I’m Just His Wife

Because of the heavy downpour their passionate weeping could not be seen.

Ivan tried to touch Rigella again and he succeeded. The woman could no longer restrain him due to extreme weakness.

She just realized that she had to quit because she was no longer happy, and there was no cure for the fool if not initiative. If Ivan doesn’t want to let him go, he’ll be the one to fix everything.

“Rigella … were you still going to give up? This was just a little conflict. It’s still good-”

“No! I don’t want to, Ivan. Please, let me make my decision. It’s too much pain! In seven years, no, for eight years already! I haven’t felt anything but pain. That guy, jealous jealous that I am because Lara was the only one you love, the only one you care about, the only one you care about. That she was the only one in your heart! It’s hard to be jealous because I feel I have no right even if I’m your wife! ” Rigella’s sobbing promise made Ivan’s heart ache.

He was speechless at what his wife said. He’s very aware of all of that! So that he was recovering from his shortcomings with Rigella.

The only thing that hurts her was, why would Rigella be released now when she has already decided to love and take care of her? That’s all!

And hell! He didn’t expect that Lara will get pregnant. He thought she was on pills because it was forbidden for her to get pregnant because of her career as an actress.

Rigella, on the other hand can’t bear the pain anymore but she can still manage to speak. In order for him to end it all he had to be steadfast.

“Now, I promise myself that I will never shrink my world once I turned you around. You’re scary to love, Ivan. I just wanted to be the person you’re scared to lose. I loved you too and I gave the all of you but still lacking. Am I really that hard to love? ” He asked. She had wanted to ask Ivan this for a long time but she didn’t have the chance and bravery.

He shakes his head continuously. “No … no, please don’t say that. You’re not hard to love. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Please, don’t leave me …” he begged and kissed his wife’s hand.

Rigella closes her eyes tightly and suppresses her sob. He could hardly feel the wetness from the rain because of the pain in his chest. She lost her baby and her parents. And now … she’s going to lose Ivan, the man she loves the most.

He didn’t think that in the middle of the rain, his favorite event, Ivan and I would finally separate.

“No, no please …” he pleaded.

Rigella just nodded. “I’m done. I’m done loving you alone. I’m done hoping that you will love me back and I’m done crying myself to sleep. You’re just not worth it anymore …” he retracted his hand to Ivan and moved away a little from it. “Nothing hurts more than being ignored, replaced, forgotten or lied to. And yeah, you damn did all of that to me! You made me feel like I’m just a nonsense girl! You hurt me so much! I’m too tired, I want to rest. I’m tired of waiting. So please, let me go. Just be the father of your daughter Lara … ”

Thousands of needles pierced Ivan’s heart and weakly bit his lip while silently crying. He knows it’s his fault. He made her realize that way!

He gathered the remaining strength and pulled Rigella into a hug. They’re both soaking wet because of the rain but they didn’t bother it anymore.

Rigella struggled but she tightened her grip on it. He doesn’t want her to slip away from him! He can’t! Never!

“Please, don’t ever say that again. I won’t leave you. I love you baby, please … don’t say that.” He begs for a promise.

Rigella stopped struggling and kept her clenched fist on Ivan’s chest. There she wept and hugged Ivan back.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Damn you! I’ve waited for years just to hear those three words from you! Why now ?!” He whispered in her ear. The last time Ivan said ‘I love you’ was in the hospital and … she didn’t take that seriously so …

“I’m sorry, baby. Please … believe me, I love you. I won’t let you go …” Ivan sobbed and kissed Rigella’s forehead. The last time Ivan said ‘I love you’ was in the hospital and … she didn’t take that seriously so …

And the painful three words under the rain was finally said …

Rigella’s POV

I’ve learned from life that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to brightest places. That our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make a room for the most wonderful people.

I’ve learned that what seems like a curse at the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road was actually just the discovery that we were meant to travel down the different path.

I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there was always hope and I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up.

We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward because whatever we’re battling at the moment, it will pass and, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next.

“Mom?”

I blinked my eyes when my secretary called my name. I don’t even notice that I’m already preoccupied. I sighed and smiled at her.

“What was it, Zella?” I asked.

“I just wanted to inform you that you have no schedules for today, Mam. If you want to go home already, I will take charge of everything.” She said with formality.

I bit my lower lip so hard and leaned back in my swivel chair. This past few weeks I’ve been busy here in the office so I breathed a sigh of relief when Zella said I don’t have an appointment now. I badly need a rest.

I shook my head. “No need. I won’t go home first because there might be a sudden emergency meeting. I’ll just call you when I need you.”

He nodded. “Alright, Mam. I better get going.”

I smiled a bit. “Sure …”

She bowed her head for the second time and I watched her as she leaves my office. Zella was one of the people that I can trust wholly.

I folded my hands and rested my elbows on my office table. The month of December was really my busiest month. Many order us sweaters, jackets and scarfs. It’s cold here in Los Angeles and a few days to go, it’s Christmas.

I’ve been living here in LA for about … five years and I can say that this place became my comfort zone. I live quietly here and I have fun whenever I want. This was the life I want. Indeed, the most important thing was to enjoy your life and be happy- it’s all that matters.

And for the past five years, I kept myself busy with work. I’m now managing my own Clothing Company and I can say that I’m really enjoying it. This was really my dream since I was a child and now, I already achieved it.

It’s really sad that I’m not with my parents in reaching these dreams but … they were my inspiration to strive for this dream. And now, this company was successful and our companies and boutiques have many branches all over the world.

But despite that, I never showed myself in public … maybe only employees in the main branch of the company know me and a few investors. There was a chance that someone will know me and I didn’t want to then. People who know me might just judge me because of the height of my achievements.

It’s not that I’m scared of it. I just really don’t want to get involved in issues like that so I haven’t revealed my true identity yet. But maybe soon, I can introduce myself to the public but not for now. I’m just taking my warm up for now.

Also during the five years I have been here in America a lot has happened. I also went through a lot of trials but I think about what I went through before, it was not even within the fingertips of what I went through here so I was really calm.

And of course, I have Roxanne and Seymour on my side and they helped me in every single thing I do and I owe them so much for that. I may have my failures sometimes but, they still got my back. They really were my best friend, my true friends.

But sometimes, I can’t help myself but to think about him.

Moving on was never been easy, anyway. It’s so hard starting a Chapters of your life without the person you used to have. It’s really difficult waking up each day knowing that everything has changed. But I realized, life does not end there and everything happens for a reason. It will be hard at first, of course. You will have difficulty of sleeping, eating and facing life but in the long run you will eventually be excited with life again. Feel the pain, cry it all out. It does not make you less of a person if you do. After all, you will be fine.

I loved him then and I became too stupid. Maybe that’s enough for me to learn.

I sighed then get a book from my mini book shelf and read it to somehow lessen my boredom.

According to Nicholas Sparks, Marriage was about becoming a team. You’re going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage was that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you’ll always figure out a way to get through it.