own. Watching her come undone like that. Man, that was hot. Tasting her, hearing her breathy moans, I’m half hard just thinking about it. Avery arouses so many emotions in me. I want to protect her, make her smile, and take care of her every need.

It’s a far cry from how I ever was with Stacia. I hate to say it, but I put myself before her needs pretty much every time. With Avery, putting her first is what I want. It’s weird.

I finish cleaning my room, lug the vacuum cleaner back downstairs and stash it in a closet that contains a half-inflated blow up doll and a collection of sports equipment. Then I jump in the shower. I want to be fresh for Avery. I even shave and take a little time on manscaping, making sure things are presentable in case she wants to venture south. It’s probably hopeful thinking on my part. But I want it to be her idea to go there. And I pray that she does, because as awesome as last night was, it was fucking hard. Literally. I barely constrained the urge to go jerk off while she was getting ready for bed. But I won’t pressure her. Clearly this is all new for her, and even though I don’t know much about her past yet, I know her jackass ex-boyfriend did something to make her cautious.

When Avery arrives I’ve just come back upstairs with popcorn and two cans of soda.

“Hey.” She smiles at me from the doorway, watching me inside my room.

“Hey.” I set down the snacks and turn to face her. She makes a pair of jeans and a gray T-shirt look sexy. And her hair is just the way I like it – tumbling loose around her shoulders. “Come here.”

I open my arms and Avery crosses the room, letting herself be pulled in against me. She rests her head against my chest and sighs contentedly. I wonder if I didn’t initiate the physical contact between us if she would, but I doubt it. My girl is as timid as they come. I hate whoever made her this way. I want her to tell me, to open up, but I trust that she will in time.

“You get to choose the movie,” I tell her, taking a step back to release her.

She nods and peruses the collection of movies. Most are comedies with dirty humor or horror flicks, but she doesn’t complain. She selects a paranormal thriller and hands it to me.

“Are you sure?”

She nods. “I love scary movies.”

“Really?” I’m not sure why, but this surprises me. Maybe because she’s so sweet and innocent. Either way, I love that she’s into it. I’ve wanted to see this movie for a while. “Well, if you get too scared and need to sleep over, you’re welcome to.” Smooth, Jase.

She grins crookedly. “Like a slumber party?”

“Ah no, not like a slumber party. Like me and you in my bed spooning and hopefully kissing.”

Her cheeks blush pink and she tips her head down. I can’t resist tipping her chin up with two fingers. I press a soft kiss to her mouth and then look at her to gauge her reaction. “Are you okay with what happened last night? I mean…you liked it, right?”

“I thought that was obvious, yes.”

I dare a step closer. “So maybe this whole tutoring thing can be extended a bit…”

Avery bites her bottom lip. “Extended how?”

“Hmm…” I place a hand on her waist, drawing her closer. “Let me show you.”

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the movie plays on my laptop, all but forgotten, and Avery is lying in my arms, resting her head in my favorite spot – in the center of my chest. Trailing my fingers lightly across her arms, I never want her to move from this spot. She fits perfectly tucked against me and her hair smells so good.

All too soon, Avery lifts her head to look up at me with sad eyes I wish were happy.

“Everything okay?” I ask. “Movie’s not too scary for you, is it?”

It’s more a psychological thriller than blood-and-gore, but she looks like something’s bothering her. I get the sense there’s something more on her mind than movies and cuddling. There’s a little crease in between her eyebrows and she drags her teeth across her bottom lip. ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“It’s…never mind.” She drops her head to my chest, nestling herself in once again.

I’m torn on whether or not to let it go, but there’s a nagging feeling inside me. I roll us over on the bed so I’m hovering over top of her. Her eyes widen in surprise as our aligned bodies command her attention. I smooth her hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ears. “Hey, you know you can talk to me, right?”

She nods. “I’m not ready yet. I don’t want things to end between us.”

My thumb lingers on her cheek. I want to tell her she’s wrong, that she’s safe and this isn’t going to end, but something gives me pause and instead I nod. “Okay.”

I lean in and kiss her, soft at first, but after a few moments our kisses turn deeper and her legs wind themselves around my back, and I’m reminded of how long it’s been since I was with anyone. Not good. I force a deep breath into my lungs and let it out slowly, focusing on slowing our pace, even as Avery’s tongue flirts relentlessly with mine. A small frustrated groan escapes her throat as she tightens her legs around my waist, forcing her pelvis to rub against mine. I give in and grind back against her, my body reacting to the friction. Shiiit. She feels too good.

Several minutes later I break away, breathless with desire and her sleepy eyes meet mine at the sudden halt in action. “Avery…if you’re not sure about going further, I’m going to need to stop.” I wish I could phrase it a more graceful way, but fuck, she’s gonna make me come.

I can tell she’s conflicted – her body wants this, but her head isn’t so sure. “Hey, it’s okay. I just… haven’t been with anyone in a while and a certain part of my body likes you rubbing against up against him.”

She smiles with understanding. “I know. My body likes you too. A lot.”

What is she telling me? Does she want to go farther? “Avery?”

She swallows, summoning her courage. “I hate that I have to think about this. I want this. I do. I just…”

“Shh.” I silence her with a quick kiss. She’s thinking way too hard. “You had fun last night, right?”

A silly grin curves her mouth upward. “What gave you that idea?”

I kiss her again. “Hm. It might have tipped me off when you were screaming my name…”

Her cheeks flush. “Jase…”

“Yeah, baby?”

She’s stewing, working her bottom lip in between her teeth. “I wish I could just let go, be with you like I want to.”

I think I understand what she’s saying. She hates how her wounded past makes her cautious. I get it. I do. There are certain events in life that change a person. Like with my mom. I’ll probably never be that same carefree guy again. I’ll be more watchful, more aware that everything can be taken away when you least expect it. I just wish I could make things easier for her. “Let me take care of you. No thinking tonight. Be with me like you want to. Let me make you feel good.”

She nods. “Yes.”

I lean toward her and drop a soft kiss against her mouth, her throat, the curve of collarbone. Taking my time, I remove each piece of her clothing, kissing her exposed skin as I go, but leaving her panties in place. That will have to be her decision to make. I pull my shirt off over my head, needing to feel her warm skin against mine. I kiss each breast, rub against the damp barrier her panties provide until she’s moaning my name. Reading her body, I push the fabric aside and give her the contact she needs. Her knees fall apart and she whimpers loudly, rolling her hips. Watching Avery come is fucking hot. Suddenly I’m harder than I’ve ever been, but then Avery’s reaching her warm hand into my boxers and stroking me. Faster than I would have thought possible, I lose it. I curl my hand around hers to shield her from the mess that empties from me.

“Fuck, Avery.” I breathe, planting a kiss against her temple.

She smiles, content and clearly pleased with herself over making me come.

I grab some tissues from beside my bed and clean us both off, then lie back beside her. “Stay the night with me?” I ask.

“Yes.” Her eyes blaze with confidence and certainty.

I get the feeling she’s saying yes to more than just a sleepover. She’s saying yes to me, to life, and I pull her against me and hold her tight.