Chapter 86
“Are you alright?” Christie’s voice came pierced through my thinking and brought me back to reality.
I offered the maid a small smile and picked up the knife that I had dropped previously to press the back of my palms to my head when it had begun to throb.
“Of course, why?” I replied, trying my best to sound as cheerful as possible, but I could see I had overdone it from the way the maids face furrowed even more in suspicion.
“Well I understand it’s been really hard for you recently and all, I just think you’re becoming a different person. You’re a lot more quiet nowadays and you’re always thinking. I mean I understand that everything that has happened has definitely really hit you hard but it feels even worse now, you know.”
When Christie stopped talking, I paused for a couple of seconds to take in her words. I knew for a fact that I changed since after the incident, but I didn’t think that I had changed even more recently.
“I-I’m sorry. I know it’s not my place. I just want you to be fine and be happy again.” Christie apologized when I stayed silent for too long.
“No, no, Christie it’s absolutely fine and I appreciate you so much for looking out for me. I just didn’t realize that I was acting even more differently now than when I got home again.”
“Well, it just started three days ago when you came back from your lunch. That’s why I’m worried something happened because you have like this frown on your face constantly and you’re always lost in thought and have this faraway look in your eyes. I’m worried something more might have happened.”
“I didn’t realize, but I’m fine thank you.” I said to my friend and then went back to the vegetables in front of me.
Well I definitely had more things to think about especially since Smith dropped the bombshell about us being siblings. It wasn’t something I had ever expected and to say that it shocked me would be an understatement.
I didn’t think that I had any family left. My mother left the SilverMoon Pack after it became unbearable for her. The Pack just had very strict laws, the Alpha had no regard for his people and as a result many suffered and life was intolerable.
I had spent the most of my childhood and teen years with my aunty and maybe a large part of me was still very upset with my mother for choosing to leave me behind in the pack to go through everything I went through, but I really preferred to not even think about her, so I didn’t ask any questions about her or about having other family members.
I had been told that my father died before I was born but there had never been a mention of a brother. Smith claimed that he didn’t have any knowledge of me too as he had been separated from the family even before I was born. He had not given any more explanation to that and at this point, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know.
Neither of us had heard a word from our mother, or the rest of the family that we left behind and quite frankly, I preferred it this way.
I had told Greyson about it while we had lunch later that day and he claimed to already know but didn’t want to tell me because he believed it would be best if it came from Smith.
Three days later and I was still trying to wrap my mind around the situation. For the longest time, I believed that I didn’t have any family and when Jessy came, she became the only family that I had, so this discovery was definitely a little too much for me especially at this time.
Maybe I should have put away the thinking and concentrated more on the task before me. I felt the pain first before any other thing registered and when I was able to focus, it was to find that I had almost sliced through a finger completely.
“Goddess!”
I rushed over to the tap and dunked my finger underneath, hissing when the cold water hit the wound.
“Freya! Are you okay?! Shit, that looks deep. I’ll get the first aid kit.” Christie offered and ran out of the kitchen.
I was thankful that the knife had only cut through a finger and not more because the pain was crazy and I didn’t want to think of what it would be like if it had been more fingers.
Christie was back soon with the first aid kit and after cleaning up the wound gently with some saline solution, she applied a plaster and the cut felt a little better once she was done.
“Thank you. This feels much better actually.” I admitted and the maid flushed from the compliment.
“Well, I think that’s the end of your cooking this evening especially since I can’t trust you with a knife in my absence.” She joked and I offered her a small smile before leaving the kitchen.
Cooking always had a way of bringing me a sense of purpose and once I got back, it was the activity I indulged the most, since Christie usually helped as much as she could and Clara didn’t have enough reasons to stop me from doing it.
It just made me happy to still be able to think that I could take care of my family in this little way. That I wasn’t a complete disappointment to them and I wasn’t failing them all round too.
And so I took it very personally especially lately. I made breakfast, lunch and dinner. I even made extras whenever I could. Desserts, snacks and the rest. Just being in the kitchen kept me happy and it kept me busy and so I indulged it as much as I could.
“No you gotta do it like this Simon.” I heard Jessy’s voice come from her slightly opened door and it warned my heart the way it always did.
After I had been found, Emilia had insisted on leaving the house. She said she no longer felt needed and felt like she was imposing on the family with her presence. No matter how much Greyson and I tried to convince her otherwise, it had only proved futile.
She said that since she wasn’t a maid here anymore, she wanted to build a life outside of these walls and just find some sense of purpose with her life once more.
I understood her a lot, in everything that had happened, Emilia had also lost a lot and at a point she had almost lost her life too so it was fine that she was still trying to heal and move on from it all.
She still visited the house very often to see Simon who had definitely become a part of our family and I was most thankful to the maid for helping them find me.
“Hi mommy!” Jessy called out the moment she noticed me standing by the doorway.
I moved completely into the room and settled beside the children, offering them both a smile.
“Hi honey. What are you both up to?” I asked even when I could see clearly what they were doing.
