Unspoken Pleasure

I'm not sure how much time we spent in my bed. I lost track of everything except for the feel of my sister under my fingers. The sweetness of her breath on my cheek. Neither of us fell asleep, that was for sure. Eventually, Betsy pulled back. My lips ached from all the kissing we'd been doing, but I still felt the disappointment well up in my chest.

"That should keep me," Betsy said, "At least for a few hours."

I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Right now, I feel pretty warm," Betsy said, "As warm as I get anyway. But once we break apart it slips away. I'm cold by the time I'm back in bed. But last night, after the kiss, it kinda lasted for a while. Long enough for me to fall asleep. I guess it's like charging up my heat battery. Your kisses are more efficient than your hugs or something."

"And you feel like you'll be OK now?"

"Hope so," Betsy said. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before she scampered out of my room.

I lay back, arms behind my head on the pillow. A strange sense of satisfaction washed over me. I felt completely at ease with the world. Like I was drifting down a broad stream on a warm summer day. My door popped back open.

"Hey," Betsy called into my room, "Camp is off tomorrow for some reason, you want to meet for lunch?"

My work schedule was busy, but never so much that I couldn't step out for a quick bite. I nodded my agreement and my little sister smiled so bright it lit the room.

*

We met at an outdoor cafe, one of those cute seafood places on a dock near the water that you find every three feet on the Florida coast. We sat in the afternoon heat and ate our sandwiches (we both got the mahi-mahi), chatting idly about school and life. Even though we were out on a metal jetty under the blistering sun, Betsy was dressed in her usual heavy outfit; like it might snow at any second. I got sweaty just looking at her.

We didn't make out or even kiss. At one point, Betsy held my hand, but only for a little bit. We didn't act in any way different than what we were, a brother and sister enjoying lunch together. And yet, it so very much obviously a date between the two of us, it felt scandalous.

Midway through our meal, Betsy's head popped up. Like a thought had just occurred to her.

"Why are you single?" she asked, out of nowhere.

"What?" I nearly fell back out of my chair. I knew my sister wasn't trying to be hurtful, but the question was so direct I didn't know how to respond to it.

"Sorry," Betsy said, "You only caught the tail end of the conversation I was having in my head."

I nodded like that made any sense.

"I was thinking about how nice it was to sit here with you," Betsy said, tossing her long brown braid behind her shoulder, "And how it would be a nice date if we weren't well, you know." "Related?"

"Exactly," Betsy said, "And that got me thinking about what a great boyfriend you'd be. I mean, you're cute and tall. You've got a good body. Your hugs are lovely, and your kisses are, well, better than a sister should know, anyway."

I felt my cheeks go hot. I looked down and tried to hide it with my sandwich, but I was smiling too hard to take a bite.

"And you're a good guy. Funny and caring. I like spending time with you more than just about anyone. Truly."

"Which led you to the thought you finally spoke aloud," I said, "Why am I single?"

"Yes," Betsy said. She looked positively thrilled with my ability to complete her broken thoughts. "Do you want to be?" "No," I said, "I miss a lot of things that go with being in a relationship. Of course, there's the, um, physical stuff. You know?" This time, Betsy looked down and blushed.

"But mostly I just like having that emotional connection. That's why Mel and I broke up. I realized that we were faking it. I wanted more. But finding that is hard. You don't get there after a few dates, if you even get that far." "Having the finish line feel so distant makes it hard to start," Betsy said, "But you still have to begin."

"I've tried," I said, "Am trying. But right now, not so much. What about you? You're cute and funny. Smart and se... I mean, you're alright for a sister. So, are you choosing to be single or has the universe forced it on you?" "Somewhere in between," Betsy said.

The waitress came by and cleared our plates. I sat patiently and waited while that business was done so that my sister could explain herself.

"Unlike my brother, who is pretty great for a brother, most guys are only interested in one thing," Betsy said.

"Icthyology," I said, nodding empathetically.

Betsy tried not to laugh at my dad joke, but she did anyway. Then she glared at me for making her do it.

"In any case, I'm not ready for that yet," Betsy said, "I'm not a prude. I'd like to do more stuff. But I need to cross the emotional bridge before I can get there, and most guys aren't willing to take the time. So, I'm single by choice, in that the world is full of stupid boys who can't be bothered to fill my heart before they stuff it in... Well, other places."

"I'm sorry, Bets," I said, meaning it.

"Sometimes I'm glad that I'm cold all the time," Betsy said. She gestured at her outfit of sweats, more sweats, and then more sweats. "Wearing all of this? It's like a suit of armor that keeps me protected and safe. Imagine if I walked around like her."

Betsy pointed to a skinny blonde wearing an outfit that may as well have been two hand towels strapped to her body with rubber bands. I had to admit, while parts of me might have liked that look, my brain thought it looked pretty ridiculous. "Maybe somewhere in between would be alright," I said.All rights © NôvelDrama.Org.

Betsy smiled at me, wistfully. "Maybe. If I was warm."

After we paid the check, Betsy got up from her seat and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. I drove back to the office, feeling so high that I could have walked the whole way. My feet wouldn't have ever touched the ground.