The Love That Passed

Jared’s POV

With so many things that happened in my life, I was always in control. With business, I made sure to get the best and with mine and the company’s interest. Once I focused myself on something, victory and profit were guaranteed.

I thought I could do anything and nothing was impossible. I think highly of myself that I was brave in taking risks with all of the business decisions I ever made. But now, meeting and getting to know Coleen, made me realize that I am nothing but a fool and a coward.Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

I never take risks when it comes to my life, but Colleen was so brave to choose to fight for her and our baby’s life. She’s faced her illness by herself for many years and never lost hope.

Even if she was weak, she made herself appear fine and strong. Our baby will be brought to this world because her mother is a very strong-willed woman who was caring, loving and selfless.

After hearing what she wanted to do and attain, I fell in love with her deeper than I already was. I was listening to her reason for the cesarean section and I was glad to know that she was fighting really hard and giving the best that she can to win.

I was quiet the whole time that I was driving home. I can feel her looking at me from time to time and I’m sure she wanted to comfort me. I wanted to cry even when we were still in Dr. Gerard’s clinic but I didn’t want her to worry.

We arrived home and I went straight to our bedroom and I felt her following. As soon as she got in, I hugged her. She was shocked but she hugged me back. Then, I let it go. My feelings that I was holding on ever since I found her condition. I couldn’t help and stop myself from crying anymore.

“Shh, everything’s going to be alright.” She said, while she gave my back a light tap repeatedly. I was acting like a child that had done something wrong and she was my mother who understands me.

“I’m so sorry…” I said, “I’m really sorry for letting you down.” I added, now full of agony. I felt her chin on my shoulder and I didn’t want to see her face because I was sure that the moment I looked at her, my heart would be flooded with guilt. And I didn’t want her to see that because she’d worry for sure.

“You are already forgiven. How many times do I need to tell you that none of these were your fault?” She asked in a low voice. I know that she has been telling me that many times over and for a long time already. But what else can I do when it is how I feel?

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but feel that way,” I told her. I couldn’t hide it from her anymore. I was hurt and guilty at the same time. Everything could have been different if I had lent her the money she was asking before.

“Everything happens for a reason. That’s one thing I am aware of. There’s no need for you to repeatedly feel guilty towards my condition. If there was someone who was responsible for myself, it was none other than me.” she replied, “If you feel guilty about this, how much more do you think I will need to feel about it as well?” she added.

My tears that had been flowing continuously were wiped away by her. “I didn’t want to see you like this, hubby.” she said. I nodded my head because I didn’t have a choice. How can I let her worry about my own feelings as well when she is already in a situation wherein she will lose everything?

“From now on, let us live our life with no worries or even feeling guilty. We both know that I may not have much to spend, so we might as well spend the rest of my life with so much love and happiness.” she said. I nodded and decided to agree with her and I saw her smiling. “Thank you,” she said and gave me a kiss.

She was about to stop but I didn’t allow her. I still wanted to feel her lips on mine, so I pulled her closer. I had my forehead on hers after and stayed that way. She smiled and said, “Why do I have a feeling that you want me now, as much as I want you?”

“You just don’t know how much, wife.” I replied and hugged her tight. “You’re the best thing that happened to me. You and our baby.”

“Same here, hubby. You made me want to live even more,” she said, and for a moment I saw her face saddened. It was only for a brief moment because she looked at me with a smile on her face again, “Before, I only wanted to get things over with. But after I feel how important you are to me, I suddenly want to stay longer and be with you and our baby a little more.” she added.

I can feel her sadness, but she was so strong that she tried to hide it from me. Her voice was low and hoarse and it didn’t take a genius to realize that. “Let’s be happy for now that we found out that our baby is healthy and does not affect you in any way.”

“The baby does affect me,” she said and I looked at her worriedly. “But in a good way,” she added, looking at me and I smiled, “Our baby made me want to live more and fight to extend it.” she continued. Thank God that she really is a strong willed person.

“We will go and find a way to make that happen, wife. I promise you that.” I said,

“Yes, we will.” she replied with her eyes full of hope, looking at mine. Then I kissed her once more and she responded. Making love with her is the most genuine and pure I ever had.

“As much as I want to have you now, but I have to consider your condition so I will only let myself be happy with just kissing.” I told her, laughing.

“And that made me even more thankful. You are so understanding,” she replied.

“Of course, as I already said, I love you more than I want you.” I reminded her. “I don’t want to have you only to have to lose you sooner. I never felt this kind of love before and you made me feel it. You made me experience a relationship that is bound by real love and lust was not necessary. Just pure love and I like it.”