The Mate He Hates

Alpha Edward’s POV

I flung away the files stacked up on my desk. My mind was a mess. Ever since Amanda left, I have never been myself. It felt as if a part of me left with her. I couldn’t explain how I became so attached to her. I thought it would be easy to forget about her. In fact, I have had countless sex over the weeks, thinking that perhaps it would help me forget about her, but alas, I was wrong. I couldn’t take my mind off her. I thought of her every single day. I imagined her in my head. I thought of the sex we had in the garden. Those images were unable to leave my mind; it seemed they were stuck there forever.

I wished I could have her back. I wished I could go over to France and bring her back, but I didn’t have any right to do so. She was the mate of my best friend and beta. How could I fight for her? What would people say? That I was fighting over a woman who is the mate of my beta? Sighing exhausted, I leaned on my seat, but just then, a knock came on my door. Sensing it was Matthew, I asked him in. Walking into my study, I could see the baffled look on his face when he glanced at the scattered files and documents on the floor.

“Is everything okay?” His voice was filled with concern, but I didn’t give him a response. Instead, I closed my eyes and thought of Amanda. Somehow, I wished she was mine and not his. I know I wasn’t deserving of her, but then everyone deserves a second chance. I deserve a second chance.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to send for the physician or a healer?” Matthew suggested, but I groaned outwardly. The only person I needed was Amanda. Noticing I wasn’t in a good mood, Matthew decided to stop asking questions. An awkward silence hung in the air until I had to ask out of curiosity.

“How is she?” I asked, referring to Amanda. Matthew was silent for a moment. “She is doing great. I spoke with her a moment ago,” he responded, and a surge of jealousy stirred within me. I wished I could talk to her too. I wanted to see her, hear her voice, and hold her once more in my arms, but I couldn’t. She belonged to another, not just anyone but to my best friend and beta. Opening my eyes, I held gaze with Matthew, who was staring back at me.

“How are you able to do it?” I popped up the question and saw him furrow his brow, probably confused by my question. “She is your mate. How could you stay away from her?” I questioned. She wasn’t mine, but staying away from her was driving me insane.

Matthew sighed and took a deep breath. I noticed him pondering in thought for a moment before he looked up at me. “I have no choice but to send her away. This place and country hold so many hurtful memories for her, and as her mate, I have to do what is best for her. The best for her is by sending her away…” he paused and swallowed hard. “I wish to be with her, but as you know, I can’t neglect my duty. But I will go visit her from time to time.”

As Matthew spoke, a pang of guilt hit me. Here I was, wallowing in self-pity over my own desires, while Matthew, despite his own longing, was prioritizing Amanda’s well-being above all else. His words echoed in my mind, reminding me that I wasn’t fit for her and would never be. Yet, despite that, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of wanting Amanda for myself. It was selfish and irrational, but my heart refused to listen to reason. She had become a desire, a constant presence in my thoughts that I couldn’t escape.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

“I will take my leave,” Matthew bowed before leaving. After he left, I got up and began strolling around my study. I walked over to the mini-bar, took out a bottle of whiskey, poured it into a glass, and had a long sip of it. It was surprising how I hadn’t really thought of finding the girl who had saved me, who might turn out to be my mate. Ever since knowing the truth that Elisa wasn’t my mate, my thoughts had been fixed on Amanda. I couldn’t get her off my mind.

A knock landed on my door, and I asked the person in. The door opened, and it was Levi. Our glances interlocked, and I glared at him. “What are you doing here?” I groaned. He was the last person I wanted to see.

“Calm down, cousin. I’m not here to fight,” he lifted his hands as a sign of surrender. “Then what do you want? Say it and get out!” Levi moved over to where I stood, his eyes interlocking with mine. He had a blank look on his face, which made it hard for me to detect what he was up to.

“I came to inform you that I am leaving; everything has been settled,” he announced, and my brow furrowed. I was confused about why he was telling me this and why his voice sounded softer. I shrugged. “Good for you.” I walked away from him, went over to my desk, and sat behind it. I expected him to leave, but he didn’t. Rather, he remained where he stood, and that made me raise a questioning brow at him.

“Is there something else you want to say?” He nodded and took another step closer to me. I watched him hesitate for a moment before he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, and I had to lift my brow at him. Perhaps I heard him wrong.

“I’m sorry for causing you pain and breaking the bond we had as brothers.” His words were filled with so much sincerity. “Believe me, I never wanted all this. I never wanted anything to do with Veronica, but…” he hesitated for a moment before he continued. “She was the one who seduced me herself. She told me that despite being mated with you, she didn’t want you. It was me she wanted. She said she knew you were going to be an alpha, and you would be too busy to even be with her, and she didn’t want such a life of bondage. She didn’t wish to be a Luna; she didn’t want to be a leader with people watching over her. To her, she felt caged being with you.” A lump formed in my throat, and a sudden pain struck my chest. It was heartbreaking to know all this.

“I should have told you. I shouldn’t have kept it to myself, but I didn’t want you to feel bad, so I decided to keep it to myself while I continued rejecting her, but…” he inhaled deeply. “I fell into her seduction, and we had sex. I thought you would feel it, but surprisingly, you didn’t, so we continued having secret affairs.” I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists.

“That faithful day we boarded the boat, I had no idea she didn’t know how to swim. If I had known, I wouldn’t have let her come on board with me. Everything happened so fast that I still can’t explain it…” I noticed tears welling in his eyes. It seemed he was having an emotional breakdown, which made me wonder what had gotten into him and why he was acting this way.

“After she was confirmed dead, and you came to know the truth, I wanted to plead with you and tell you the whole truth, but I held back…” I noticed him swallowing in pain. “I’m so sorry, cousin. I’m not asking you to forgive me; I just want you to know how truly sorry I am…” He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them. “I can’t believe I have turned into something else. I can’t believe this is me…”

I was baffled by his sudden remorse. What had gotten into him? Was he in some sort of trouble and needed my help? That was the only explanation I could come up with.

“I will be taking my leave…” He wanted to leave, but I stopped him. “Are you in any sort of trouble?” I asked with concern. No matter what, he was still my cousin, and if anything happened to him, it would really affect my aunt, and I can’t bear that.

“You think I’m saying all this because I might be in some sort of trouble?”

I groaned. “Lay down your pride and just tell me what is wrong. What trouble are you in this time?” I demanded.

Levi shook his head. “I’m not in any sort of trouble. In fact, someone was kind enough to help me out of my situation.” I furrowed my brow at his words.

“Yes, cousin, I’m no longer in trouble. In fact, I’m a free man.” He gave a bitter laugh which worried me. I was concerned about him; something didn’t seem right.

“My ride is already waiting, so with your permission, I will take my leave.” With that, he turned and walked over to the door. I watched him grab the doorknob, but he stopped and looked back at me. “Sometimes what we are searching for is right with us; all we have to do is look deeper and carefully.” With those words, he opened the door and left the room.

Confused, I pondered his words, wondering what he meant by his parable, but I couldn’t make any meaning of it.