Chapter 43
A bitter smile was formed on my lips. Being engaged into a marriage was the last thing that I would do in my whole life. I’m scared of marriage because I don’t want to be tied to someone who won’t appreciate me and will only hurt me.
Seriously speaking, I actually believe that you shouldn’t stress yourself at the past because there was nothing you can do to change it, that you should focus on the the present and create your future. But seriously speaking too, I can’t actually apply that to myself and I don’t know why.
I closed the book and put it back on the mini book shelf.
The chapters of my life at the past were really painful and heartbreaking. But, it was my destiny to experience that. And also, the struggles that I experienced made me strong again, like the old times.Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.
I guess, that was all worth it. Because that made the new version of me.
And hey, I’m happy to introduce the new me in all of you.
I finally signed of being Rigella Crisostomo-De Leon and I’m happy to tell you all that … I changed. Like my name …
Because I am now called as Andrea Steinfields. The woman who was fiercer, and better than before …
***
Andrea’s POV
I’m currently practicing gun firing. For five years, I have mastered it and it has also served as my stress reliever. The reason why I need to train this? For safety purposes. Who knows, maybe when someone finds out my real identity, he’ll just kill me.
Honestly, I have received many death threats but they just know me as Ms. Steinfields. Well maybe because of being number one of my Steinfields Clothing Company worldwide.
Without any mercy, I shot the head of the mannequin. And as expected, i hit the bull’s eye.
I grinned and put down my used gun. This was not the only thing I have learned in five years. I also mastered all the tactics and combat skills including long range shooting and sword mastery.
The weather was hard now, too dangerous. And I can proudly say that I can now kill without mercy. Anyone who will get in my way will die.
I immediately took a picture of Lara on the head of the mannequin and saw that half of her body was pierced in the picture. This was how I release my stress. Through this, I am able to do the things I want to do without that shameless woman.
Without emotion I tore up his picture and trampled on it. I would love to do this with her but now was not the right time. Not now, but sooner.
Every time I remember my stupidities then I get angry with myself. Why was I so weak then? Why did I let them hurt me like that? Why … why did I love that man so much?
I pulled a picture of him from my black slacks and stuffed it with a bad look.
At first glance, you thought he was an angel because of his very clean smile in the photo. I sighed and gritted my teeth. Because of him, my life became miserable then. He was one of those I regret I gave all my trust and love to.
I suddenly remembered the reason why I left him. That was painful but now, it’s already numb. My heart was already numb.
Flashback
Ivan and I were now sitting under a tree and … we’re both soaking wet because of the rain. It rained on us and the rain hadn’t stopped yet so we stayed here under the tree first. And seriously, I’m getting cold too but I have no choice but to wait for the rain to stop.
Our fingers were intertwined tightly, like I can’t even escape away from him. My head also rested on his shoulder and we both watched the heavy rain pour down.
This was the second time that I asked him to let me go. And here it was again, I didn’t succeed. But worth it because I’ve already heard those three words that I’ve been waiting so long for him to say to me.
And, yeah. The long wait was over. Indeed, the longer you wait for something, the more you appreciate it, because anything that worth having was definitely worth waiting for.
Truly, even magical words can give lights to a darkest world. My formerly dark world came to light again because of those three words.
“I love you …” he whispered at my ear and kissed my forehead after. This was the sweetest gesture of him that I’ve ever experienced.
I turned to him and smiled. A tear escaped from my left eye. “I … I love you too, Ivan.” I shivered a little from the cold and I knew he felt that.
He enveloped his arms around my body and I felt the heat. Finally, I’m really feeling cold.
“I’m sorry for the mistakes that I’ve done to you. I’m just confused that time and … I never thought that you will decide to leave me. It’s just that maybe I believed that you loved me too much and didn’t You can leave me so I didn’t really expect that. Believe me or not, I never expected that I will feel this kind of feeling towards you. I just woke up one day that … I already realized that I love you … “he said and I can hear and see that sincerity on him.
I just smiled and caressed his cheek. “It’s okay, Ivan. I understand you. Besides, I’m happy now because you love me too …” I said passionately.
He just did stare at me and my heart was beating so fast because I can see the love on his eyes. Finally! After eight years, I finally get his heart.
“I’m so lucky to have a wife like you. Maybe I’m just really stupid to hurt you. Hopefully, I felt it before so that you wouldn’t be hurt again. I regret those stupid actions with all of my heart. I hope, you will forgive me … ”
I bit my lower lip and stared at him. Who would’ve thought that I suffered eight years just to gain this man’s heart?
I close my eyes as he touches his soft lips to mine. His lips aren’t moving but I can feel the emotions running through it. It took a few seconds and when he parted his lips from mine I was stunned. He already parted our lips but he rested his forehead on mine.
“No matter how painful it was, I will still forgive you, Ivan. It’s enough for me to tell you that you love me. My sufferings were all worth it and thank you for making it worth while …” I whispered .
He smiled and claimed my lips again. I saw us smile together before I blinked. I responded on his kisses. This was the best feeling ever. To be with him with the love that mediates between the two of us.
It’s been three days since the day Ivan confessed his true feelings towards me and I can say that he really changed. He has become more alert now and he no longer hurts me. And most of all, he always say ‘I love you’ whenever he see me or talk to me.
Sometimes out of nowhere he says he loves me and I admit, it makes me giggle and feeling loved.
And as for their child Lara, I already accepted the fact that she will have a child with her. Maybe, I still feel a little pain but you were slowly disappearing because Ivan was proving that he loves me.
Today, he also returned to work because he will still take care of the company left by Dad as well as the properties of my parents. They will be buried tomorrow so I am here today in the chapel to be with them even for a moment.
Kuya Ryan was allowed by the police to be buried but he had to be with them. It was really sad that my brother was imprisoned for his illegal activities.
I was in front of Mom”s coffin now and I caressed it. I smiled bitterly, as if I had just been with him. Our shopping at the mall, the way he taught me to cook, the smiles he gave me and everything he did for me. I miss all that.
I silently prayed for Mom and then I walked to the other side where Dad’s coffin was. I silently prayed for his soul too and I immediately sat down again.
This day was so tiring because more and more people were sympathetic. Mom and Dad really know a lot because of the business but more than that because they have helped a lot. They have scholars, charities and so on. They were both good-hearted.
“I’m sorry we’re late.”
I turned to the left and saw Roxanne and Seymour there. I smiled at them and made them sit down. During the few days of Mom and Dad’s hill, I was always with them. They volunteered earlier to buy food at the grocery store because the food stock here was exhausted. They will just come back.
Actually, they opposed my decision to accept Ivan again but apparently they also accepted. Roxanne said she understands that I love Ivan but this was Ivan’s last chance and when he hurts me, he won’t let me go back to my husband. While Seymour? I don’t know his reaction yet because he just gives me a stingy smile and a stingy answer.
“I’m amazed at you, best. How can you not be able to cry despite the loss of your parents?” Roxanne said to me in amazement so I smiled at her.