“We drawing bunnies, but Simon is making the eaws small.”
I laughed at that. There were just some things that would never change. Like Jessy’s love for big bunny ears and that was very comforting. Greyson had of course fueled her bunny love by getting her lots of different bunny toys and had even gone ahead to promise the four years old a real bunny.
I wasn’t looking forward to that happening because that would just be a lot of mess and I was very worried that Jessy would insist on taking the bunny everywhere she went, including school.
“Well, it’s his bunny honey. Don’t you think he gets to make the ears the size he wants them?” I asked, trying to reason with my child.
“B-but bunny eaws have to be big.” She insisted.
I was about to tell her to let her friend be but he spoke before I could.
“It’s okay. I can make it big. I’ll just add it like this.” The boy said, making bigger ears over the smaller ones he had initially drawn.
“See” He said to Jessy and she beamed happily at the new ears.
I didn’t want Jessy to think that she could always get what she wanted in that manner or dictate what other people got to do and so I let her know that Simon could draw however he wished to.
But it was nice to see how Simon treated Jessy with so much care and gentleness. He acted like a big brother to her and always did the most to make sure she was happy, satisfied and comfortable.
Jessy never came home from school with a scratch or unhappy and I knew that Simon had a big hand in that. It was so pleasing to see and it made me really happy.
I watched them draw for another five minutes before placing kisses on their heads and leaving the room to the master’s bedroom where I settled on the bed afterwards.Owned by NôvelDrama.Org.
Greyson was out, taking care of some things but he had promised that he would be home for dinner.
I loved the man so much but I was really scared for our relationship. It just truly felt like love wasn’t enough anymore.
I couldn’t tell what it was but I knew that we were both drifting apart every single day but neither of us wanted to address it.
I hated how gentle he had become with me. It had been a huge fight with him when I insisted on cooking so much and it had taken Clara reassuring him that I would be fine before he eventually let me do it.
I knew that he was still scared about everything that had happened and that he was being cautious but he just didn’t realize that I couldn’t move on if he didn’t.
There were no more kisses or anything sexual between us. It was always about him making sure I was okay and I wasn’t hurting anywhere.
I loved this side of him and I appreciated it but I really loved the way our relationship was before all of this, I loved our intimacy, I loved that he was willing to train me at a point before we found out about the twins.
Now he would shut me down and ask me to forget about training whenever I asked because he didn’t want me to get hurt. I couldn’t go anywhere without him or without an escort and it drove me mad that I couldn’t go out in the evenings for a stroll to release some of the tensions inside me.
I understood that he was being careful and looking out for me as best as possible. But I have also realized that there wasn’t a lot we could do. If there were still people that wanted to get to me then they would, regardless of how much security or precautions he took. I needed him to understand that.
I couldn’t remember falling asleep but I woke up to something tickling my cheeks and when I opened my eyes it was to find Greyson trailing a finger on my face.
“Hi.” He greeted when I opened my eyes. I offered him a small smile and returned the greeting.
“When did you get home?” I asked, sitting up in bed and stretching a little.
“Now. You look tired. Should I have let you sleep some more? I wanted you to join us for dinner that’s why I woke you up.” He said.
“No, no it’s fine. I think I’ve had enough sleep. How was your day?”
“Good good. We made a lot of progress today and I think it will only get eas…. What is that?”
I followed his eyes to the little bandage that Christie had wrapped around my finger.
“Oh, I cut myself a little while I was cooking dinner earlier in the evening.”
“You what?”
I didn’t expect Greyson to shout as loud as he just did and so I jumped a little when he did.
“You see Freya, this is why I don’t want you doing stuff like this. You should be in this room resting! To avoid things like this.”
Rage overcame my entire frame at his words and I moved off the bed so I could better express myself.
“What? This is a simple cut Greyson. In case you don’t know, it usually happens. I’m not dying, it’s just a simple cut! How long do you expect me to be locked in here? What do you recommend I do in this bedroom all day long?”
“I don’t know Freya! Read a book maybe? Do something on your cellphone? Sleep? Any fucking thing that doesn’t involve you getting yourself hurt!”
I had never heard Greyson scream at me in the way that he was doing currently and hearing him do it and say the things he was saying, broke the straw for me.
I didn’t think I could do this anymore. I would just eventually go crazy.
I didn’t say anything to him, I only walked into the closet and pulled out a pair of shoes which I slipped onto my feet before exiting the closet once more and then heading out of the room.
“Where the hell are you going?!” I heard Greyson shout after me as I exited the room.
“Away from you and this madness.” I ran down the stairs as I spoke.
“Freya, you know how dangerous it is for you out there. You can’t just leave the house like that!”
“I will rather be outside with whatever dangerous thing is lurking out there specifically for me than to be here and pretend like I’m okay with this nonsense you’re doing.”
I didn’t wait for Greyson to say another word, before I was moving out of the door and slamming it shut in his face.
I began walking out of the mansion. I had no idea where I was going but one thing I knew was that I needed fresh air. I wanted to go far away from Greyson at the moment and just collect my thoughts.